The lemon tree
by Happymood
Summary: AU Lovino didn't want to be a slave in that scary mansion. He needed to break free. But the fight for independence is a difficult path, and falling in love with the man that destroyed his life doesn't make things easier. Spamano.
1. Chapter 1

Ten years old Lovino Vargas was starting to feel nauseous.

It was the first time he ever got on a carriage and he really couldn't wait to get out of it. The new experience was making him sick by the minute. He tried to concentrate on the view outside instead of the constant joggle, and pretended he was simply walking in the countryside. He watched the people working in the fields and the lemon trees slowly disappearing from his view. Some of the farmers even looked up from what they were doing to watch the carriage pass by. Lovino recognized some of the faces too, and the fact made his already tormented stomach worse. Now not only he was nauseous, he was starting to feel melancholic too. He looked up at the clouds then. The sky was clear and the sun was so bright, Lovino had to protect his eyes with his hands to look at them better. He wondered then if he was ever going to see the sun again after this, and now not only he was nauseous and melancholic, he felt the terror rise inside him too.

He looked inside the carriage at the bulky man escorting them to Lovino didn't know where. He had come fetch them just that morning, him and his brother, from their little house in the woods, and he was now snoring peacefully in the carriage with them. Lovino didn't know his name, and he didn't really care.

"Lovino?", someone whispered beside him. Lovino looked over to his left, where his brother, Feliciano, was sitting. He was three years younger than him, and he resembled so much to their mother. They had the same auburn hair, the same fair complexion, and what Lovino hated the most was that his brother didn't even know they looked alike. She had died when Feliciano was just a year old.

"Silence." The bulky man exclaimed as soon as Feliciano spoke, his booming voice making them cringe. The man opened one eye at them, snorted, and returned back to sleep. Feliciano was ready to cry, Lovino could see it in his brother's eyes, and he wasn't surprised when his brother scooted closer to him. The man started snoring again, and Feliciano took it as a clue to speak again.

"Lovino…" Feliciano whispered his brother's name once more. Lovino shot a glance at the scary man, before reverting his attention back to his brother. "Where are they taking us?"

Lovino looked at the scary man once more, then at Feliciano's big and watery eyes. Feliciano was staring at him, hopeful, terrified, ready to cry. Lovino would have liked him to cry really. Lovino still resented him from what happened three days before.

He still hated his brother because of what happened. He hated him for being there where their father died. For being the one to hear their father's last words.

A week ago everything had been perfect. Their father was still alive. They still had a roof over their heads. Carolina, the cow, gave them milk every morning, and the chickens scratched about in the backyard. Now they had nothing.

A week ago their father fell ill, and he couldn't stand anymore up from his makeshift bed in the little house their father had built with his own hands.

"Oh, don't you worry! I'll be okay in no time! Besides Carolina misses me and I don't her to wait anymore." His father always said, before having one of his coughing fits.

The last thing his father had told Lovino was:

"Go fetch some wood for the fire, Lovino."

Lovino, not Feliciano. Lovino. Go get the wood, Lovino. Please, Lovino. Leave your brother here and go.

Lovino had. He didn't like taking orders, but that time Lovino went without complaining, really. He had left Feliciano behind with their father, and when he returned back with the wood his father had asked for, his father no longer needed it.

"Lovino?"

Feliciano touched his hand, Lovino pulled away, and suddenly Feliciano's cheeks were finally wet with tears. Lovino hated himself. He bit his lips, and took Feliciano's hand. Feliciano dried his tears with the palm of his free hand, and Lovino suddenly realized that it wasn't Feliciano's fault that he had been there when their father died. Feliciano was only seven. It must have been a traumatizing experience.

"Where are they taking us, Lovino?" Feliciano whispered again. Lovino simply shrugged. They had to stay together now. They had to, if they wanted to remain sane.

"I don't know." Lovino said then, and Feliciano started shaking once more. Lovino took him in his arms, and they remained in silence for the rest of the ride.

Lovino couldn't stop thinking, as Feliciano slowly fell asleep in his arms. The scary man's snoring was deafening, but his thoughts were much louder. He wondered who told those scary men that there were two orphans living in a little house together in the woods. Who was that bastard who told in on them? What were his father's last words? What was inside Feliciano's mind? And, most importantly, where were they going? Where they going in an orphanage? Marco, the neighbor's adopted son, told him it was an awful place. No food. No clothes. Their only pets were the fleas. Lovino didn't want to go in such place. He wanted to return back to his father. Were they together now? His mum and dad? Why did they leave them like this?

Where are they taking them?

Lovino closed his eyes. He wished he could stop thinking, stop feeling, stop being himself for just a second, stop feeling nauseous, terrified, and melancholic at the same time. Feliciano kept sleeping in his arms, and, suddenly exhausted, Lovino decided to do the same.

He didn't know how long it passed before they finally reached their destination. The carriage abruptly stopped, waking them both up, and Lovino looked outside to see a big, white, aristocratic mansion. He wondered if that was the orphanage Marco had told him about. It didn't look that menacing. Before the mansion stood a big fountain, the kind Lovino had only heard stories about. The roar of the water was deafening.

The scary man abruptly opened the door and immediately got off. Lovino and Feliciano remained alone for a moment, before the man returned back, grabbed them by the collar of their shirts, and unceremoniously pulled them out of the carriage. Feliciano let out a screech, and Lovino bit his lip to not cry. His heart started to beat fast in his chest, as the scary man dragged them to where the mansion stood. Two symmetrical flights of stairs led to an enormous wooden door. The three of them climbed the stairs and when they were finally before the wooden door, this opened, and a busty, ugly woman appeared.

She looked at them from up and down, her lips quivering in disgust, before setting her attention on the scary man still holding them from the collar.

"Are those the kids?" the woman said, her voice raucous.

"Yes, miss." The scary man said, "They are the Vargas' boys."

"Very well." She said and opened the door just a little more to let them in. Lovino had only a moment to look around at the fancy paintings on the wall and the red carpet under his feet, before the ugly woman pulled him away from the man's hold and opened his mouth to check his teeth. Lovino tried to bit the other's fingers, screamed, tried to kick the other away, but the woman was much stronger than him. When she was done checking him as if he was an animal, she let him go and grabbed Feliciano instead. Lovino made a step forwards to help his brother out, but the scary man held him right in his place.

"They are in a good state." The woman said as soon as she finished her administrations. Feliciano was crying openly now, and he tried to reach Lovino, but to no avail. The woman was holding him by the arm.

"Of course." The man said with a grin. The woman made a strange sound that resembled a groan, took a bag out of her dress' pocket, and gave it to the man. He let go of Lovino to take the bag, and opened it. He checked the money that was inside, and then looked at the woman, pissed off.

"This is not what we agreed on."

"It is more than enough for these scrawny kids." The woman said, haughty. Lovino wanted to kick her to a pulp just them, but knew it was a lost cause. The man made an infuriated sound, but didn't comment on what the woman had said. He shot a glance at the two kids, then, without another word, took his leave. The woman looked victorious, and as soon as the door closed behind the scary man, she took them by their arms, and led them to another part of the house.

"Where are you taking us, you ugly bitch?" Lovino suddenly exclaimed, and tried to free himself. The woman looked down at him and tightened her hold on his arm, hurting him with her nails.

"Watch your tongue." The woman hissed at him. Lovino tried to kick her, he even turned his head and bit her fingers, but the woman still didn't let go of him. "Feisty one, aren't you?" The woman said, amused and annoyed at the same time.

"Let go, bitch!" Lovino shouted instead. The woman snorted and kept walking. A moment later they were before another wooden door, and the woman let go of Feliciano for a moment to open it.

"Here are the boys." The woman announced, pushing them violently in. Lovino looked around him, it was the biggest room he had ever seen. It was much bigger than their whole house. Paintings decorated the walls, and an enormous pendant stood over a big, white, oval table. It was only then that Lovino noticed the three people staring at them.

On one end of the table sat a couple. She was very beautiful, with long, wavy chestnut hair, while he had a stern, pale face. He looked down at them from behind his glasses, and looked really aristocratic. On the other end sat another man, much more laid back than the first one. He was slightly tanned, with messy brown hair, and he was smiling at them both.

"Hello!", the tanned one said. Lovino immediately hated him. He felt Feliciano scoot closer to him, and intertwine their fingers together. "Oh, they are cute, aren't they, Roderich?", the man immediately said, looking over to where the man with the glasses sat.

"I don't care if they are cute." The man named Roderich said, and stood up.

"We are not cute, you asshole!" Lovino suddenly shouted, angry, and held Feliciano closer. He tried to make a step backwards, to where the door was, but the woman blocked the passage with her bulk.

As soon as his words were out, Roderich turned up his nose at Lovino. The tanned man burst out laughing, and Roderich reverted his attention back to him.

"If you please, I'll get to choose first." Roderich said, "I need someone much more educated, while you need someone to work in the fields."

The tanned man's laugher subsided, and looked at Roderich, suddenly serious. He narrowed his green eyes at the other man, but didn't say anything. Roderich seemed content at the turn of events, and approached Lovino and Feliciano, with his hands behind his back. He looked at Lovino for a moment, before leaning down to where Feliciano was. Feliciano yelped at the sudden vicinity, and made a step closer to Lovino.

"What's your name?" Roderich suddenly asked.

"F-Feliciano Vargas, sir." Feliciano said, shaking with fear.

"And how old are you?" Roderich asked then.

"He is seven, asshole." Lovino answered then, and pulled Feliciano away. "Let us go, you bitch!" he shouted then back at the bulky woman beside them. "We have no business here!"

The bulky woman shot him a look, but didn't say anything. Roderich sighed, looked behind to where the beautiful woman was.

"Elizabeta?" Roderich asked. Elizabeta looked at the two kids, her eyes worried and just a little sad, for a moment, and then she nodded. Roderich imperceptibly smiled and took Feliciano's hand.

"You are going to work for me now, Feliciano." He said, and softly pulled him away from Lovino's hold. At the sudden loss of touch, Feliciano's eyes filled with tears again. He tried to take Lovino's hand once more, but Roderich pulled him out of Lovino's reach. Lovino stood terrified as Elizabeta reached her partner, and, fearing the worst, made a step forward to get closer to his brother.

"Lovino! Lovino, help me!" Feliciano shouted as he was being dragged away. Lovino felt a pair of hands holding him in place. He tried to free himself, cursed out loud, extended his hand to reach his brother, but it was to no use. Feliciano also extended his hand, he started crying, shouted incomprehensible things, but Roderich's hold on him was strong, and he was dragged away without much difficulty.

"Let me go, you bastard!" Lovino shouted, and slapped the hands that were holding him. He suddenly felt someone lift him up, and he looked behind to see the tanned man smile at him. He spat on him, and the man let go of him, surprised. Lovino grinned and started running for the door.

"Lovino!" Feliciano shouted once more. The door opened, the lady called Elizabeta looked behind to where Lovino was, and Roderich tightened his hold on the younger Vargas. Suddenly Lovino felt being lifted up again, and the last thing he heard before the doors closed once more, was his brother shouting:

"I WANT TO STAY WITH MY BROTHER!"

Lovino stared petrified at the closed door. The bulky woman was looking at him, amused, and Lovino started cursing her out loud. Feliciano's cried slowly died out, and Lovino suddenly realized he was gone forever.

"Stop it." Someone suddenly said, and Lovino looked up to see the other man look down at him. "I'm not going to hurt you." He smiled at him, "My name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. Your master from here on."

"I'm no one's slave!" Lovino shouted and tried to punch the other in the face, but the busty woman came to Carriedo's rescue, and pulled him away from the other's hands. Carriedo seemed unfazed by it all, he kept smiling for a long moment, then he sighed.

"Well. It's such a pity Roderich choose first." Antonio said then, looking disappointed. "The other seemed much cuter."

"I don't think it will have given you as much satisfaction as this one. If you manage to train it…" The woman said, shooting a disgusted look at Lovino. Antonio looked down at Lovino, and sighed once more.

"Stop talking as if I was an animal!" Lovino shouted and punched the woman in the chest. The woman's face turned really nasty, and Lovino suddenly yelped in fear.

"What's your name, kid?" Carriedo asked then, taking Lovino's attention to himself. Lovino stared at the other man, his eyes wide with fear and desperation. He hoped Carriedo wouldn't notice. He didn't like the way the man was looking at him.

"L-Lovino." He said then, suddenly making up his mind. Carriedo seemed satisfied by Lovino's sudden change in attitude, and smiled at him. Lovino felt suddenly very self-conscious.

"It could be your perfect boy toy." The ugly woman said then. Lovino turned his head so abruptly to her, he swore his neck cracked. The woman looked even more amused now, and Lovino suddenly feared her. Carriedo didn't comment on what the woman had said, and just sighed.

"Take him to Bella, please. She will tell him what to do." And with that he sat down on one of the chairs, mumbling to himself that the other one had been much cuter. Lovino's heart was beating so fast, his chest felt like being ripped apart. The ugly woman dragged him away, out from that strange dining room, away from Carriedo, and then down the stairs where Lovino supposed the kitchens were.

He was right. The room was really hot, and there was steam everywhere. In the middle of the kitchen, waving a wooden spoon around, was a young girl, with blond hair held by a red hair-band. The ugly woman unceremoniously dropped Lovino down at the girl's feet, and he looked up to meet her kind, green eyes. The girl looked at him, for a moment confused, then up at the woman.

"The new maid." The woman said, sarcastic, and sniffed in disgust, before turning her back at them. Lovino watched her go, and then looked up at the girl. He almost blushed at her beauty, and remained with his mouth open for a long moment. She smiled at him, and kneeled down to his eye level.

"Hi! I'm Bella, the cook!" she said. "You are?"

"L-Lovino." He said, regaining composure. "And I'm not supposed to be here."

At that Bella smiled sadly at him, and caressed his face, making him blush once more.

"No one is." She said. "But don't worry. I'm going to take care of you."

"I don't need to be taken care of…" Lovino said, trying to sound brave, but his voice cracked. Bella put a hand on his shoulder, and at the touch, Lovino suddenly started shaking. He felt like crying, but he didn't want to cry before this kind and beautiful girl.

"How old are you?"

"T-ten."

"You'll help me out in the kitchen from now on. Is that okay?" Bella said softly then. Lovino shook his head no. Of course it was not okay! He needed to be with his brother! Oh, God. He wasn't going to see him again, was he?

"Please don't cry." Bella suddenly exclaimed, her eyes sad. Lovino looked up at her, and finally realized that his cheek were wet.

"Damn it." He said. "Damn it." He punched the floor, and suddenly started sobbing. He heard Bella drop the spoon she was holding on the ground to hug him. He let her put her hands around his shoulder, and, suddenly exhausted, he started openly crying.


	2. Chapter 2

One of the things Lovino realized almost immediately was that, in that aristocratic mansion too big to memorize, there were more servants than masters. Lovino found that funny, because he really wondered what all those people were needed for if there were so few to serve, and then realized that the same probably went for every aristocratic family in the country. It must have felt awfully good to be treated that well by so many, and Lovino felt immediately a kind of resentment at the luck of some people.

He didn't meet all the masters of the house yet. He learned from Bella that Antonio Fernandez Carriedo was the owner of that mansion and all of the fields around it since his parents died, and that he had a cousin somewhere that wanted nothing to do with him. Lovino had met Carriedo once or twice since he first arrived to the mansion. Carriedo was younger than Lovino first supposed. Bella told him he was just sixteen, which meant they had six years of difference. Nevertheless, no matter how old Carriedo was, Lovino decided he, as ten years old, acted much more grown up than the master of the house. The few times he had met Carriedo around that stupid mansion, the young man always laughed, acted foolishly and had the bad habit of winking at Lovino every time they crossed paths.

Lovino didn't like the guy, and he even felt angrier every time he thought that that stupid, worthless man had power over him. Nevertheless, Lovino liked Carriedo more than that ugly, busty woman that had checked his teeth as if he was a horse his first day in the mansion. As Carriedo was too young to manage his own propriety, the woman decided she was going to be the one doing it until Carriedo came of age. (Not that Carriedo knew about it.)

As no one knew her real name, everyone called her the Matron. She had served the Carriedo family for ages, or, at least, that was what Bella told him. She was a nasty woman, the Matron, always interfering in everybody's life, and making everybody's already awful existence, just a litte more unbearable. She was the one who decided who stayed and who left, the one to decide when it was time for dinner, for bed, for going to the bathroom, for everything. Bella disliked her with a passion, and she wasn't the only one. The Matron was hated by everyone in the house.

Lovino met a lot of other people too, and most of them had been serving the Carriedo family since they were Lovino's age. Most of them, if not everyone, were orphans that had no one else in this world but themselves.

Lovino was quite glad he had his brother in those moments. He wondered where he was, if he had had Lovino's same destiny, or if he was in a much worse situation. He was going to find that soon, he decided one day, because, contrary to all the other orphans in that stupid mansion, he was going to attempt escaping. Lovino had tried to check the mansion out, to find some way out of it, but The Matron never let him out of her sight, and barricaded him in the kitchen with Bella. Lovino wasn't allowed to go out of the kitchens without some sort of company.

But even if he achieved that and somehow managed to get out, there were always the guards that would immediately take him back in. Bella said so one day as they prepared dinner together.

"And they don't go easy on you either." Bella added, drying one tear with the back of her hand. She sighed and then started cutting the onions again. "They could beat you to death, but Carriedo would have their heads on a silver plate if they dared try. They need workforce."

Lovino didn't listen to her and even forgot about what she said altogether when one day found himself wandering about in the mansion, in search of something Bella needed. Lovino took immediately advantage of the fact he was completely alone, and started running towards the front doors without a second though. He managed to get a glimpse of the sun outside, before one of the guards caught him by the shirt and dragged him away, where no one could hear his screams.

It was Bella who came to his rescue. Noticing his long absence, Bella stopped whatever she doing to go in search of the young boy. She tried everywhere, and, fearing the worse, went to Carriedo's studio to directly ask for help. Carriedo tried to comfort her, took her hand, and made a bee line to where the guards usually took their victims.

It was Carriedo who shouted at the guards to stop. He looked much more worried than angry, as he took Lovino in his arms.

"He is just a boy." Carriedo had said to the guards. Lovino hurt all over, and he was sure that the wounds on his back would remain there forever, but, nevertheless, he tried to get out of Carriedo's hold, shouting at him that he was perfectly able to take care of himself.

"He needed to be punished." One of the guards shrugged. Carriedo ignored Lovino's cries, touched the other boy's back, dried the blood on his trousers, and gave Lovino back to Bella, who was openly crying and cursing at the guards in a language Lovino thought was German.

Lovino didn't try to escape the mansion from the front door ever again. Not only because he suddenly understood what the guards were capable of, but because he didn't want to see Bella cry like that ever again too. From then on, Lovino didn't let go of his only friend. He followed her like a shadow, and the Matron too had to close an eye at that.

Bella's job wasn't just cooking. She had other tasks to do, like picking the fruits from the back garden, to which Lovino was allowed to go, and going to the town, to which Lovino still wasn't allowed to go, whenever she needed something to buy, like milk and bread. Lovino wanted so much to go with her to the town, because he was sure it would be easier to escape from there, but the Matron had been very strict about it, and Lovino didn't dare going against her.

Lovino could escape only in two ways, he realized soon. Either he tried to get out of the mansion from the back garden, or he would try to escape as soon as Carriedo decided he was old enough to work in the fields.

Most of the older orphans worked there. They woke up at 4 o'clock in the morning and didn't return until late in the evening, when the sun had already set and everybody was already asleep. Lovino didn't like the prospect of working in the fields. He hated hard labor or working in general, so he pretended he was too weak to hoe, and remained by Bella's side.

"Besides." Bella told him one day, "It's even harder to escape from the fields. There are people guarding the fields much more terrifying than the guards outside."

The back garden was a small but beautiful vegetable garden just behind the mansion, surrounded by a high enclosure. The white walls surrounding it were the first thing that Lovino noticed when he first stepped outside there. It was three times taller than Lovino was, and Lovino immediately realized that there was no way he could jump on the other side without any sort of help.

Tending to the gardens was one of Bella's friends. He was a tall, blond man, with a scary look on his face. When he knew no one was looking, he would take a cigarette from his back pocket and would start smoking. He didn't speak much, and just nodded if someone told him anything. Lovino was quite scared of him, and tried to avoid him as best as he could.

The back garden was full with vegetables and fruit trees. What Lovino found extremely strange, however, was that there was only one lemon tree in the middle of it. He couldn't understand why, as the masters of the mansion used lemons a lot. On the far end of the back garden there was some kind of log cabin, where the gardener kept all his gardening stuff. Lovino had looked inside it once, just out of curiosity, and found it to be quite empty. He could stand inside it quite comfortably, and one day he even found out he could stay hours on end inside without anyone bothering him. It was his favorite place for a nap, if he decided he needed it. Bella had been scared at first that he didn't return to her side. She thought Lovino had tried to escape again, and she was highly relieved when he found him soundly asleep in the log house. From then on, Bella knew that if Lovino suddenly disappeared, he would surely be inside there.

Days passed like that and not once did Lovino forget his escaping plan. He always thought of ways he could get out, and sometimes he would be fantasizing the conversation he would have with his brother when they will find each other. He didn't dare to escape without a plan anymore, not after his first fiasco. He just had to wait for the right opportunity, which, unexpectedly, came real soon.

Lovino by then knew the back garden as the back of his hand, and he immediately recognized something looked extremely different when one day he accompanied Bella out to the back garden to reap the oranges. Lovino was sure that the ladder lying against the wall was new. Lovino's heart started beating really fast when he realized it was as tall as the wall was. His mind immediately started twirling, and crossing emotions started filling his heart.

If he managed to climb that ladder, he would manage to get to the other side and out of the mansion. That was all he could think about that day, and he didn't even listen to Bella as she talked to him about trivial things, neither did he notice the gardener staring at him from the other side of the garden, as he pulled up weeds.

Lovino decided he had to wait till night came, when he was sure everybody was asleep in their beds. Lovino helped Bella absentmindedly, he even cut his fingers more than twice as he cut the onions for the oncoming dinner, and he was even angry at Bella when she didn't fall asleep as quickly as she usually did.

It was past midnight when Lovino finally decided he could leave Bella side without her noticing. He made the slightest noise possible and went out the kitchens to the back garden. He checked no one was there, and that the gardener wasn't luring somewhere, before he stepped outside. Lovino felt really happy at how easy it had been until that point. He run to the ladder that was still against the wall, and made sure it carried his weight. His heart was beating frantically. He felt the adrenaline in his veins. He decided he was going to meet his brother soon. He sighed. Looked behind to where he knew the kitchens were. Looked up at the dark mansion. His heart was ready to break. He made the first step up.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Lovino almost fell from the ladder at the sound of that voice. He turned abruptly around and came face to face with no other that Carriedo himself. The young master of the house was leaning peacefully against the opposite wall, looking up at the stars above. Lovino suddenly got sweaty hands, and he glanced up at the ladder once more.

"If I climb quickly up, I'll still manage to get out of here." Lovino thought. He touched the wooden ladder, but then thought better of it, as Carriedo suddenly moved to get closer to him. Lovino watched him with wide opened eyes. His heart started beating fast, but this time for fear. Carriedo was smiling at him, not looking angry at him at all.

"We are surrounded by the woods." Carriedo said, slightly leaning closer to Lovino's face. Lovino's lips became a thin line. He stepped backwards, and collided against the wall. Carriedo was too close.

"I don't care, bastard!" Lovino suddenly exclaimed, becoming red from the anger. Carriedo cocked his way to the side, amused, and stared straight into Lovino's eyes.

"So you are not afraid of the wolves, are you?" Carriedo said. Lovino's eyes became wide as saucers.

"W-wolves?" Lovino repeated, gulping. Carriedo's face suddenly became serious.

"Yes, wolves." Carriedo said. "They hunt at night, didn't you know?"

"O-of course I knew!" Lovino exclaimed, almost becoming one with the wall for the fear, "I just don't care!"

"Oh, in that case." Carriedo smiled and moved away from Lovino. He smiled and patted Lovino on the head. Lovino tried to slap the other's hand away, making Carriedo laugh. "It was a pleasure to meet you!" he smiled and turned his back at Lovino, making his way back to the mansion. Lovino watched him go, glanced at the ladder once more, and ran back inside.

Bella found him the next morning sound asleep by her side, looking as if he was having nightmares. Lovino was clutching her dress really tight, and didn't want to let go of her for the rest of the day.

Lovino decided he needed a better plan. He made up his mind and the next night took a knife with him. The ladder was still there, the mansion was silent, and this time he didn't saw Carriedo lurking in the darkness. Lovino made his way to the ladder, and stared at it for a long time. He thought about what Carriedo told him, and made a step forward.

"He was just trying to scare me, the bastard." Lovino decided. "He thinks I believe his lies. What a loser." He made to climb the ladder. His heart skipped a beat as a wolf suddenly started howling in the distance. Fast as thunder, he immediately ran back inside.

Maybe escaping by night wasn't such a good plan, not if he was alone, he decided then. Lovino wanted so much that Bella would escape with him, but the cook had been serving the Carriedos for so long, she had forgotten what freedom meant. She told him that she had nowhere else to go, that now the mansion was her own home, and that she felt too safe in the kitchens. Lovino became angry at her when she told him so, and didn't talk with her for days after that.

Lovino started talking to Bella again, when one day, the Matron came down to the kitchen to bring some news to them. Lovino and Bella stared at the ugly woman as she made her way to them with that disgusted grin plastered on her face. She stared at Lovino for a long moment, and then she reverted her attention to Bella's face.

"The master needs someone to clean his room. I need to take it upstairs." The Matron said, and without waiting for an answer, grabbed Lovino's arm and dragged him away.

"Wait..!" Bella suddenly exclaimed. The Matron imperceptibly moved her head to face her, but didn't slow down.

"I don't want to clean anyone's room!" Lovino shouted, trying to bite the Matron's hand. "LET ME GO, BITCH! Bella! Bella, help me!"

"Shut up!" the Matron kicked him, but didn't let go of him.

"Don't worry, Lovino. It's only temporary!" Bella said, the shake in her voice betraying her real emotions. Lovino nodded, even if he didn't believe her, and finally followed the Matron quietly outside. The Matron seemed really relieved at this and she started walking faster away from the kitchens. They walked the inner stairs up to where the masters' rooms were. Lovino had never been to that floor before, and he was surprised to see that it didn't look as different from the other floors as he thought they would be. He looked at the different paintings on the wall, recognized Carriedo's face in some of them, before he looked up at the Matron.

"Where are we going?"

"Don't you ever listen?" The Matron asked, annoyed. She tsk-ed and suddenly stopped before one of the doors. "Here is the master's room." She said. "Dust, clean, bring the curtains downstairs to be washed, and for Goodness' sake, don't steal anything!" She ordered and pushed a duster in his hands. She tsk-ed once more and then continued: "There are the brooms and everything you may need."

Lovino looked over at where she was pointing, and noticed a wooden door on the opposite door. The Matron shot him another murderous look and then, without another word, walked away. Lovino watched her go, then he looked inside Carriedo's room from the open door. It was empty, and suddenly feeling curious, Lovino stepped inside.

It was big, much bigger than two of the kitchens put together, and really bright. Lovino looked at the bed, at the sofas and all that gibberish Carriedo had in his room. He noticed a piano standing near the big windows, and Lovino wondered if the bastard was a pianist too. He immediately pushed the thought out of his mind, because he didn't really care, and groaned.

"It would take me all day long to clean in here!" he complained out loud. He dropped the duster on the floor and made his way to the piano instead. He looked up at the curtains, and then sighed. "What if I pretend I did everything and just take the curtains downstairs?" he wondered. "That bitch won't even notice the difference…"

He sighed once more and sat down before the piano. Only then did he notice that there was a guitar lying against it, and he stood up again to get it. He looked at it for a long time, then checked no one was looking, and touched one of the cords. The guitar let out a strange sound, then it fell on the floor with a loud 'thump'. Lovino cursed and made to put it back in its place.

"You like guitars?", a voice suddenly said, and Lovino suddenly stood up, letting the guitar fall back on the floor once more. He turned around to see Carriedo entering his own room.

"I-I…!" Lovino became red, then turned his face away from Carriedo's stare and made his way to the windows. "I need to take the curtains downstairs! The bitch… oh, shit… I mean…!"

Carriedo laughed, and Lovino suddenly shut up to look at him again.

"What are you laughing at, bastard?" he shouted and crossed his arms over his chest. Carriedo smiled at him, and approached him.

"Nothing!" Carriedo said, "You are just too cute."

"W-what?" Lovino suddenly shouted and blushed even more. Carriedo ignored him and knelt down to pick the guitar up.

"I could teach you, if you want." Carriedo said, smiling at him. Lovino raised both of his eyebrows, and looked down at the guitar in Carriedo's arms.

"I thought you played the piano." Lovino said instead. Carriedo looked at him amused, then started playing something.

"No, my friend does. I just play the guitar." Carriedo said. Lovino shot a glance at the piano behind him, then at Carriedo.

"I don't really care." Lovino said then, he climbed onto the piano and started pulling the curtains. "I'm just here for the curtains." He tried to pull them down, but to no avail. Carriedo laughed, and Lovino shot him a murderous look.

"Let me help you!" Carriedo said then, letting go of the guitar and standing up. Lovino stared at him and shook his head no.

"No!" he shouted and pulled even harder. There was a ripping sound, the curtains suddenly loosened and Lovino found himself face up with the floor.

"Are you okay?" Carriedo suddenly exclaimed. Lovino didn't even look up at him, and just ran out of the room, back to the kitchen's safety.


	3. Chapter 3

To say the Matron was angry would be an understatement.

"You worthless piece of shit!"

She was furious.

Lovino refrained from screaming as the Matron hit Lovino's hands with a wet stick. He didn't want to give the Matron that kind of satisfaction and he bit his lips until it hurt.

"You are so worthless!". Hit. "Useless!". Hit. "I asked you to do a single thing!". Hit. "What have you been doing all of this time?". Hit. Lovino's hands were red from the constant whippings. He couldn't take it anymore. Another hit and he would start crying.

"Please, miss. Enough!" Bella suddenly interrupted. She had been watching the scene from afar, her eyes wet with not shed tears. The stick stopped in mid-air and the Matron abruptly turned around to look at Bella, livid. The Matron pointed the stick at her, and Lovino took advantage of this and run to where Bella was standing.

"It's your fault too, you know?" The Matron shouted. "Do you know how much those curtains were worth? And this useless thing ruined them! Do you know how much we are going to spend now to replace them? Do you?" The Matron shouted at the top of her lungs. Lovino hid behind Bella, afraid, and almost forgot the pain on his hands at the sound of the Matron's angry voice. He felt Bella move to hide him a little better, and Lovino felt suddenly relieved he had someone to take care of him right then.

"It's your fault!" The Matron added once more, "I'm sure that you let it play around all day, and do all the most difficult things yourself!" The Matron twisted her lips in disgust. "It doesn't know any discipline. It doesn't follow orders, and just ends ruining everything. I can't stand that."

"I assure you he does what I tell him to do, miss." Bella dared to say. The Matron almost snorted.

"It doesn't look like it." The Matron said and crossed her arms over her chest. "But don't worry. I'll do what you are supposed to do."

"I don't understand." Bella said, suddenly confused. The Matron looked smugly at her, and then shot a glance to where Lovino was still hiding.

"That useless thing will be working for me from now on. I won't let it out of my sight for a second." The Matron said.

"But I need help in the kitchen! How am I supposed to do everything alone?" Bella immediately disagreed. The Matron raised an eyebrow at her.

"It will work for you too, of course. I won't let it have a moment of rest." The Matron said. Lovino wanted to scream at her, hurt her, but he suddenly realized he was too young, too weak to do anything about it. Anger swiveled inside of him. He stared at his hands, hid them in his pockets, and stared as the Matron suddenly came closer.

"Did you hear, useless thing?" The Matron said, suddenly pushing Bella away to look at Lovino better. Lovino looked up at her and nodded slightly. He wanted so much to escape, he wanted so much to return back to his father and his brother, back to where he was before those two ugly men came to take them away.

Lovino wondered if that night could be the night. The ladder was still in the back garden, he still had a chance to escape from there. Now that he knew how the Matron was when angry, he feared the wolves even less. He preferred to be devoured than stay in that mansion a moment longer.

"Come with me, then!" The Matron exclaimed then, and grabbed him by the shirt. Once more Bella tried to calm her down.

"He is tired, miss!" Bella said, "Let him have a moment of rest before he goes back to work!"

The Matron turned to face her and narrowed her eyes at Bella. She angrily pulled Lovino closer to her, and pointed the stick at the cook once more.

"Didn't you hear a word I said?" The Matron shouted, suddenly mad again. Bella stared at her straight in the eyes, and then looked down at Lovino, guiltily. She looked ready to cry, and Lovino understood that he have no way out of this. He had to do as the Matron said.

The Matron pulled him away, and took him with her back to the upper floors. This time, though, she didn't leave him alone. She almost tossed him the broom and the rugs he should use, ordered him to clean Mr. Carriedo's room, and remained sitting on the couch all the time Lovino needed to clean. As she had promised, she didn't let him out of her sight, and Lovino could do nothing but follow her every order. When he didn't do something as the Matron wanted, he was immediately scolded for it, threatening him with the stick she still held by her side. Mr. Carriedo was nowhere in sight, and for the first time since Lovino first came to that damned mansion, he missed the other's presence.

When he was over, his hands had started bleeding for the effort. He was hurt all over and he was ready to pass out. Outside it was already dark, and he imagined it was time for dinner, but food was the last thing in his mind right in that moment. The Matron ordered to go help Bella out in the kitchens then, and Romano almost dropped his broom in his haste to get away from the busty dictator.

Bella received him with open arms. She washed his wounds and told him that he didn't need to do anything till next morning. Lovino was glad Bella was so kind to him. He blushed, told her sorry for making her cry, and ran away before she could comment on it to where their little room was, near the kitchens. When he woke up hours later, Bella was softly sleeping besides him. Lovino's hands didn't hurt so much, and, suddenly remembering his escaping plan, he slowly made his way outside in the back garden. He kept checking no one was following him, and went out. There was a slight breeze and the air smelled of lemons. He looked at the only lemon tree in the middle of the garden, gazed at the fruits hiding in the leaves, and then ran to where the ladder still leaned against the wall.

He looked around him once more, checked no one was there, and started climbing up. As soon as he touched the wood, though, the wounds on his hands suddenly opened again. The pain was insufferable and Lovino almost lost his balance. He ignored his hands, made up his mind and decided to keep going.

He suddenly realized that there was a long way to go till the ladder ended, and his heart started beating fast in his chest. He looked up at the dark sky, and then down at his bloodied hands. He couldn't make it.

"I can't make it." Lovino said out loud, and as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he fell down on the damp earth. He screamed in anger and pain, and kicked the ladder, which fell down with a loud thump. Lovino felt like crying, but didn't, and without another thought returned back to his place besides Bella.

The morning after, the Matron arrived as soon as he and Bella had finished preparing breakfast. She took Lovino with her, ordered Bella to take the food upstairs to where the dining room was, and left.

That morning Lovino had to clean all the windows in the big ballroom and to dust every vase that existed in the mansion. The Matron followed his every move with her eyes, and scolded him when he missed a spot. She didn't bring her stick that time, but Lovino knew better and did everything as she wanted him to do. It took him three hours to finish everything, and when he did the Matron decided he should go upstairs to the Masters' studio to dust the bookshelves. Lovino didn't complaint, as he was too afraid she was going to hit him to, and followed her upstairs.

Contrary to the ballroom, in the Master's studio there were other people. Lovino was startled to see Mr. Carriedo holding his head, bored to death, reading a book together with a man with glasses Lovino had never saw before. As soon as the Matron and Lovino stepped inside, the two of them looked up to meet their gaze. Mr. Carriedo seemed glad at the sudden intrusion, while the other man seemed annoyed by it.

"We are trying to study." The man said. "Can't the cleaning wait?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Cricket." The Matron said, arrogant as ever. Lovino looked at Mr. Carriedo, suddenly feeling bad for looking so dirty, but Mr. Carriedo didn't seem to care. He looked at Lovino, smiled, and then noticed the younger man's wounded hands. Lovino immediately hid them behind his back and he was glad when the Matron pushed him to where the bookshelves were.

Mr. Cricket sniffed, annoyed, and then looked down at the books Carriedo was supposed to study once more. Lovino glanced at them, as Carriedo started writing strange things on a chalkboard behind him. Lovino was curious to know what they were doing, but the Matron just scolded him and tossed the rug in his hands.

"Take all the books out." She said. "Dust the shelves and put the books exactly where you found them, understood?"

"Yes, yes…" Lovino said, annoyed, and climbed up a ladder to get to the upper shelves. The Matron seemed pissed off at Lovino for talking back and opened her mouth to say something.

"Miss!" Mr. Cricket suddenly exclaimed, startling both Lovino and the Matron. "Math is a difficult thing, so please, be quiet!"

"Mr. Cricket, I…!" The Matron immediately started to retort. Carriedo snorted behind his hands, and then looked at the Matron too.

"Aren't you needed downstairs?" Carriedo said, speaking for the first time. The Matron seemed taken aback by this.

"Yes, but I need to check the kid so it doesn't do anything stupid!"

Lovino stuck his tongue at her, and immediately reverted his attention back to the books when the Matron turned to look at him. Carriedo smiled and waved a white with chalk hand at her.

"I think he can manage just fine." Carriedo said. Lovino turned to look at him and blushed when the older man winked at him.

"But…!" The Matron tried to reason, putting her hands on her hips.

"Miss!" Mr. Cricket suddenly yelled. "Please."

The Matron stared at the man, shocked, then glanced at Lovino silently daring him to do anything stupid and left the studio.

"Oh, finally." Mr. Cricket sighed, and looked at Carriedo again. "You wrote that formula wrong, Antonio. Please erase it and do it again."

Lovino stared as Carriedo suddenly looked lost. He started searching for something, and then, with a guilty look, shrugged at Mr. Cricket.

"I think I lost the sponge."

Mr. Cricket looked surprised at him.

"But we had it before!" he said, to which Carriedo just shrugged. Mr. Cricket sighed and stood up. "Well then, I'll go downstairs to get a new one." And with a last, sad look at the chalkboard, he left the studio. Carriedo sighed and then looked at Lovino, who pretended to dust the shelves.

"Oops!" Carriedo said, and Lovino raised an eyebrow at him when he took the supposedly lost sponge from behind the chalkboard. "I must have dropped it." And he started laughing. Lovino stared at him, the rug in mid air. Lovino almost smiled at Carriedo, but then shook his head and dusted the shelves with much more force than necessary.

"I'm sorry, Lovino… isn't it?" Carriedo suddenly said, startling Lovino. Lovino looked down at him and raised an eyebrow. Carriedo smiled up at him and added: "It's really a beautiful name."

"I hate it." Lovino said, before he could think. Carriedo looked at him confused, and Lovino turned his back to him to hide his sudden blush.

"Why?" Carriedo asked then. Lovino stopped what he was doing once more and looked at Carriedo, who was erasing the formula from the chalkboard. Lovino thought for a long moment if he should answer or not, then bit his lips.

"Because it's fucking stupid." Lovino stated. Carriedo laughed.

"I think it's beautiful."

"That's bullshit."

Carriedo laughed once more. There was a moment of silence, in which Lovino just stared at Carriedo and didn't do what he was supposed to do. Carriedo flicked some pages of his book then he looked up at Lovino once more. Lovino felt his heart speed up at the fact he was caught staring and took some books out of the bookshelf instead.

"I'm sorry for your hands." Carriedo said. "Bella told me all about it."

Lovino looked at him, then at his hands, and blushed.

"Well, the curtains…" Lovino started.

"I hated those curtains." Carriedo interrupted him. Just in that moment the door slammed open and Mr. Cricket came inside, carrying a new sponge with him.

"Oh, I see you found the sponge." Mr. Cricket said, amused. "I guess then you won't mind resolving these problems now, do you?"

Carriedo groaned. Lovino glanced at him and cocked his head to the side as Carriedo started writing on the chalkboard again. Lovino really couldn't understand what they were doing. He supposed it was something stupid, and, suddenly remembering the Matron could return at any time, he forgot about Carriedo and started dusting again.

Just after noon, the Matron came to fetch him, and told him he could have lunch, but that the rest of the day he had to turn all the floors spotless.

Later in the evening, Lovino was finally free again. He immediately returned to the kitchens and, once more, Bella was there to greet him. She checked his hands, caressed his cheeks, and gave him something to eat. When they went to sleep, Lovino reminded himself he had to escape. Sure Bella wouldn't take in his lack of presence, he immediately sneaked out to the back garden.

The ladder was still there, as if it was waiting for him. Lovino looked at his hands, glanced behind him where the mansion stood, silent and scary, and started climbing up, feeling that this time was the right one. It took him less than a minute to get high enough to jump to other side.

As soon as he saw what waited for him from the other side of the wall, his heart literally stopped. Acres and acres of woods surrounded him. He couldn't see the town anywhere, and the wall was too high for him to jump. He would hurt himself if he tried.

"And if I manage to do that, where would I go?", Lovino thought. He imagined himself running in the woods, he saw the wolves, bandits, shadows lurking in the darkness. He was too young. Too weak. Too alone.

Escape was impossible.

He climbed down and looked at the lemon tree in the middle of the garden.

It was alone too.

They had no way out. They were stuck there for the rest of their lives.

Lovino suddenly felt like crying, he sat down against the only lemon tree in the garden, and hid his head in his arms. He couldn't escape. He was too weak. He was too much of a coward.

"Hey, kid." He suddenly heard and looked up at the man approaching him in fear. He immediately recognized the gardener's stern face, and Lovino dried his face on his shirt. He didn't want him to see him crying. Lovino made to stand up and run away, but the gardener touched his shoulder, refraining from doing so.

"My name is Nathan." The gardener said, taking a cigarette out of his pockets. Lovino looked up at him, in silence. The gardener sighed, sat down and pointed the cigarette at him. "You smoke?"

Lovino looked at the other's face and cocked his head in confusion. Nathan, the gardener, laughed a little and brought the cigarette to his lips. He lighted it and sighed once more, this time in contentment.

"I guess not." Nathan said, laughing once again.

"May I?" Lovino suddenly asked, reaching for the cigarette between the other's lips.

"You are too young." Nathan said, matter of fact-ly, and Lovino pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. There was a long moment of silence, then Nathan said:

"I saw what you were trying to do."

Lovino's breath hitched, and he looked at Nathan afraid. Nathan didn't say anything though, and Lovino turned from afraid to disappointed.

"I can't." Lovino said. "I'm useless. I can't do anything."

"And what if you could?" Nathan said, exhaling the smoke out from his nose, "There's no difference. Where will you go? Who is waiting for you?"

"I-I don't know. I'll find someone."

"You are too young, kid." Nathan said, "Whoever is waiting for you, will have surely given up on you now. Face it. You are here now. Outside there is much worse, trust me."

Lovino looked up at him, then at the ladder.

"Where will you go all alone?" Nathan asked again.

"I… I could…" but Lovino stopped. Nathan sighed.

"There is nothing for you out there, kid. You are alone. Here you have Bella, and if you ever need anything you can ask me too."

"I…" Lovino shook his head. "Yeah, probably." He stood up and without another glance at Nathan he ran back inside.

Nathan watched the kid go, then sighed. He run a hand through his hair and then looked at his right, where someone had been standing hiding in the darkness.

"I did what you asked me to do." Nathan said, standing up. Carriedo suddenly approached him, and smiled at him.

"He is not going to attempt escaping anymore?" Carriedo asked.

"I don't think he has the strength to, not anymore." Nathan said.

"Good." Carriedo said and put a purse in Nathan's hands. Nathan stared at the gold inside it, then at Carriedo, who smiled at him. "Just remember to put your ladder away next time, okay?"

Nathan sadly nodded.

When Lovino returned to the back garden the next evening, the ladder was gone forever.


	4. Chapter 4

"This is the 'La'", Carriedo said with a big smile, guiding Lovino's fingers on the cords. Lovino stared down at the too big for his arms guitar, and struggled to put his hands on the right place. "Yes! That's right!", Carriedo said, grinning from ear to ear.

Lovino hated his boss in times like those; he hated how happy the guy looked when Lovino did something right. He wanted to punch that silly smile off the other's face, but, at the same time, he felt quite elated when Carriedo's eyes twinkled like that. Lovino looked down at his hands, then at Carriedo's hands on his. He suddenly felt the presence of the other sitting behind him and started blushing furiously.

"It's stupid!" Lovino exclaimed and tried to get out of the other's strange embrace, leave the guitar and return back to his kitchens safety.

"Why?" Carriedo was honestly confused, "You were doing so well!"

The compliments made everything worse. Lovino felt his face burn. He kicked the other on the knee, pushed the guitar into the other's arms and walked away. He didn't know why he was taking guitar lesson with his boss of all people. He didn't know why he had accepted it in the first place.

It had seemed like a good idea, at first. Lovino didn't have the freakiest idea why the Matron kept barking orders and followed like a shadow when he needed to do housework, but let him completely alone when Carriedo was in the room. When Carriedo was with him, Lovino didn't need to do any chores. He supposed it was all Carriedo's doing, but he had to admit it was nice to not have the Matron breathing down on him all day long. Lovino was happy when Carriedo happened to be in the same room Lovino had to clean, as it meant that the Matron would finally leave him alone.

At the same time, though, that meant he was alone with a silly teenager that kept staring at him when Carriedo thought Lovino wasn't looking. It was creepy and it made him feel awkward. Lovino felt comfortable only when Carriedo was with someone else, like Mr. Cricket, too busy to do his stupid math to pay attention to Lovino. When they were completely alone, though, Lovino suddenly felt self-conscious and would pray for the Matron to come and fetch him. That wasn't good for his sanity, and, so, one day when they were totally alone, completely out of the blue, Lovino had spat:

"T-teach me to play guitar, stupid Carriedo!"

And Carriedo had. He had been on cloud nine when Lovino had asked, as if he had expected this to happen since the first day they met.

Lovino liked the sound the cords made when touched just right. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he loved listening to Carriedo playing. What he hated, however, was the way Carriedo leaned so close when he tried teaching him how to play. Carriedo breathing against his neck was much worse than the Matron staring at him as if he was a disgusting bug. Lovino's heart felt like breaking in his chest when Carriedo whispered something in his ear.

It had seemed like a good idea at first, but after two weeks of hoping Carriedo would stop making him feel so wrong, Lovino started to regret it.

"Oh, well. I guess you must return to your chores then." Carriedo said, sighing, and putting the guitar away, near the piano. Lovino stopped in his tracks, turned to look at Carriedo, and raised one eyebrow. Carriedo smiled at him. "I'm really being an egoist!", he laughed, Lovino wanted to punch him, "You work here after all, and I'm your boss, not your teacher!"

"Right." Lovino said, pouting, "Damn, right." He made to the door, suddenly remembered the Matron was waiting for him on the other side, and returned back. "How do you play that fucking note again?"

Carriedo laughed, took the guitar back in his arms and showed Lovino once more.

"I was a difficult kid like you, when I was your age." Carriedo said, as Lovino put his fingers back on the cords. "But, hell, I never cursed as much as you do."

Lovino scoffed, and Carriedo laughed once more. Lovino didn't know why, but Carriedo liked to tell stupid things like that to him, information that had no sense whatsoever. Every comment of Carriedo seemed inappropriate, out of the blue, and it had nothing to do with what they were doing. Lovino learned to ignore him, but the Matron taught him that it would be better if he just said "Yes, Mr. Carriedo", without adding a curse word, she would reprimand immediately afterwards, as a response to whatever their master would say or order.

Lovino never did, of course, but that day he felt too happy for getting the 'La' right, and decided to just dare.

"Yes, Mr. Carriedo." Lovino said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Lovino immediately realized that the phrase sounded too stupid said from his mouth, and swore he wasn't going to say it ever again. He didn't expect his words to have such a reaction, though. Carriedo stilled, and Lovino had to look behind him to see if his boss was still breathing.

"Please, don't call me Mr. Carriedo." Carriedo said, with a smile, after regaining composure again. Lovino raised an eyebrow and just shrugged. "Call me Antonio."

It was Lovino's time to still. His eyes became wide as saucers and let go of the guitar, which fell soundly on the floor. Lovino tried to immediately get on his feet, let out some curse words and made to the door.

"I-I must go." Lovino said. He didn't dare looking behind at Carriedo, and, for once, he was happy when the Matron suddenly opened the door to the studio. Lovino looked up at the Matron, who looked at him in confusion first, then at Carriedo behind him.

"I hope he hadn't been slacking around, Mr. Carriedo." The Matron said, ugly and serious as ever. Lovino didn't look behind him to see Carriedo's reaction:

"No, everything had been fine."

"Good. I suppose then that this room is clean." The Matron said, and then looked down at Lovino once more. "You have to clean the ballroom now. Seeing is the master's birthday soon, the whole mansion must be spotless before Saturday."

"Oh, yeah. My birthday!" Carriedo laughed, and Lovino finally dared to look at him, confused. Carriedo was grinning openly, still holding the guitar in his arms. "Have the invitations been sent?"

"Of course, Mr. Carriedo." The Matron said, "And everyone is looking forwards to it." With that she grabbed Lovino's shoulder and escorted him outside. She closed the door and then looked down at Lovino.

"Has he been touching you or looking at you weirdly?" The Matron asked, almost whispered, and Lovino raised his eyebrows. The Matron said so with her coldest tone of voice she had, but her eyes betrayed her real emotions. Lovino didn't know whether to take the Matron's interest in a good or in a bad way, but he decided to tell her half of the truth anyway.

"No, not really." Lovino said. The Matron nodded and started to walk away. Lovino knew he had to follow her. "Why?" he dared to ask.

"You look pale." The Matron promptly answered, and then added nothing to the matter. Lovino put a hand on his chest and felt his heart still pounding hard against it. He silently cursed the older boy, for making him feel so strange and wrong, and then suddenly remembered he had the whole ballroom to clean, and groaned in displeasure.

He didn't know Carriedo had his birthday soon and wondered what kind of people were going to attend the party. Then he wondered what would happen if Lovino ever had a birthday party of his own, before remembering he didn't even know the day he was born in the first place.

The preparations for Carriedo's birthday were exhausting. Cleaning the ballroom was the worst, but at least he wasn't alone like the first time he had stepped into the big room. A dozen of maids were running up and down the area, decorating the room, washing the floors with him, changing the curtains, cleaning the big windows, and putting two rows of tables and chairs on each side of the room. Even Nathan, the gardener, came to help them, as he was the stronger slave in the mansion. Lovino was glad when Nathan was with him: the older man helped the boy by doing the hardest jobs in Lovino's place, without the Matron's consent, and let him have his much deserved moments of rest.

When Saturday came, everything was just as the Matron expected it to be. The morning she looked incredibly giddy and barked the same orders she had been barking all week in a much more excited manner.

"And remember." She pointed out once more, "You are not allowed to show yourself. Only the maids that are going to serve the guests can attend the party. Is that clear?" She said, shooting a murderous look at Lovino, who fought the urge to stick his tongue out at her at that.

Saturday morning Lovino and Bella started baking an enormous cake. Lovino was shocked at the amount of wheat, eggs, and bananas they were using for it.

"Who is going to eat all that?" Lovino exclaimed suddenly. Bella laughed.

"There is going to be a lot of people, you know." She said, mixing in a big bowl the eggs with the sugar.

"And the bananas?" Lovino asked then.

"It's the master's favorite fruit."

"That guy is fucking crazy." Lovino just said, reaching to take one and eat it. Bella slapped his hand, disapproving.

"Well, you seem to enjoy your time with him anyway." She teased then, her lips stretching up in a smile. Lovino abruptly turned to look at her, opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of the water, before he started to violently blush.

"W-who told you that?" Lovino exclaimed, and Bella laughed.

"So it's true?"

"Of course not!" Lovino started whisking the eggs with much more vigor than necessary and hid his face from Bella. "I just enjoy the fact the Matron fucking leaves me alone when he is with me."

"Oh, is that so…" Bella said. They continued working in silence, before Bella suddenly remembered something.

"Speaking of which, when is _your_ birthday?"

That made Lovino stop in his tracks, and he stared at the bowl in his hands, pensive.

"I don't really know." He honestly said, "I know I must be… ten or eleven years old now, but I don't know when I was born exactly."

"Oh." Bella said, suddenly sad. "I'm sorry."

"W-well…" Lovino glanced at her, and then continued from where he left. "I know when my brother's birthday is, though." He added then, almost whispering. Bella seemed to light up at that.

"When's that?"

"The 17th March." Lovino said.

"We should make that your birthday too!" Bella said, excited, "It's a wonderful idea! So you can celebrate and remember your brother too! You'll always know that your brother is somewhere in this world, somehow celebrating with you! Isn't that beautiful? It's like you are connected!"

"R-right… yeah…" Lovino said, but he didn't look as enthusiastic as Bella was.

All that talking about his birthday put Lovino in a bad mood for the rest of the day, even if he tried with all his might not to show Bella so. Lovino silently did his chores, but the more he thought about what was going to happen in the evening, the more he hated Carriedo for knowing when he was born, while he needed to take his brother's birthday as reference.

The hating reached such levels that, when evening came, Lovino decided to screw the Matron and go peek in the ballroom, just to spite her and, hopefully, spoil the happy atmosphere the party surely would have. It was when Bella was too focused in decorating the meat with some kind of berries, that Lovino sneaked out of the kitchens and ran the stairs up to the ballroom.

He immediately heard classic music playing loudly and the chatters of hundreds of people speaking made him dizzy. Lovino noticed a maid pushing a cart open one of the big wooden doors, and Lovino immediately grabbed the opportunity and stepped inside the ballroom immediately behind her.

The sight before him shocked him.

The ballroom was almost unrecognizable: the lamps hanging from the ceiling gave the room a soave light, and the decorations Lovino too had helped putting on, made everything look much luxurious. Lovino's hate turned up a notch and he looked down at all the food he had help making served on the big wooden tables. Lovino's stomach started grumbling, and he looked around him to see if anyone had noticed his presence yet.

His heart stopped when he saw the aristocratic man that had taken Feliciano with him play the piano on the furthest end of the room. Lovino's mind started spinning, and suddenly noticed the beautiful woman with the green eyes that had accompanied that same man, dancing with another noble boy some steps away from him.

Lovino decided this could be his chance to ask the bastard what had happened to Feliciano. He made a bee line to where the man, Roderich, he suddenly remembered, was playing, but before he could reach his goal, someone grabbed him by the shirt and held him still.

"Well, well, look what we have here!" said someone behind him, and Lovino abruptly turned around to look at the man holding him in fear. The man was tall, with long blond hair and blue eyes. He was smiling at him in a way Lovino didn't like at all, and he immediately started looking around him for a way out. "You are not a guest, are you?" the man said, raising his eyebrows and checking him up and down. His accent was strange, the twinkling in his eyes was even worse, and Lovino wanted to scream for Carriedo to come and save him.

"What's going on, Francis?" someone asked then, and Lovino looked up to see a man much scarier than the blond. Lovino's breath hitched as he stared into red eyes, and made a step back away from the albino. "An intruder?", the second, paler man said, and cocked his head to the side, grinning all the while. "Or one of Antonio's maids?"

"I work here." Lovino said immediately, his eyes still darting right and left for a way out. "I-I must go now." He added then and made to step aside, when the blond man named Francis grabbed his shoulder once more.

"Hold your horses, lad!" the albino man said, laughing, "The party just started! Don't you want to have some fun before returning to your boring chores?"

"Come on, Gilbert. Let's just let him go." Francis said, still holding him. "Don't you see his is scared shitless?"

"I!" Lovino's eyes widened and he tightened his hands into fists. He was angry. "I'm not scared, bastards! Now let me go! I don't fucking care about this party at all! So…!"

The two men just laughed.

"Feisty one, aren't you?" Francis said, then he leaned closer, making Lovino shut up for good.

"But because you are cute, we are going to forgive you for calling us bastards." Gilbert added with a grin. Lovino glanced at him, but Gilbert's face was too scary to look at for more than a second. Lovino stared deeply into those blue eyes instead and gulped. He didn't like them, at all, and he hoped Bella would turn up soon. Suddenly he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, pulling him away from Francis' lecherous smile.

"Stop scaring him, Francis, Gilbert." A voice behind him said, and Lovino looked up to meet Antonio's contained smile. Lovino never felt happier to see him, as Antonio pulled him even closer to the point Lovino could feel him breathing behind him. He looked up once more to see if Antonio was angry at him for breaking in the party, but the young man seemed calm, almost happy he was there. Lovino had to double-check to finally realize that that smile wasn't directed at him, but at Francis and Gilbert, and that it wasn't a happy smile at all.

"Is he the new maid you had written us about, Antonio?" Francis said, smiling and glancing down at Lovino now and then. Lovino felt Antonio's hands on his shoulder tightening their grasp.

"Yes, and please, stop tormenting him." Antonio said, his tone of voice betraying something akin to a threat. Gilbert scoffed and shrugged, but Francis kept smiling.

"Is he _good_?" Francis said. Lovino thought he missed the double meaning somewhere. "Lovino, isn't it?" he asked then, directed at Lovino this time. Lovino honestly hated the way the other pronounced his name.

"Yes." Antonio said and kept smiling. Francis nodded and smiled back at Antonio. Gilbert kept staring at the three of them, and then his eyes stopped to where Lovino was standing.

"He is really cute, as you said." Gilbert said.

"I-I'm not cute, fucking bastard!" Lovino exclaimed then, finding his courage back, now that Carriedo was standing behind him. Gilbert snorted.

"If only he didn't cuss so much…" Gilbert trailed off, "You know? The one that Roderich has is much cuter and much more willing to be hugged."

Lovino's heart started racing and he stared at Gilbert for a while, before understanding what exactly he had said.

"Feliciano? You know him? How is he? Is he okay?"

Gilbert looked at him, confused, and Lovino shut up once more.

"Boring." Francis said, looking at Gilbert. "It's much more satisfying when you fight for a hug, you know?"

"Whatever." Gilbert shrugged, "Still, it's easier if the other doesn't squirm away from you every time you touch them."

"But that's where all the _excitement_ comes from, no?" Francis said, smiling. Gilbert laughed and slapped the other on the back. Lovino thought he was missing the point. Antonio's hands were still on his shoulders and Lovino looked up at him in question. Carriedo noticed him staring and smiled reassuringly.

"Anyway, Antonio." Francis said, turning his attention back to his tanned friend. "Will you ever let me borrow him sometimes?", he smiled at Lovino, "It's surely going to be so much fun!"

"He's mine." Antonio suddenly said, pulling Lovino even closer. Francis' face fell at that but he regained composure almost immediately. He smiled at Lovino, who looked away, and then nodded at Antonio. "He must go now. I'll be with you in a moment." Carriedo said then, and pushed him away from the dancing crowd. Lovino dared to glance at the two men once more, before following Antonio out of the ballroom. When they were finally away, Antonio leaned against a wall, and sighed loudly. Lovino was sure the other was going to scream at him at any moment, hit him, but nothing of that happened. Carriedo wasn't the Matron, after all.

"That was close, huh?" Antonio said and laughed. Lovino just stared at him, incredulous. When the laugher died out, Antonio looked at him and Lovino blushed.

"I…I…"

"I'm happy you came, Lovino." Antonio said, "But it would have been better if you informed me first." He glanced behind him at the wooden doors, and then smiled at Lovino. "Next time I'll ask the Matron for you to attend the party like a normal person."

"I don't fucking care about your idiotic parties, Mr. Carriedo." Lovino spat then.

"What did I tell you about the name?" Carriedo just said instead. Lovino looked at him, looked down and ran away back to the kitchens, where Bella was waiting for him, worried he had done something stupid.

The next day everything returned back to normal. The Matron didn't say to Lovino anything about the past evening escapade, and Lovino was glad Antonio hadn't informed her about it. Lovino and all the maids in the household cleaned the mansion all day long. To Lovino it seemed they had to do the same exact job they did the week before, only in reverse. However it was much more tiring than before and somewhere past midday, after lunch, Lovino felt too exhausted to do anything more. He decided then to sneak out in the back garden and hid himself in the log house for the rest of the day.

When he checked the back garden was clear, he ran down to where the log house was, checked once more behind him, stepped in and laid down. He let out a sigh of relief and sooner than he thought he could, immediately fell asleep.

He was woken up by someone suddenly opening the doors. No sunlight hit his eyes and Lovino suddenly felt someone nudge him awake.

"Lovi?" someone called softly. Lovino abruptly stood up and stared at somewhere on his left. It was dark, probably it was already time for dinner, and it took a lot for Lovino to realize who was talking to him.

"Huh?" Lovino rubbed his eyes and checked again: it was Antonio. "Oh, damn!" he exclaimed, afraid Antonio was going to scold him for slacking off.

"The Matron is searching for you." Antonio said, with a big grin, kneeling down to Lovino's eye level, "It's great I found you first, right?"

"I—!" Lovino tried to find something to justify himself, but Antonio just waved his right hand at him, nonchalantly, and then raised his other hand up to Lovino's face.

"Look!" Antonio said and Lovino finally noticed the little bag Antonio was carrying with him, "They are some kind of seeds. It's a vegetable named…" Antonio thought about it, "… tomato or something. Never heard of it."

"Me neither. Where did you get it?" Lovino asked then, suddenly curious.

"A friend gave it to me as a birthday present. Weird, isn't it?" Antonio laughed. Lovino shrugged and decided it would be better if he pretended he didn't care.

"Who cares."

"Anyway." Antonio said, not at all let down by Lovino's attitude, "I want to give them to you." And put the little bag in Lovino's hands. Lovino stared at it for a long, incredulous moment and then looked up at Antonio again. "You love to stay in the back garden, so if you have this…" and he pointed at the seeds in the bag, "…to take care of because I ordered you to, the Matron would never bother you for passing most of your time here."

"Ah…" Lovino was shocked. He pulled the bag closer to himself and then slightly blushed, "I… well… t-thanks, Antonio."

"You are welcome!" Antonio beamed, stood up and returned back to the mansion.


	5. Chapter 5

For one slightest moment, Lovino really thought he could just throw the seeds away and pretend he had been trying to make them grow, but to no success, so he could make Antonio happy and not work at the same time. Nevertheless, he knew that the Matron would surely notice that the earth hadn't been ploughed once, and that meant he was in for a big trouble. Lovino knew that Antonio's idea of avoiding the Matron was a great idea and he couldn't wait to act on it. Moreover, he too was curious to know what a tomato was, but he really wasn't in the mood to become a cropper to find that out. When he remembered that, if his father had been alive, he would have become one anyway, Lovino finally made up his mind and asked Nathan for a piece of land to sow his little seeds.

Nathan looked quite surprised at that, but he showed Lovino to the farthest corner of the back garden, where the log house was, where they once grew zucchini.

"You can start growing your plants here." Nathan said, "The soil is good, and I have started growing the zucchini in another part of the garden, so it doesn't really matter."

Lovino thanked, and, helped by Nathan, sowed his seeds in the earth. There were plenty of them, and when they were finally over, the little bag Antonio had given him was still half full. He closed it well and stored it in the log house just in case.

At first, no matter how much Lovino tended to the earth, there was no sign of change whatsoever.

"It's probably too early." Nathan said, "I heard of this tomato before, and they told me it's a summer fruit or something, so you just have to wait."

And Lovino waited. In the meantime, he kept doing his housework and helped Bella in the kitchens, while Antonio continued teaching him guitar when the Matron wasn't present. Antonio always smiled brightly at him whenever he showed up. As they played guitar together, Antonio talked to him about his family, about his cousin that seemed to hate him a lot, and about his friends and how they had met. Antonio was always cheerful and his laugh made Lovino feel weird in the stomach.

When summer arrived, the first tomato plants started to show. At first they were small and looked more like weed than anything, but then, day by day, they grew to an incredible height and Lovino was amazed to realize that this was all his doing. It made him feel important. He had finally achieved something in his life. The green plants needed sticks to stay straight, and every time Lovino touched one of the big leaves a strange but pleasant aroma would fill the air and stay on his fingers. For a big period of time, Lovino wondered if the tomato was just the plant, after all, but then, when the first little yellow flowers turned into little green round fruits, he understood that they had been waiting for that all along.

"Are they ready?" he asked once. Nathan turned his nose up at the green fruit.

"I thought tomatoes were red."

"Does that mean they are not ready? Fuck."

One day Lovino went to check his little garden out and to his surprise noticed how all the vegetables had turned juicy red. His heart started pounding in happiness as he took one of them in his hands and gave a bite. It was delicious. It was indescribably delicious. He didn't know something that looked so stupid, could be this tasty. He grabbed another one, and without thinking he started running inside the mansion, up the stairs, up to where Antonio usually read a book at that time of the day.

He literally slammed the door open, startling Antonio, and raised the vegetable up in the air.

"Look! Look!" he was on cloud nine, his mouth was still dirty with the tomato's juice, but he couldn't care less. "This is a tomato!"

Antonio raised an eyebrow, moved to where Lovino was standing, grinning like a madman, and took the little red tomato from Lovino's hands. Antonio stared at it for a long moment, distrustful, then, under Lovino's hopeful gaze, bit into it. Lovino stared at him. Antonio stared at Lovino.

"Oh, my God." Was all Antonio could say.

Lovino grinned. It was official: the tomato was going to be his favorite vegetable in the whole world.

The ideas on how to use it came one by one. At first he thought they could eat it like that: raw, with just a little salt to enhance it's flavor. Then Lovino thought they could cook it, use it in the pasta they usually ate when there was nothing else to eat, make sauces out of it, or eat it with bread and fried eggs. All his ideas were a success and Bella was thrilled by the chance in their boring menu. All were excited about it, even the Matron, even if she didn't look like it.

But what Lovino cared the most, what made him the happiest, was Antonio eating all that he cooked, appreciate it, and compliment Lovino about it. It was what made Lovino's stomach churn pleasurably, and when it happened Lovino would smile in secret for hours on end.

Soon enough his little tomato field doubled in width, became much bigger and by the end of summer the tomatoes covered the eastern wall's facade. In the cellar, rows and rows tomato's jar waited to be used in a way or another.

When he wasn't occupied in the garden, and Bella didn't need help, the Matron would immediately take him away to clean or dust every room she could think of. If it hadn't been for the tomatoes, the routine would have made Lovino crazy.

When he turned thirteen, though, he noticed that the Matron was slowly becoming less commanding, as if she was afraid that something would happen if she dared raise her voice.

"It must because you are getting tall." Bella laughed. "Look, you are starting to outgrow your clothes."

It was true. Lovino checked himself once in the mirror and noticed with delight that he was much taller than he used to be. He could almost reach Bella's high now. His face was still round, but it was starting to lose that baby feel on it, and he liked the fact he was looking more like his father by the day. He almost couldn't wait to shave for the first time.

The major changed started when Antonio Carriedo, master of the mansion, finally turned eighteen. Eighteen years old Antonio, officially a grown-up now, officially became the real master of the mansion, and he was in charge of everything that went around in his house and in the fields he owned. A privilege only the Matron had until that day.

The Matron suddenly couldn't annoy the shit out of Lovino anymore. She suddenly became a simple servant of the house, and she hadn't anymore power over them anymore. It was now Antonio's turn to keep an eye on them, and decide which of the servants remained and who left, who needed a punishment and who didn't. Of course, Antonio hadn't that much time on his hands, and more than once the Matron pressured him to give her old tasks back. Antonio let her be his eyes, ears and mouth for the rest of the servants, but not for Lovino, which he would take care of himself and for which Lovino was really grateful.

Mr. Cricket suddenly disappeared from the scene too as Antonio's education was over. He could now read and write formal documents and estimate the outcomes and incomes from his fields. Mr. Cricket was no longer of use, and, even if he kept returning to visit his favorite pupil for the first couple of weeks after Antonio's birthday, he suddenly stopped coming all together.

Lovino, so accustomed to see Antonio and Mr. Cricket scribbling nonsense on the blackboard every afternoon, suddenly found Antonio alone in his studio, surrounded by papers and receiving visitors at every hour of the day.

Most of the time the visitors were somebody Lovino had already seen, like Antonio's friends: Gilbert and Francis. When that happened, Lovino wasn't allowed in Antonio's studio anymore, and Antonio would disappear from sight for hours and hours on end. Sometimes, though, the visitors were people Lovino had never seen.

One of the worst had been a big guy dressed with strange clothes and wearing a mask over his eyes. He was strange and scary and the first time Lovino saw him, the man had stared at him long and scrutinizing, his lips quivering up in a terrifying grin. Lovino had run away immediately after.

"He is Sadik Adnan." Bella had told him once, "He owns hectares and hectares of land on the other side of the sea and he is one of the most powerful men nowadays, as powerful as Carriedo is."

"What about the mask?"

"They say he has some awful scars around his eyes, but I don't really know. I think he is a good looking guy and just puts that thing on to scare people."

Lovino agreed with her until he caught Sadik sitting outside of Antonio's room without his mask on one day. Lovino immediately noticed that his eyes were perfectly fine, and that there were no scars whatsoever on his face. However, as soon as Sadik noticed him, his eyes pierced him in a way that felt much scarier than when he had his mask on. Lovino stilled on the spot. Sadik leaned on one of his hands and stared at him, cocking his head to the side, curious.

"You are Antonio's servant, no?" he said. Lovino stared at him and made a step backwards. Sadik grinned: "Lovino, isn't that right?", he slurred, amused.

Lovino wondered how Sadik knew his name, but didn't want to enquire further. He just wanted to scream and run away. Sadik suddenly stood up and made to get closer, but, in that moment, Antonio's door slammed open and Antonio suddenly appeared in the hallway. He looked annoyed but when he noticed Sadik and Lovino before his door, his face turned spiteful.

"Sadik." Antonio commanded. Lovino looked up at Antonio, and Antonio glanced at him for a moment before he turned to look at the other man again. "Come in"

Sadik shrugged and followed Antonio inside his room. Lovino felt his heard speed up, and suddenly feeling courageous, pressed his ear against the wooden door. He couldn't hear a word they said, just snippets of conversation that had no sense whatsoever. Lovino suddenly gave up and decided to return back to the kitchens. He was already climbing down the stairs, when, suddenly, Antonio started shouting from the other side of the door. Lovino turned around, startled.

Lovino had never seen Antonio angry and he never thought Antonio could be angry at all. Antonio's voice was terrifying and Lovino wondered what exactly had pushed the other guy over the edge. Suddenly curious, he made some steps nearer to Antonio's studio and listened:

"I'll never agree to a thing like that…!"

"Forget it!"

"Fuck you, I'll never…!"

"I don't need…!"

Lovino thought he heard something break, but before he could press his ear to the wooden door to hear better, he heard Sadik say:

"FINE! You are the one losing this battle, Carriedo. Your father would be so proud of you, giving up a fortune because you can't let go of something so unimportant."

Lovino knew in that moment that Sadik was leaving the room, and he took it as a clue to hide. As he had predicted, a moment later Sadik slammed the door open and stormed outside. Antonio followed him and leaned against the door, fuming. When Sadik disappeared down the stairs, Antonio groaned and run a hand through his hair.

"Fuck it." Antonio whispered, loud enough for Lovino to hear. "Fuck it. I did the right thing." He said once more. Antonio's hands were tightened into fists, and his face was red with anger. After a moment Antonio returned back to his room, slamming the doors once more behind him.

Lovino stared at the wooden doors for a moment longer and then ran down the stairs to where Bella was. He helped the cook out for the rest of the day, but he couldn't concentrate on any task. Antonio's anger, Sadik's words kept twirling around in his head, making him dizzy. He was curious. Curious and fascinated. Curious about what had triggered that reaction in Antonio. Fascinated by Antonio's face when angry.

Lovino thought that Antonio, who always been the cheerful one, was terrifying when angry. But, at the same time, he looked really handsome. Lovino slapped himself.

Antonio didn't leave his room for two days after Sadik had left the mansion. To say the Matron was worried was an understatement. She went up and down the hallway, knocked on Antonio's door, asked him if he was okay, stepped inside the room and left just a couple of minutes later. Lovino was asked to follow her sometimes, others he just remained behind in the kitchens. Bella had no idea what was going on, and just blamed everything on money and business.

"He will get over it." She said. "You see, business is like that. Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win and sometimes even the most incredible offers are not acceptable. Whatever Sadik told him, it surely drove Antonio over the edge."

"I never saw him like that." Lovino just said. "He was _really_ angry."

"One can't always be cheerful." Bella just answered matter of fact-ly.

Lovino supposed she was right, but he always thought Antonio was like his brother: stupid, insufferable and always with a smile on their face. He never thought he could show any anger. Lovino felt shivers run down his spines as he remembered Antonio's face when he was fighting with Sadik.

"Probably someone should cheer him up!" Bella said with a smile. She stirred something in a pot and then patted Lovino on the head. He slapped her hand away and she laughed: "Stop looking so serious! He'll be back!"

Lovino scoffed, told her that he didn't fucking care about Antonio's mood, and returned to the task at hand. Bella's words had struck a cord, though, and, later that evening, he wondered if Antonio really did need someone to cheer him up. Lovino thought that the only thing that could cheer the idiot up was his guitar, so he decided to sneak into Antonio's studio, take the guitar and leave it before his room. Antonio would find it and he would be happy again. Simply as that.

Lovino supposed it would be better for everyone if Antonio stopped sulking, and made to act on his plan. When he arrived at the studio and slowly opened the door, though, he didn't find the room as empty as he had hoped.

Antonio was there, gulping down something from a bottle. He looked a mess: it was clear that something was eating him from the inside. The room wasn't in a better state. There was broken glass everywhere and everything smelled of alcohol.

Lovino thought he should leave but when he made a step backwards, the wooden floor creaked, alerting Antonio of his presence. Lovino squeaked when Antonio suddenly turned to look at him. Lovino stared into green eyes and waited for him to shout, but Antonio just smiled.

"Oh, Lovino." He said, slurring his words a little. "Come here."

The tone was commanding, desperate even, and Lovino looked out in the hall to see if the Matron was there lurking somewhere, but he was alone. Alone with Antonio. Lovino hoped for the better and stepped into the room, his heart racing as he did so. Antonio waited for him and put the bottle away.

"Antonio?" Lovino asked. Antonio was walking funny as he made his way to where Lovino was, and leaned down to Lovino's eye level.

"S-Sadik is a bastard." Lovino said, not taking the staring much more. "You… well… you… shouldn't…"

"You care." Antonio said, grinning, and suddenly hugged him close. Lovino tried to break free but it was no use: Antonio was much stronger. Antonio reeked of alcohol and Lovino had a bad feeling about what was going to happen.

"I don't fucking care." Lovino exclaimed instead, "You are drunk and I need to take something from here… I…!"

"Do you know what Sadik wanted?" Antonio cut him, whispering the words directly in his ears. Lovino felt something churn in the pit of his stomach and remained still. "I bought something from him, and he told me to give you as a payment."

"M-me?" Lovino suddenly felt sick: Antonio was pulling him even closer, the hands darting down to where Lovino's backbone was.

"Yes…" Antonio slurred the words. Lovino wanted to run away. He didn't' recognize this Antonio and it was starting to frighten him. "You."

Lovino suddenly felt Antonio's fingers on his bare skin. He suddenly made a step backwards, but Antonio held him.

"But you are mine." Antonio suddenly said. Lovino couldn't see the other's face but his voice betrayed his anger.

"L-let me go…" Lovino suddenly whimpered and tried to push Antonio away. He was petrified. He knew where this was going. Antonio's hand sneaked under his shirt. Lovino wanted to scream, but no sound came out.

"You're mine." Antonio ignored him.

"L-let me go!" Lovino suddenly shouted, and punched Antonio directly on the face. The punch wasn't powerful, but it was enough to make Antonio look at him confused. Lovino's head was spinning around, his heart was racing against his chest, and he felt like puking. He suddenly remembered The Matron's words, that first time he saw Antonio, and suddenly felt angry.

How stupid of him to think…!

"Go away." Antonio suddenly whispered, and Lovino turned to look at him, shocked. Antonio turned his back at him and took the bottle in his hand.

"I-I…"

"Go. Away." Antonio shouted, and Lovino ran away, as fast as his legs could carry him.


	6. Chapter 6

"What is wrong with you, Lovino?" Bella said, trying to pull the covers away from Lovino's face, but the boy just held them closer and shot her a murderous look.

That was going on since the sun had risen. Bella had tried to get Lovino out of his makeshift bed since morning, but the boy just complained and made her life more difficult at any attempt.

Bella wondered if she was her fault. She had complied at first and had cooked all on her on, but then, when she returned back to hers and Lovino's room, she noticed that the boy had fallen asleep again. Maybe she was spoiling him too much.

"You _have_ to come down to the kitchen! _Right now_! Now that the master is finally out of his room, you can't stay in bed all day long!", Bella tried again, more commanding this time.

"Why not?" Lovino spat venomously, pulling the covers up on his head. Bella was taken aback by the question and stared at Lovino, opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of the water.

"Because… because…"

"Get up now, Lovino." Nathan suddenly commanded, and Lovino peeked from under the covers at the older man. Bella had asked for the gardener to come and help her out, as she suddenly realized she hadn't enough strength against the stubborn boy.

"I fucking don't want." Lovino said, inflexible. "As long as that bastard lives, I'm going to stay here!"

Nathan and Bella shared a long, worried look, and then sighed almost in unison. Bella rose a fine, blond eyebrow and crouched down to Lovino's eye level.

"Did something happen?" she asked, almost a whisper, and Lovino used all his willpower not to start crying. He shook his head with vigor and as if to end the matter there, he turned his back to her.

"If something happened, you can tell us." Nathan added.

"Nothing fucking happened." Lovino exclaimed, "Nothing! I _just_ want to stay here. Forever."

Bella sighed and Lovino felt her stand up and go down to where the kitchens were. On the other hand, Nathan remained where he was. There was a long moment of silence, broken by the sound of someone lighting a cigarette.

"Bella is worried sick about you." Nathan said then, taking a drag.

"I-I don't care…" Lovino said, inconvincibly. Nathan sighed. The smell of cigar filled the room and Lovino coughed.

"I am too." Nathan said, waving his hand to disperse the smokes.

"I…" Lovino stopped. He looked down at the floor, then sighed and stood up from the bed in a sitting position. "Just for the record. Nothing fucking happened."

"I believe you." Nathan said.

"Nothing…" Lovino said, noticing then how tightly he was holding the sheets. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. It was difficult. Antonio's drunken look, the other's hands on his body, the anger in those green eyes, everything twisted inside his head as every image tried to take the another picture's place over and over again. Lovino shuddered. He didn't know what was worse: the fact Antonio had tried to touch him, the fact that Antonio smiled to him, or the fact Antonio ordered him to go away when he realized what he was doing. Only a thing was certain: he didn't want to experience that ever again. He wanted to stay by Bella side and not leave it until Antonio died. But that wouldn't do, would it?

He was still a servant of that mansion. He had no way of escape. If Antonio asked for him, he _had _to say yes.

Lovino bit down a tear, and again wondered what his brother was doing, if he was in a shitty situation as Lovino was. For the slightest of moments he really hoped so, but then erased the thought almost immediately. Feliciano wasn't the strong one: he wouldn't survive the pressure.

"The Matron had been asking for you since morning." Nathan said, pushing Lovino out of his thoughts. Lovino dried his wet cheeks with his shirt's sleeves and turned to look at Nathan, determined.

"I don't give a damn." Lovino said, his voice breaking just the slightest. Nathan shook his head and then stomped on his unfinished cigarette.

"You are going to get in serious trouble, you know that?"

Lovino hoped he would. If the Matron scolded him, hit him to unconsciousness for his disobedience, he would have a whole day to himself in bed, out of Antonio's sight. He would be hurting all over, but he really thought it would be worth it in the end.

"She is going to come here any minute now." Nathan added.

"I don't fucking care, let that bitch come!" Lovino suddenly exclaimed. As if The Matron had been waiting to say so, Lovino and Nathan heard her voice coming down from where the kitchens were.

"Where is that boy?" The Matron shouted. "I told him to come upstairs hours now! Where is he?"

"He is in our room." Bella said, "He will be ready in a moment."

The Matron scoffed and made a bee line to where Bella and Lovino's room was: some kind of loft directly situated above the kitchens. She climbed up the wooden stairs, mumbling to herself as she did so, and suddenly stopped when he noticed Nathan stare down at her.

"You are not supposed to be here!" the Matron exclaimed, "Don't slack off! Go or else I'll tell the master you've been neglecting the garden again!"

"Yes, miss." Nathan said, but didn't move, probably trying to hide the cigarette under his shoe. The matron shot him a murderous look and then turned her attention to Lovino.

"You!" and grabbed his arm. Lovino tried to shake her off, but the Matron's nails dug into his skin, making him cry with pain. "Up! Up!" she shouted and violently pulled him out of the bed. He tried to bite her hands, scratch her, kick her, but every effort of his was pointless, and his dream of finally be let alone slowly vanished.

"You have to clean the master's studio!" the Matron said, climbing down the stairs with difficulty, as Lovino made everything he could to make her life difficult. "Yesterday…", the Matron stopped, slapped Lovino's hands and continued: "… there had been an accident and most things now there are either broken or… well broken. You need to make everything shine again, is that understood?"

"I don't want, bitch! Leave me the fuck alone!" Lovino suddenly shouted. The Matron shot him a look but didn't let go of him.

"You do as I said. Is that clear?", the Matron shouted, angrily. Lovino spitted at her, but followed her out of the kitchens anyway. His arms hurt and there was blood under his nails, but nothing compared to his heart beating faster at any step they made closer to the studio. When they were finally before the doors, Lovino swore he would die.

The doors to the studio were opened and Lovino understood the meaning behind the Matron's words. Everything in there was upside down, and even the guitar was broken into a half. There were broken glass everywhere and some books were now almost unreadable. It would take years to make everything shine again.

Sitting down on the sofa, Antonio was staring down at one of his still intact books, looking deep in thought. When the Matron coughed to show her presence, Antonio looked up at them and immediately stood up.

Lovino unconsciously made a step backwards. He imagined Antonio make some kind of remark about yesterday, say how sad it was they hadn't finished what he started, but Antonio did nothing of the sort. He looked at him, for a long moment, and then suddenly smiled in embarrassment.

"I don't really know what happened yesterday!" Antonio said, laughing a little. "It's like a tornado came into my room, isn't this funny?"

Lovino stared unbelievably at him, and then up at the Matron, who didn't look that surprised.

"The sad thing is that… when I came here… the guitar was broken too. I must have stepped on it by mistake." Antonio let out a sigh, "I loved that guitar…"

Lovino wondered if Antonio was mad. Has he really forgotten all about the day before? Has he forgotten about Lovino too?

"I already notified to bring you a new one." The Matron said. "Now if you could please leave the studio. The boy needs to clean the mess."

"Oh, yeah. Of course." Antonio said, cheerful as ever. Then he looked at Lovino and smiled brightly. "You don't mind to be left here alone?"

Lovino stared at him straight in the eyes and suddenly realized that Antonio had not forgotten, he had just decided to ignore it all. Lovino didn't know how he knew, it was just a feeling, but he was sure that it was the truth. A mix of conflicting emotions filled his chest in that moment. He was confused. He was relieved, he was sad, he was embarrassed… he was furious. Is that how this going to be? Antonio would almost molest him and then pretend nothing had happened? Who did he think he was? Didn't he realize he had feelings too? Was he so sure he wasn't going to react? That he wasn't going to talk? The bastard. The fucking bastard.

"No, I don't." he said through gritted teeth. Antonio touched his head for the slightest of moments, and that made Lovino even angrier. He took the cleaning material the Matron gave to him, and then waited patiently for the two of them to leave.

When he was finally alone, he made sure that the studio became unrecognizable.

When the Matron came to see how he was doing, to say she was furious would be an understatement. She beat him to a pulp, and, by the time she was finished, he was sure his wrist was strained.

The next day the Matron ordered him to clean the halls. Lovino broke all the vases instead. The Matron beat him again.

The next, he was supposed to clean the windows. He broke one. Another beating.

Whenever he encountered Antonio smiling naively at him, the anger in his heart turned up a notch. Clean. Break. Beat. Clean. Break. Beat. Lovino wanted nothing to do with that mansion again. If he could set fire to it, he would do it.

The Matron kept ordering to clean, until one day she ordered to be left alone in the kitchens for weeks and weeks. That had been the most beautiful period of his whole life, one he would almost cherish in his lonely nights. All he had to do was help Bella out, for the rest of the day he could finally sleep in peace.

As all good things, this too had to come to an end.

One morning Bella came to wake him up with tears in her eyes. She told him to get dressed, because the Matron had come to pick him up. Lovino couldn't understand what was going on, but when the Matron came into his room with a satisfied look on her face, he immediately realized that this wasn't a good sign.

In less than ten minutes, Lovino was forced to get dressed and to leave the kitchens, without stopping to ask Bella some sort of explanation. The Matron followed him closely and even refrained Bella from coming with them. When they were finally near the front doors, Lovino decided it was time to make his voice heard.

"Where are we going?" Lovino shouted. The Matron grinned evilly at him.

"Well, _I_ am not going anywhere." She said and pushed him towards the front doors. Lovino remained confused for a moment until he noticed there was someone waiting for them. His breath hitched when he noticed Sadik leaning against one of the walls.

"I brought the boy." The Matron said then, and Sadik nodded, satisfied. The busty woman then handed a bag of money to the other man, and thanked him for what he was going to do.

"He is not easy to handle, so be careful."

"I love challenges, woman. Don't think I'm a wussy like your master."

Lovino was petrified. It took him a second to realize that the Matron was selling him to Sadik, of all people. He looked around him, try to see if Antonio was lurking somewhere, but it was just the three of them.

Did Antonio know of this?

He supposed not, because Antonio wasn't there to tell him goodbye, comment on how cute he was, and to apologize for leaving him with that scary man forever. Or maybe he did. Maybe he did want to get rid of him and was partying somewhere in the mansion.

Only when Sadik grabbed him by the shoulders and unceremoniously lead him to a carriage waiting outside, did Lovino realize that he would never see Antonio again. The thought made him panic.

This was going from bad to worse.

The guards lazily watched them walk to the carriage and made no attempt to stop them. Sadik opened the door and pushed him almost violently inside.

"Don't look so scared, kid." Sadik said, grinning at him, maybe trying hard to look kind. Lovino doubted he would be kind in the future. "Everything is going to be alright."

Lovino doubted that too.

Sadik smiled at him, ruffled his hair and followed him inside the carriage. Lovino's eyes went wide when Sadik tapped the window twice, silently ordering to get going. The carriage jolted forwards and Lovino looked at his right to where the big fountains were. As they slowly disappeared from his vision, Lovino realized that he was doomed.

In the meantime, Antonio was in his studio, trying to put the guitar together. It was no use. In his anger and frustration, he had stepped on it, and now it was gone. Forever. Antonio pouted and sighed, as he looked around at his now spotless studio. It looked like nothing had happened, and he really wished that how things really had went. He wondered then if it that was why Lovino had been acting like a total rebel those past weeks… Antonio should have handled it better. He should have asked for forgiveness. But why would he ask for forgiveness in the first place? He was the master and he was the servant. There was no changing that.

In that moment, the Matron knocked on his door and he welcomed her inside. The Matron looked really pleased with herself, and stood straight and dignified as she told him the news. Antonio couldn't believe his ears. He blinked at the Matron for a long moment before her words had finally sunk in.

"You did _what_?" Antonio exclaimed, unbelievable.

"I sold him to Mr. Adnan, sir." The Matron said, "I know that he was the reason why you turned this room upside down and I strongly believe you should have accepted his offer sooner. The boy was such a nuisance anyway. I know you want him, but the damages provoked are too expensive and he wasn't worth it."

Antonio didn't even regard her with an answer. He just dropped his broken guitar and run outside.

Half an hour had passed after Lovino left the mansion. He could already see the town somewhere in the distance and wondered if he had enough guts to open the door and jump outside to his freedom. Maybe Sadik would be too shocked to react and Lovino could hide in the woods for some days, before he made north, to where his brother was. He could survive the wolves, the hunger and the thirst… he could…

Yeah, right.

He was feverish again.

"At least can you tell me where the fuck you are taking me?"

"To my country." Sadik cut short. "Don't worry, kid. You'll like it."

Lovino doubted it. He looked outside the window again, this time in sadness. He was going to die a slave and he really was scared of what this man was going to do to him. Antonio's intentions had been pretty clear, and now Lovino knew why Antonio had wanted him in the first place. He should have predicted it. He was useless, not good enough to be a cook, or a maid or even a gardener, but good enough to be a… a… he didn't want to think about it. He hoped Sadik wanted him to be just a domestic or something, but the fact Sadik had wanted him so much, make him suspected he and Antonio shared the same opinion of him.

Was he worth so little?

Probably. Surely. There was no doubt about that.

"_LOVINO_!"

Lovino furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Sadik, who was surprised as he was. Suddenly he noticed someone riding a horse at the carriage's speed, and Lovino's heart stopped when he noticed Antonio look at him.

Lovino and Antonio shared a look, and Lovino suddenly reached for the window. Sadik immediately slapped his hand away and Lovino turned to look at him instead.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Sadik shouted, and ordered to go faster. For a moment Antonio was left behind, but in a second he had reached enough speed to surpass the carriage. The horses neighed and the carriage abruptly came to a stop, making Lovino almost fall into Sadik's lap.

"What's going on?" Sadik suddenly barked, pushing Lovino away and trying to look outside. Lovino did the same, confused and with his heart racing in his chest. He managed to see Antonio hopping down from his horse from behind Sadik's shoulders. Sadik said something Lovino didn't get and turned to look at him:

"Don't move." The older man ordered, and then slammed the door open, making a step down to reach Antonio. "What the hell are you doing, bastard of Spaniard? You—!"

Sadik didn't have time to end his sentence that Antonio took a gun out and pointed it straight between Sadik's eyes. The Turk stilled, shocked for a moment, and looked into Antonio's green eyes.

"Give me Lovino, Sadik." Antonio said, calm but commanding, his eyes full with hate. Lovino glanced at Sadik and wondered what the guy would do. Lovino knew that if Sadik did something stupid, nothing would stop Antonio from pulling that trigger. The idea made Lovino's stomach churn in a strange manner, the same way it did when someone falls from his bed.

"I bought him fair and square, lad!" Sadik said, starting to look really angry. "And you know that, if you pull that trigger, you are going to be in a lot of trouble. Your whole life will be ruined. Mark my words."

Antonio remained impassible.

"I'm not going to kill you." Antonio said, "Just give me Lovino back and I'll forget anything happened."

This time Sadik laughed.

"Then you should kill me instead. Because if you don't and I get out of this alive, all commercial relations between us will disappear and I can't do but claim war to your family."

"Claim it, if you want." Antonio said, his finger dangerously getting closer to where the trigger was, "No one came out of a war against me intact. Mark my words." Antonio added then, imitating Sadik's previous words.

"This boy isn't worth it, lad." Sadik laughed again. "Listen to me. I'll take him with me and you'll return back to your wine and guitars. We'll forget everything, and you'll still be rich for a long time."

"If he wasn't worth it, I wouldn't be here." Antonio said, and Sadik's smile dropped. "You need me more than I need you. Remember, more than sixty percent of your profits come from your commerce with me. Are you sure you want to risk that?"

Sadik stared at Antonio for a long moment, then groaned and pushed Lovino roughly out. Lovino squeaked in protest and fell face down on the dirty earth. Antonio immediately put the gun away and kneeled to where Lovino was, checking he was okay.

"Are you hurt?" Antonio said, and for the slightest of moments Lovino didn't care about Antonio's hands on him.

"I'm fine." Lovino cut short and slapped the other away. Sadik snorted and returned back into his carriage.

"Here, take your boy-toy!" Sadik said, "But I'll keep my money, Spaniard. You were lucky this time, but I don't know if next time you'll come out of this alive." He glanced at them and then shouted: "GO!".

The carriage started again and Antonio and Lovino remained still until it finally became a black dot in the distance. When that happened, Antonio sighed and Lovino abruptly realized that the other man had been shaking all the time. Antonio glanced at him, a long, hurt and guilty look, and then he leaned closer to where Lovino was. Lovino stared at him, not knowing what was going to happen.

"I'm sorry, Lovino. I'm really sorry. Please, forgive me."

Lovino was shocked, but he didn't say anything, as Antonio suddenly stood up and got on his horse again. Antonio stretched an arm to him, and Lovino suddenly realized that, if he wanted, he could run in direction to the town and disappear from Antonio's life forever. Antonio's hand was shaking, and Lovino didn't know if he had the strength to run.

Lovino stared at that hand for a long moment, then to where the town was. Suddenly he grabbed that hand and was helped to get on the horse.

"Hold me tight." Antonio said, and Lovino did, for once not in the mood for complaints. Lovino wondered if he had done something stupid, that he made the wrong choice. He felt Antonio's shoulder blades under his cheek and closed his eyes. At least he would see Bella and Nathan again.

Antonio hadn't forgotten what happened and, to make everything worse, he had asked for forgiveness on his knees.

Lovino had granted it.

He hated himself in that moment. He hated Antonio for putting him in such a situation and suddenly realized he couldn't look into the other's eyes anymore. When they returned, under the surprised stares of the guards, Lovino managed to hop off the horse without Antonio's help and run inside, back to his old life.

The next day, he woke up early, much earlier than he used to. Bella was still sleeping when he got outside, up the stairs, up to where Antonio's studio was. As he expected, Antonio was already awake, reading a book. He opened then door and it was with a note of satisfaction that he saw Antonio shake in surprise at his door.

"Lovino… is there something wrong?" Antonio asked. Lovino stared at him, long, sad, but determined. He couldn't look at Antonio anymore. Being with him made him do stupid things, it made his heart ache when it shouldn't, and made him weak, pitiable, a pathetic excuse of a man… he needed to get away from that situation.

"I need to ask something." Lovino asked, trying to suppress his real emotions. He looked at Antonio's green eyes and remembered the pain and the guilt in them the day before.

"What is it?" Antonio said, clearly confused. He let the book down, and Lovino knew that Antonio hadn't slept all night long. He wanted to slap himself, because it was not healthy to just know what the other man felt and said:

"I-I know why you w-want me here. I know why you are acting so fucking good to me. I know, damn it." He stated, he tried to collect himself together and continued: "You showed me so the other day. I must admit I knew… well… the Matron had implied so the first day I came here… so I would be as stupid as you not to understand…but… I can't say… yeah… I can't say I don't hate you for it."

Antonio remained silent.

"I know I don't have a damned choice. I'm nothing here. I'm just a servant. One among many. I can't fucking say no. I must work here… but… but… at least give me the choice to tell you how the fuck I want to work."

Antonio looked down.

"I want to work in the fields." Lovino said. "I am going to work in those damned fields, along with the others. I'll wake up at four o'clock in the morning and I'm not going to return back until late in the evening. It will be stressing, difficult, tiring, but…"

Antonio was shocked. He and Lovino stared at each other for a long moment.

"But at least I won't have to see your face again." Lovino said, immediately regretting his words. Antonio's hurt look would hunt him forever.

"I understand." Antonio said. A smile. "Yeah… okay, why not…"

Lovino doubted Antonio meant it, as he didn't know why he was taking such drastic measures in the first place himself. Lovino wanted Antonio to pay. He wanted to hurt him, but he didn't know how. At the same time, though, he really didn't want to leave Antonio and than made him even angrier.

For all this reasons, for his sanity, he had to stay away from Antonio.


	7. Chapter 7

Bella didn't take his choice very well. It wasn't like she told Lovino out loud, but he could see the look in her eyes, the worry and disappointment in his friend's face. She recommended him to be careful, and not to hurt himself, but no other words were uttered about it from then on. Nathan's face, on the other hand, was empty of any emotion. He kept giving water to the orange trees when Lovino told him the news later that day.

"Take care of my tomatoes." Lovino said. Nathan glanced at him, sighed and nodded. Lovino then turned to look at the only lemon tree of all the household, but thought better of it and added:

"Well. That's all…"

It wasn't like Nathan and Bella weren't going to see him again. And the lemon tree too was just another tree in the garden.

The next morning he woke up really early. Bella was still sleeping besides him, and Lovino made the less noise possible and climbed down the stairs. No one stopped him when he opened the front door and stepped outside. The guards turned their head to look at him before returning back to their business. Lovino looked around and finally noticed a group of workers waiting before the gates.

He felt his heart start pounding rapidly in his chest as he made his way to them, and for a moment wondered if he should just pretend nothing happened and return back to Bella. He immediately swallowed the thought and moved forwards. The workers were all much older than him, but didn't even raise an eyebrow at his arrival. Some greeted him, others plain ignored him, but there were two or three that decided he was worth speaking to.

"You must be Lovino, right?" said one of them. The guy was tanned and had short, raven hair. He smiled brightly at him and stretched his hand. "I'm Roberto. I have never met you in person, but I had the pleasure to eat one of your tomatoes."

"Oh… er…" Lovino shook that hand back, and tried not to blush. "P-pleased to meet you."

"You know, tomatoes actually come from my place…" the cheerful guy said. Lovino didn't have the time ask him where exactly was that that the workers started walking all together outside: the gates were finally opened.

Lovino had been out of the mansion only once, so he knew that the town was a long way to go, but he hadn't a clue were Carriedo's fields were. The truth was he really couldn't care less, and he would have gladly walked all day long, chatting with Roberto than working.

"Work is hard." Roberto said, "But don't worry. Time passes really quickly. I'll be with you the whole time, so whistle to me if you need anything."

"T-thanks…" Lovino said.

"I don't think they are going to give you the hard tasks from day one." Another said. His name was Carlo, and from what Lovino had understood, he came from a place called Argentina. He had nodded as if he understood what the other was saying, but the truth was he had no idea where Argentina was.

Unexpectedly, it took him really little to get to the fields. Lovino realized they were there as soon as he noticed the imposing brick wall before them. There were two just as imposing men controlling them of each side of a gate that lead into the fields. The two men gave a long, heavy stick each of the workers and then showed them where they needed to go.

"Oh… olives…" Carlo said, behind Lovino, but the younger man didn't understand what Carlo said until he was given his own stick and was pushed inside the gates. The workers walked in silence until they finally arrived were the olives trees were.

Some workers started lying down on the ground and just under every olive tree, long, white cloths. Lovino too was asked to help, and when that job was done, they all took their sticks again.

"You have to hit the trees, so that olives fall down." Roberto explained, and made the first move. He gently hit a branch and some olives fell on the white cloths from the sudden movement. "Not to hard, or you'll break the branches. And they don't want that."

"In the end someone has to climb on the tree and get the rest of them, but that's only if it's absolutely necessary." Carlo added. Lovino shrugged. He really didn't care, and started hitting the tree as ordered. At first the job didn't look that hard, but his arms started hurting in the long run, and to hold the stick quickly became quite impossible. The others didn't look as tired as he was, but Lovino was sure that was because of the two men patrolling around, hiding not so well the guns in their clothes.

"Did they ever kill someone?" Lovino whispered then, checking as one of them gave him a long, scrutinizing look. Roberto didn't answer him, and Lovino wondered if that was an affirmative answer.

They kept working for a while more, then Lovino couldn't take it anymore and the stick fell from his hands. Carlo and Roberto's eyes were immediately on him, but before they could say anything, another figure talked in their place.

"No slacking off." One of the guards said, looking down at him with a disapproving look. Lovino was panting, and he looked up at the man frightened. He tried to take the stick again, but tripped on it instead and fell on the ground. The guard narrowed his eyes at him, and Lovino cursed.

"Fuck it all, I don't care." He said and remained there, the weariness finally taking over. Carlo made a step to help him up, but the guard stopped him with a look. Lovino and the guy stared at each other for a long moment, and then the older man crossed his arms over his chest.

"Are you related to Rome Vargas?"

The question shocked Lovino, and he widened his eyes at the other man. The guard's lips slowly stretched into a strange smile, and even Carlo and Roberto stilled.

"He is… _was_ my father." Lovino said, deciding to answer the silly question. The guard seemed satisfied and made a rough gesture to Carlo and Roberto, who unwillingly left Lovino alone to continue their work somewhere else.

"You work for Carriedo, right?" the guard said, taking Lovino's stick and looking at it with a curious expression on his place. He then grinned sarcastically at Lovino, who was still sitting down on the ground. "I heard about you." The man said. "You tried to escape many times, isn't that correct, kid?"

Lovino furrowed his eyebrows, and wondered what was going on. The man patiently waited for an answer, and leaned on the stick, as if they were talking about the weather.

"T-that…" Lovino sighed, frightened, but trying hard to look courageous. "That was a long time ago."

"Yes, I know." The man cut him. "And that was stupid." He added then, "There is no way for you to get out of there like that, kid." The guard started laughing, and raised two fingers. "Either Carriedo sets you free or you die. Those are your only two options."

Lovino found the conversation ridiculous, but he couldn't say that it was doing wonders for his mood either. He already knew he was damned; did that man need to rub it in his face too?

"What about killing Carriedo?" he said before he could process what he was saying. His breath stopped in his throat, as the man suddenly looked really serious. Lovino realized that the man probably worked for Carriedo too, and admitting a murder intention wasn't a really good idea. Lovino expected the other to hit him with his own stick, or shot him in the head, but the man remained still for a long moment, before he burst out laughing.

"I like you, kid." The man said, drying a fake tear from his eyes. "My name is Pasquale, by the way." He added and stretched a hand to him.

Lovino stared at the man like he was crazy, then he looked down at the offered hand. Lovino gulped, took it and he was suddenly pulled on his feet again. Pasquale was staring at him, and Lovino realized that the other was waiting for him to tell his own name.

"I'm…"

There he had to think. Lovino had always hated his name. It was silly, pathetic and unmanly. Nothing to be proud of. Moreover, every time someone pronounced it now, Lovino couldn't help but think about the way Antonio had slurred his name that day in the studio. It disgusted him.

"I'm Romano." Lovino suddenly decided. "Romano Vargas, and I'm no fucking kid."

Pasquale burst out laughing again, and Lovino wondered if the guy was really nuts in the end.

"You know, I actually lied to you." Pasquale said, and Lovino raised an eyebrow. Pasquale waited a moment as if to create some suspense, and then smiled. "There _is_ another way for you to get away from that mansion. But you have to earn it."

Now Lovino was really curious. Pasquale stared at him, and then grinned.

"Have you ever been to town?"

There Lovino shook his head. Pasquale seemed suddenly happy.

"Do you want to?"

Lovino nodded.

"I can take you there." Pasquale said then, his dark eyes full with mirth. "You'll be with me all day long instead of working here in the fields…"

Lovino was suddenly confused. What if Antonio discovered he was ditching the fields for that man? As id reading his mind, Pasquale continued.

"And Carriedo would never learn a thing about this."

Lovino let out a sigh of relief.

"Are you with me then?" Pasquale grinned, and stretched his hand to him. Lovino took it. "Good. Now go to work, and will talk again tomorrow." He ordered and gave Lovino's stick back to him. Lovino stared at the other's back, then at the olive tree above his head. He suddenly felt reinvigorated, and started hitting the tree with much more force than necessary.

Carlo and Roberto returned to help him again, but, contrary to Lovino's beliefs, they didn't ask him anything about his encounter with Pasquale, as if they hadn't seen a thing.

That evening he returned to the mansion exhausted. He didn't even greeted Bella or answered her questions about his day, and just dropped on the bed and slept. The next morning, though, he awoke with a kind of trepidation that lasted until the group of workers he now was part of arrived to the fields again. This time, though, Pasquale didn't give him a stick or anything to work with, but grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him away from the others. Lovino was sure that Roberto and Carlo glanced at him, worriedly, but didn't comment and just returned back to work.

"Are you ready for your first day towards independence, Romano?" Pasquale said, with a bright smile. Lovino looked at him and instantly forgot about Carlo and Roberto.

"Of course." He said, flaunting a confidence he really didn't have. Pasquale seemed satisfied, though, and led him to where a carriage was waiting for them, just around the wall's corner. For the third time in his whole life, Lovino was again pushed into one of them, and they both rode towards the town. The whole ride Lovino just stared out of the window and Pasquale never attempted any kind of conversation whatsoever.

For the first time, after three years, Lovino was going to see the town. It wasn't as big as he imagined: little houses made of stones were lined up one after the other, divided only by the dirty road. There were some shops too and a fruit and vegetable market, where people screamed at the top of their lungs the prices of the different merchandises. Lovino was surprised to see some many inhabitants, and he suddenly wished he could be one of them. He even saw a couple of houses that he would have liked to live, and started fantasizing what it would feel like to finally be left in peace.

The carriage stopped in front of one of these houses, that Lovino immediately understood was a tavern, and got off. Some persons greeted Pasquale and some even bowed their head at him, as if he was such kind of important person. Pasquale didn't even glance at them, and just pushed Lovino inside the tavern.

Lovino was suddenly frightened, as ten pairs of eyes suddenly turned to look at him. Lovino looked at all of them straight in the faces. They all looked pretty normal; if it wasn't for the fact they looked pretty dangerous too. Some were playing cards, other were drinking, while there were some that were cleaning their nails with the blade of their knives. They all stopped what they were doing, as soon as Pasquale followed Lovino inside. They all smiled, greeted him and started talking all together.

"Who's the boy, Pasquale?"

"Shouldn't you be in the fields?"

"I need money. I've been waiting for you for eons!"

"Why do you look so frightened, kid?"

Pasquale waved a hand and all immediately shut up. He then made a bee line to where the barstool was and grinned, putting a hand on Lovino's shoulders.

"I have news for you, everyone!" Pasquale said loudly. Lovino glanced at him, then at the men around them, staring at him as if he was an animal. "This is Romano Vargas! Our new… member!"

Everyone started talking again, this time among each other, pointing at Lovino with much more interested than they showed before. Lovino couldn't make out what they were saying, but he swore his father's name was mentioned once or twice. Suddenly a bulky man, smoking a cigarette, stood up from his place in the farthest corner of the tavern and approached them. Lovino thought he could die: the man looked like he could kill him just with one stare, and it was dangerously getting closer. The tavern fell silent again, as the man leaned to where Lovino was and grinned.

Lovino looked up at him, and the man looked down at Lovino. Then he suddenly took his gun out and put it on the counter, near Lovino's face.

"Romano, huh?" the man said.

"Y-yeah…" Lovino said, gulping a little. The man grinned once more and pointed at the gun.

"Do you want one of these?"

Lovino's eyes darted to the gun, and imagined himself holding one, shooting at something… or someone. Lovino had to admit he didn't mind the idea so much. He suddenly felt courageous and took the gun in his hands: it was heavy, and Lovino immediately realized he would hurt himself if he dared to pull the trigger. The man and Pasquale watched him put it back on the counter, and Lovino traced a line on the cold metal with his finger before he said, the hope rising in his chest:

"Are you going to give me one?"

The man laughed a little and shook his head.

"They are really expensive." He said. "You need to pay to get one."

Lovino suddenly pouted. It had been a good dream. Pasquale suddenly put a hand on Romano's shoulder and laughed too.

"I know you don't have money." Pasquale said. "But this is where you start earning it."

Lovino raised an eyebrow, and then glanced at the gun. One by one all the guys in the tavern stood up and got closer to him, shaking his hand and welcoming him in the club. Whatever the hell that meant. Pasquale then ordered two drinks of something so strong, Romano went into a coughing fit as soon as he drank a drop. Everyone laughed, making Romano embarrassed, but then told him he was going to get used to it.

Suddenly someone started playing a guitar, and Lovino was immediately drawn to the sound. Everyone started laughing and drinking, like it was some kind of party. The guy playing the guitar gave it to Lovino at one point, and Lovino finally had the chance to show his talent.

"You are one guy!" Pasquale exclaimed, as Lovino started playing, patting him soundly on the back. Lovino grinned: he suddenly felt appreciated, loved and not alone anymore. He was one of the guys, and, who knows, one day he would be able to drink alcohol as well…

The next day Lovino was introduced to the fine art of pick pocketing. He started his career in the open-air market, at first shaking like a leave in the wind, terrified of being caught, but suddenly realizing he was really good at it.

No one minded him around, as he was just a kid, and didn't even realize their money was gone until it was too late. By the end of the day Romano had his pockets full with gold coins, which he immediately put in a little wallet he "accidentally" found and hid it in a hole in the earth he made that same night under the lemon tree in Carriedo's back garden. No one caught him, and no one ever found the hidden wallet.

His days passed just like that, becoming the perfect thief, and sometimes running errands for Pasquale and his gang. He wouldn't return to the mansion until later in the evenings, and even if they lived in the same building, Romano managed to avoid Antonio for two years.

His life suddenly made sense again.


	8. Chapter 8

The first time he suddenly realized his body was changing didn't coincide with the first time he dreamt about Antonio. In fact, it was much more awful than just plain dreaming of the bastard Lovino was still technically serving. It hadn't been the first time, because he had seen Antonio in his sleep _many times_ before that. At first Antonio had always been some kind of shadow, sometimes even there was just his smile, a sick reminder that he was still in this world and that Lovino may see again sooner or later.

That time, though, Lovino had woken up soaked in his own sweat, feeling something in his gut that wasn't exactly pain, but that wasn't pleasurable either, because, for the first time in his whole life, Lovino realized Antonio couldn't be there with him in that exact moment. Lovino couldn't pinpoint what exactly had happened. He just ran away, somewhere else, before Bella could wake up and see in what state he was in.

However, the first time he realized his body was changing _did coincide_ with the first time he finally noticed he was gaining the attention of the girls in town. Lovino had few chances to see himself in the mirror, and, at first, the way those girls looked at him made him feel he had something on his nose. Step by step he realized that wasn't the case and that talking with those same girls wasn't that bad an experience either, and much to Pasquale's envy, he started dating them.

Dating was too much of a word, really, but that was how Lovino described it. The girls were fun to be with, they laughed and blushed, and they were all really beautiful. Lovino could flirt with them as much as he wanted, and they would never complain.

On the other hand, his first shaving experience had been a bad one. He ended up almost cutting his throat than anything else, much to Pasquale's amusement, who told him it served him right for taking all the most beautiful girls in town.

"It's not my fault you are fucking old." Romano told him. Pasquale made him work as a dog for a week straight after that.

Pasquale never told him what exactly Romano was doing, but Romano wasn't stupid enough to think it was for a good cause. Still not having a weapon of his own, Romano was sent around town to collect money from others, or give something to somebody else. People soon enough recognized him anywhere, and started to give him the same reverence Romano noticed they did with Pasquale.

Pasquale usually kept him in the dark, and only one time did Romano followed him to the back tavern, where stocks upon stocks of illegal alcohol were stored. Pasquale trusted him not to tell, and Romano trusted Pasquale on what he would do if he ever told. Moreover, Pasquale usually pushed him away when something really dangerous was going on, and Lovino was glad about that.

One day, one year and a half after Pasquale took him away from the fields; Romano realized he had collected enough money to pay his new gun, and that he still had enough for him to keep. He didn't inform Pasquale about that, though, and just brought the right amount of money in a bag he found from a really nice old lady in the market.

Romano had slammed the bag on a counter with a satisfied grin on his face, and Pasquale hadn't believed him until he opened the bag and saw the gold coins glaring at him with his own eyes. Pasquale was astounded, to say the least.

"How…?"

"That's my secret to know." Romano said. "I think you owe me something…"

"Yes, of course." Pasquale had smiled, getting over his first shock. "She had been waiting for you."

By that time Romano was tall and strong enough to hold the gun in his hands without much of an effort. It was still heavy and Romano was still sure that he would hurt himself if he used it, but he was really happy too. That was the day he officially became one of the guys.

Angelo, the big guy who told him he had to earn a gun if he wanted one, taught him how to use it as well. Angelo and Romano had stayed hours on end in the farthest end of a field, trying to hit a precise spot in a tree's trunk. Romano had liked the feeling of power the gun gave him every time he pulled the trigger. It had been a fun day, one of the most beautiful in Romano's life, but soon enough Romano realized using it wasn't going to be that funny anymore.

As soon as he got his own weapon, Pasquale's tasks raised in difficulty by a notch. Romano was finally sent with the other guys, and by then collecting money from others had became more than just a simple commission. For most of the time things would go really smoothly, but there were times that things could turn really nasty.

The first time Romano had found himself in a cross fire, he had seriously thought was going to be the last day of his life. Their procurer had decided to play for the rival gang's side, and they bumped into the enemy without a warning. Any attempt of conversation was cut from the start and things could have only gone worse from then on.

Angelo had jumped before Romano to protect him, having a soft spot for the new pick-pocketer, and had died almost immediately. Fortunately for them, that had been their only victim, but Pasquale had been furious about how things had gone. The procurer had been literally kidnapped, and Romano didn't know what they had done to him.

Angelo's death had been a shock. Romano hadn't thought that a man as bulky and terrifying as Angelo had been could die just by a single bullet. He wondered what could have happened if Angelo hadn't been there, or if he hadn't liked Romano at all. Lovino didn't want to think about it.

Romano soon realized that nothing was as it seemed and that he could hurt himself badly in the end. Pasquale forced him to get over his grief soon and to make everything worse he was assigned the worst thing Romano could have done in his whole life.

Pasquale had been with him through the whole process. Romano had trembled like a leaf in the wind for the most part of it. Now Romano knew what they had done to their provider, and when he was forced to raise his gun to finish their new companion who turned out to be a spy, Romano had honestly panicked.

He had never killed anyone, and the other's pained eyes, watching him from half lidded eyelashes, made him want to scream. Pasquale barked orders, he shouted at him to get on with it, because they had other things to do, and Romano had complied.

Romano saw the life leave the other's face with his heart speeding madly in his chest, and the victim's eyes would hunt him for many years after that. The new experience finally made Romano realize that that wasn't a joke at all and that he wanted out of the game. He finally realized that he missed the old times in Antonio's studio, learning how to play a guitar, and he wanted to go home.

Telling Pasquale so was impossible, but Romano attempted anyway.

He found him the next week after the murder in the back tavern, where Pasquale was putting some things away. Romano had remained silent for a long time, before he finally found the courage to speak.

"Pasquale?"

Pasquale raised his head to look at him, and raised an eyebrow.

"What is it, Romano?"

Lovino fidgeted, then shook his head and said:

"I want to return back to the mansion." He gulped as Pasquale stared blankly at him, "I need some time away from all this."

Pasquale stared at him, and Romano wondered if he should just leave. Suddenly, Pasquale sighed and put down the bottle he was holding.

"You can't leave." Was all Pasquale had to say. Romano laughed a little, and then continued:

"I'm not leaving. I still need to kill Carriedo." Romano said, half-jokingly, half-serious. Pasquale seemed relieved and crossed his arms before his chest.

"Did you hear what they are talking about in town?" Pasquale said then. Romano shook his head. "They say a war is going to start soon. A _revolution_." He syllabicated the word as if he was joking.

"I… I think I heard that too…" Romano said, suddenly remembering some chicks talking about it in the street. Pasquale shrugged and said:

"I don't believe a word they say." He laughed, "They say masters and servants are going to be no more. It is shit, I tell you."

Romano suddenly burst out laughing, and sat down on a chair.

"Bullshit." He said, "Bullshit. Everyone commands and serves someone." Romano glanced at the bottles around them, and then looked at Pasquale again. Pasquale laughed too, but then immediately became serious:

"They also say that North and South are going to be one again." Pasquale suddenly looked disgusted, "That's too much."

"I don't believe in this shit either, Pasquale." Romano said then. Pasquale shrugged.

"Anyway…" he said, returning back to his previous business. "I was thinking about the first part of all this chitchat nonsense." He continued, "And I thought about Carriedo."

Romano raised an eyebrow. Pasquale shot him a conspiring look, before continuing:

"You want to go back, right?"

"Just for a small period of time."

"Okay then." Pasquale granted then, "I let you go."

Romano couldn't believe his ears.

"But on one condition." Pasquale said.

"I told you I'm not fucking leaving."

"I take that for granted, lad." The older man said, "I need you to spy Carriedo, see if those rumors are actually true, or if something is going on with the wealthy. I let you go for a small period of time, as you said, and when I think it's enough, you return back to me."

"What I'm supposed to search for?"

"I trust you with that." Pasquale grinned, "If these rumors are true you are going to have your revenge, Romano. The mansion will have no master, and we can get rich with Carriedo's fortune."

Romano stared at Pasquale for a long time, and then nodded.

By that time, Romano's dreams about Antonio had become worse, and dating girls wasn't helping at all. He was angry at himself for longing for Antonio, but his body seemed to have a totally different opinion on the matter. He blamed hormones for that, but kissing girls or spend his nights with them didn't help the situation by much.

Once he couldn't stop thinking about Antonio and had a hysterical crisis in front of a girl, who had tried to calm him down as much as she could. It had been nice, but it had left him empty afterwards. He then blamed Antonio for it, and he was sure that his supposed boss had messed with his head that day in the studio. If that was the case, it meant he was mad and that there was no way Romano would turn normal again.

Now that he had a chance to see Antonio again, Romano was actually scared of what would happen. On one hand, he couldn't wait to see him, immediately regretting the thought afterwards. On the other hand, Romano was angry and wanted to keep avoiding Antonio as much as he could.

That night, the first he knew that he wasn't going to town in the morning, he didn't sleep at all. He kept tossing around in his bed, afraid that if he closed his eyes he would see Antonio again, and that tomorrow everything would become true. When morning came, he decided to waste some more time with Bella instead.

Bella was happy beyond description, as soon as Romano told her that he was going to stay in the mansion for quite some time. They chatted for hours, as they prepared breakfast and lunch together, a thing Romano immediately realized he quite missed. When they were over, Romano finally decided to go upstairs, first to Nathan, to see if his tomatoes were still alright, and then up to Antonio's studio.

Lovino couldn't still understand why he felt so anxious to see Antonio. Once or twice he thought about running back down to the kitchens, and more often that he let on he had stepped backwards, away from the studio. He even encountered The Matron up the stairs. She was older than he remembered her to be, her hair was gray and she had big wrinkles under her eyes.

They had stared at each other for long, before The Matron had courtly nodded at him, and had almost run away. Romano was shocked to see her reaction and wondered for a moment if she had actually recognized him. He supposed he hadn't changed much. Yes, he was now a fifteen years old teenager, taller and with all that baby fat gone, but he wasn't that different from before.

The encounter with the Matron had actually made him forget about his first intention of meeting Antonio again, so when somebody suddenly touched his shoulder, he almost cried in surprise.

He abruptly turned around and finally saw what he had been dreaming of from two years. Antonio was standing there, still a little taller than Romano was, his green eyes a mixture of surprise and happiness. Romano was at loss of words, and Antonio too was opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of the water. Lovino couldn't stop thinking about how Antonio had turned to be a really handsome man. He was gorgeous, and as soon as the thought crossed his mind, Lovino started blushing.

"DAMN IT! Don't scare me like that!" Lovino suddenly exclaimed, trying to put as much as space between him and Antonio. Antonio suddenly smiled, his lips stretching up in such a way, that Lovino found himself hypnotized.

"Lovino…" Antonio said. Lovino looked at him, blinked, blushed, looked down, felt his heart start racing in his chest, and suddenly said:

"I…"

"You are back?" Antonio asked then, cutting him before Lovino could say something stupid. Lovino stared at him for a moment, then decided to lie and nodded once. Antonio smile turned even brighter, and in the spur of the moment, suddenly hugged Lovino close.

Lovino was too shocked to move, but he had to admit he liked the warmth coming from the other body. He became ten shades of red, and closed his eyes, trying to imagine himself somewhere else.

All too soon, Antonio broke the hug and put his hands on Lovino's shoulders. Lovino felt suddenly awkward: he didn't know what to say or what to do, and everything that came in his mind was stupid. It was Antonio who broke the silence.

"These past two years…" he started, "Oh, my God. Lovino. I knew you were here, but…"

"Enough nonsense." Lovino cut him, "I'm _here_ now. Damn it."

Antonio smiled brightly again, and Lovino was sure he was going to die then and there. Lovino looked to the side, and slapped Antonio's hands away.

"Err… do you need me to do something?" he suddenly said, trying to cover his embarrassment. Antonio blinked at him for a long time and then suddenly burst out laughing. Lovino wondered if he the other turned finally mad, and felt angry at Antonio from making fun of him in that way. But before he could start making a scene, Antonio took his hand and led him out of the mansion.

"I have to show you something!" Antonio exclaimed, looking as excited as a kid in a candy store. Lovino followed him outside, wondering what was going on, until they were outside the gates of the mansion. Lovino checked the two guards behind him, noticing they weren't moving from their post, and then turned to look at Antonio again.

"What's the fuck is wrong with—", Lovino's eyes widened as he finally noticed what Antonio wanted to show him. Before the gates, parked near a tree stood a carriage, only… not. Antonio pulled him closer to the strange machine, and Lovino stared at it like it was going to come alive at any moment.

"It's a car!" Antonio said, excited. Lovino looked at him, then at the car in question. It was an amount of iron, crumpled up to look like a carriage. There were no horses and there was a strange wheel before one of the seats.

"It's strange, isn't it?" Antonio asked, "They say that with this you don't need to use horses anymore, and I always felt bad for those poor creatures, so I couldn't resist to the temptation. There are not many around, but they told me they are going to be really popular in some years time."

"They tricked you." Lovino said, softly. Antonio ignored him and let go of Lovino's hand. Antonio sat where the seat with the wheel was, and motioned Lovino to join him. Lovino wasn't sure about that, and stared at Antonio for a long time. Antonio pouted, and Lovino sighed, cursed and slowly sat on the seat next to Antonio.

"What now?" Lovino said, sarcastic and looked up at Antonio. The older man (but in that moment Lovino seriously thought he was the mature one) grinned and did something Lovino didn't exactly understand. Suddenly the machine started to groan and Lovino grabbed Antonio's hand in panic. It started to waggle in a terrifying way, and Lovino's breath hitched.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"Don't worry. It's okay. It does it, sometimes…" Antonio said, but he didn't look as calm as he wanted to pretend to be. The car jerked forwards, stopped, moved again, then started to gain speed.

"Errr… it usually doesn't do this though..." Antonio whispered and Lovino turned to look at him, in disbelief. The speed wasn't much and if they wanted they could have jumped down to safety, but they were both glued to the spot.

"Oh, fuck! The tree! The tree!" Lovino shouted, trying to put the hand on the wheel. Antonio was doing something with his feet Lovino couldn't see, but the car didn't seem to want to change directions. All too suddenly it crashed against the tree, it groaned a little, then everything turned silent again. Antonio and Lovino stared before them for a long time, then Lovino grabbed Antonio by the shirt and started shouting.

"You could have fucking killed us!"

Antonio stared at him, then at the car, then suddenly grinned:

"It's awesome, right?"

Lovino stared at him.

"W-what?"

"I should have checked if the breaks worked before we hopped in." Then Antonio started laughing, and Lovino tried not to head-butt him. "Oh, come on. Don't look so _scared_." Antonio added then.

Lovino did head-butt him then.

Lovino never knew if Antonio had done it on purpose or not, but that accident helped them both get over their first awkwardness and start things over again.

It felt like a new period of his life was starting. Lovino could finally relax and leave the murder behind. The Matron never asked for him to do anything, and if he wanted to do something he could help Bella out or tend to the tomatoes. Lazing around became finally his life style.

Lovino was never the first one to make the first step up to Antonio's studio; it was Antonio who came in search of him instead. Antonio loved to speak to him to the point it made Lovino dizzy. It was like they weren't master and servant anymore: the time they spent apart had erased that line between them.

At night Lovino couldn't fall asleep because he couldn't wait for the next day to come, and when he did, he couldn't stop dreaming about Antonio to the point that, when morning came, Lovino would wonder if he should just return to Pasquale again.

Until everything between them changed again, and Lovino didn't want to leave Antonio anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

Arthur Kirkland seemed to have everything.

He was very handsome and, moreover, he was one of the wealthiest men in the world, maybe ever richer than Antonio Carriedo was. Lovino didn't give a damn about that, though. Kirkland could own half of the world, and look astounding even when he was going through the worst hangover of his life, but all Lovino noticed about famous Mr. Kirkland was that he was a snob, stuck up and, despite those silly big eyebrows of his, totally a terrifying man. Not that he did something terrifying per se, but Lovino hadn't liked the look the Englishman had given him when he arrived at the mansion that day.

Antonio had been surprised by Arthur Kirkland's visit, and Lovino immediately realized that the two didn't get along enough to describe it as a friendly visit. Arthur wanted to talk about business and just about the right time, Lovino realized.

Some days before The Matron and Antonio had had a big fight. Lovino wasn't supposed to hear anything about it, but it wasn't like they caught him eavesdropping. Two years with Pasquale had taught him how to be extra careful when spying, and, as he pressed his ear against the door, he managed to listen to the whole conversation without being noticed.

It was the Matron who did all the talking, interrupted by unexpected coughing, something she started to do more often lately.

"Mr. Adnan is slowly but steadily becoming more and more independent. You can't keep your grudge, anymore, or sooner or later he is going to take your business over."

"He started…"

"Please, Mr. Carriedo." The Matron angrily stated, "Act like an adult and think. Mr. Adnan is going to win this war, if you don't do anything about it. He is giving all he has to take you down and give you a bad name." Cough fit. "He is succeeding. Our incomes are much less than our outcomes, and if we keep it like that, sooner or later, we will need to cut on our expenses."

"I think I can manage. Thank you."

"Have you thought about the incoming revolution, Mr. Carriedo?" Coughing fit. "The servants' hopes have started growing and no one buys a slave without thinking it over anymore."

Antonio remained silent. The Matron started coughing again, then she angrily stepped to where the door was, and Lovino managed to hide himself just in time. The door opened and the Matron stepped outside, helped to walk by Antonio himself.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Antonio asked, finally regaining his serenity. The Matron had waved at him nonchalantly and had made some steps outside on her own.

"Just think about what I told you about, or we are in _big trouble_."

Lovino remembered Sadik Adnan very well, but he had never thought that his rancor for Carriedo would last so long. He wasn't stupid enough, though, to hope that Sadik wouldn't try to obstacle Antonio's business, but to hear it from the Matron herself made him think that things were much more complicated that everybody thought.

And then this Arthur Kirkland came into the picture, and the Matron suddenly looked happier since the last time Lovino had seen her.

That was what made Lovino believe that Kirkland's arrival was The Matron's doing too. He overheard the Matron saying that Kirkland was living a very difficult period of his life, but Lovino hadn't had enough time to pick up what exactly was wrong with the other man that made him turn to Antonio of all people. He just met him by chance when he was with Antonio in his studio, and if he hadn't been there, he probably wouldn't have met him at all.

Arthur had knocked, stepped inside the room like he owned it, but at the same time being such a gentleman about it, that for a moment Lovino had conflicting emotions about the Englishman. Arthur had looked at him, hard and scrutinizing, and Lovino had taken it as a clue to leave.

"He is coming often lately." Bella said, when Lovino told her about him "It's been a long time since his last visit, though." She said, "You were still working in the fields."

Lovino decided to keep lying to her, to keep her in the dark about what exactly he had been doing for the past years, and nodded.

"They say he is mess lately." Bella said, "They say he had lost someone really important, but I don't know any more details."

"Does Antonio know him long?" Lovino asked instead, more interested in Antonio's relationship with Arthur, than Arthur's life itself. Bella smiled:

"Since they were young, actually, but they never got along that well, that's why you never saw him here. So it's quite a shock for us too. These visits I mean…"

Arthur staid in the mansion for a week, and all through the week Lovino had had few chances to see Antonio that much. The older man spent all his time with Arthur, until Lovino couldn't take it anymore and one evening went up to the studio to see if he could get even just a tiny glimpse on what was going on with them. He deeply resented Arthur for taking the little time he had to spend in the mansion, and he really couldn't stand knowing him with Antonio.

He had to make sure. Curiosity was killing him. It was nerve-wrecking.

So, it was with trepidation and anger that he made his way late in the evening up to Antonio's studio. The hall was fortunately empty and there was some light coming out from the other slightly closed door. What made him almost run and see what was going on, were the suspicious noises coming from inside the room. Lovino's heart started to beat madly as he slowly approached the door. There was a moan, and Lovino felt like he had been punched in the guts at the sound. He peeked inside, and his heart almost broke as soon as he realized what was going on.

Antonio was upon Arthur, hiding his face in the crook of the other's neck, so Lovino couldn't see Antonio's expression in that moment. Not that he cared, actually, all he could think of was their sweaty bodies touching, and Antonio's shoulder blades moving up and down, almost hypnotizing above the other man.

Lovino felt his heart stop. It was an awful emotion: it felt like he was going to die in that precise moment. Arthur was digging his nails in the other's back, and Antonio was there, kissing the other neck like there was no tomorrow. Lovino didn't know what to do. He was tempted to slam the door open and push Antonio away from that whore's body, but at the same time he mentally slapped himself, because it wasn't his business anyway. He was glued to the spot, and every noise, every moan, made him sick.

Is that what they had been doing all week? Was that why Antonio hadn't even looked at him all this time? The questions made Lovino even angrier, and he was tempted to set the whole mansion on fire, when, suddenly, Arthur turned to look at him.

His piercing green eyes found Lovino's ones, and Lovino thought that Arthur would go and tell on him, but the man didn't say anything, just kept holding Antonio closer. Lovino and Arthur looked at each other for a long time, before Lovino abruptly turned away and ran.

Only when he stepped outside in the back garden and the soft breeze hit his cheeks, did he realize he had been crying. He wiped the tears abruptly away, and cursed himself for being such a loser. However, it took him a long time to calm himself down. He wanted to scream, hit something, break everything down, but he didn't want to gain anyone's attention in that moment, so he repressed every feeling in the back of his heart.

When morning came, after a long sleepless night, Lovino swore he was going to return to Pasquale once and for all. There was no way in hell he could look at Antonio straight in the face anymore, not until the English whore hadn't left the mansion for good. He still had his gun, but Lovino wasn't sure he had the guts to use it, and, anyway, he didn't have any craving for trouble right then.

His plans of returning were totally blown off, however, as soon as he made his way to the kitchen. Bella was already up and the Matron was there with her, ordering Bella as she usually did every morning. As soon as Lovino came down, every conversation silenced and the two women looked at him.

"Oh, good!" The Matron said, for the first time talking directly to him since he returned to the mansion. She was in a really good mood, Lovino noticed, and the fact made him feel even worse. "The boy can bring the tea to Mr. Kirkland. You don't have to go anywhere." She added then, glancing at Bella.

Bella seemed relieved at that, but Lovino cringed at the other's name. How was he supposed to face him? Did everyone think he had enough patience to stay in the same room with that bitch for more than two seconds?

"Yes, that's true." Bella looked at him and pointed a tray with a teapot full of steaming tea, a cup and some croissants at him. "Could you please do me a favor and take this up to the guest room?"

Lovino glanced at the tray and was almost tempted to say no, before he realized this was his chance to spit in the other's tea and call it a draw. Lovino shrugged, and under the two astounded women's eyes, he took the tray and stepped outside. Lovino stared at the teapot with hate. He was so tempted to spit in it that he almost tripped two times. Lovino didn't know if he had the courage to do it, but he wondered if Arthur would ever notice the change in taste. After all it was common knowledge the English ate shit, so why would he ever understand the difference? Too deep in thought, Lovino arrived before the guest room without disrespecting Arthur's tea.

He cursed his weakness, and knocked on the door. Without waiting for an answer, he opened it on his own and unceremoniously put the tray on a table. Arthur was there, checking his luggage, and when Lovino entered, he stood up to greet him. They stared at each other for long, and, suddenly feeling self-conscious, Lovino made to run back outside. Arthur' seemed to have other plans, though, as he suddenly exclaimed:

"You are Vargas Rome's kid, aren't you?"

Lovino stilled, and slowly turned to look at Arthur, who was silently smiling at him. Lovino watched as the older man sat of the sofa and leaned on one of his hands.

"You look a lot like him, you know?" Arthur stated then, and Lovino raised an eyebrow in confusion. "You have the same hair, the same eyes, even the same angry expression… it's hard not to notice the similarities."

"How do you know my father?" Lovino angrily exclaimed, cutting the other immediately. Arthur was surprised at first, and then he started laughing.

"Well, lad, everyone knows your father!" Arthur said. Lovino stared at him, and when Arthur noticed the other's confusion, suddenly turned incredulous: "Don't tell me you don't know your father was famous?"

Lovino furrowed his eyebrows, and Arthur almost looked disappointed for a moment.

"He was just a farmer." Lovino stated. Arthur burst out laughing again.

"A _farmer_? So you really don't know anything?"

Lovino was quite hurt at this, and continued to stare at Arthur like he was crazy. When Arthur's laugher suddenly subsided, the Englishman turned serious again.

"Your father was the greatest man I ever met. He was wealthy, powerful and everyone feared him. He tried to take my business over, and more than once took over Carriedo's family fortune as well."

"So Antonio knows him too?"

"Of course. Antonio hated him. I did too, actually, and a lot of other people." Arthur said. "Your father was the kind of man you loved, admired, envied and hated at the same time. Antonio's family had unfinished business with him, but your father left the market before anyone could have their revenge on him."

"Revenge?" Lovino was shocked. His mind started working; he suddenly remembered the first day he came to the mansion, the fact that everyone knew his father… Pasquale. Antonio. Arthur. The Matron. Those guards… "Antonio…"

"Well, I didn't think he would actually do it. Take Rome Vargas' kid, I mean. But… well… here you are…" Arthur said. Lovino turned to look at him, his eyes wide, and suddenly felt betrayed. Lovino felt his heart start racing, and his breath was coming shorter. He was having a panic attack, he knew. He recognized the signs.

"Anyway, it's a pity your father lost everything and disappeared twenty years ago…"

Lovino looked at him, Arthur had a reminiscing look in his eyes, and Lovino waited for him to tell him the last part of the story. He didn't have to wait long.

"Rumor has it that he lost everything to a German. Others say he just fell in love and decided to start everything over with a really beautiful woman. Your mother, I suppose. Either way, it's a pity he is gone."

"Yeah…" Lovino was all he could say. Why hadn't his father said anything? Why had he kept him in the dark? Did Feliciano know? He knew, didn't he? His father had loved him best, after all. His father had asked him to get the wood, not Feliciano. Feliciano had stayed with him till the end… not, Lovino. Not him. Not…

"Are you okay?" Arthur suddenly said, worried. Lovino looked at him, then gulped and nodded once. The room was spinning around. Arthur was just a blurry spot on the sofa…

No. Lovino wasn't okay. Antonio knew his father. He knew who Lovino was. It hadn't been a coincidence. Antonio had wanted him for a reason.

Antonio didn't care about Lovino.

All lies.

All…

Arthur suddenly stood up and approached Lovino. The younger man made a step back and stared at Arthur straight in the eyes in defiance. Arthur was shocked by the expression on the other's face, but didn't comment on it. He just sighed and returned to his luggage instead.

Lovino needed to get out of there, but first he had to ask:

"Are you and Antonio…?", he immediately regretted asking, as Arthur turned to look at him, in shock. There was a long moment of silence, then Arthur actually blushed and said:

"Our hearts belongs to others, Lovino. There is nothing beyond that."

"Good." Lovino said, but he didn't know why he was saying it. He closed his eyes, tried to regain his breath, and then looked at Arthur again.

"You are leaving?" he asked then, trying to forget, trying to make sense of what was happening. He wanted to pretend he didn't care, but it would be a lie. Arthur looked at him as if he could read his thoughts. Lovino suddenly remembered him under Antonio, his lips slightly parted, breathing heavily… and suddenly he felt sick again. Where was his gun? What if he pulled the trigger and…

"Yes." Arthur answered, pushing Lovino out of his thoughts.

"Good." The words were out of Lovino's mouth before he could think it over. Arthur's face was undecipherable, and Lovino really wanted to know what was going on in the other's head. Lovino was feeling sick, he was sure it showed in his face and he hated himself for not being a good poker face. His hands started shaking but he tried to repress every emotion until he could.

And then, just in that moment, the only person who could make him crumble to dust came inside the guest room without a warning.

Arthur and Lovino looked over to the door, as Antonio himself came in. He looked at Lovino for a long moment, then at the teapot and then at Arthur. Lovino couldn't stand to look at him, and feeling his eyes suddenly stinging, he decided he should just run away from the stress. He pushed Antonio away from the door with all the force he could master, and ran down the stairs, away from Antonio and Arthur.

Unfortunately, though, fate had other plans for him, as Antonio had preferred to follow him outside than remain in his fucking place for once. Lovino groaned in frustration as Antonio suddenly called his name, and ran outside, to the front door, passed the guards, the fountains, and finally kicked the gates open.

No one stopped him. Antonio called his name once more, and Lovino cursed, trying to catch the tears back in, and wondered what the heck was wrong with him. Why was he so pathetic? Why couldn't just take it like a man and let this silly thing go?

"Damn it!" he shouted, making his way to the woods, "Damnit. Damnit. Damnit." He couldn't understand himself, he was overreacting, he knew, but there was nothing he could do about it. Suddenly Antonio's hand was on his shoulder, and Lovino was forced to meet the other's stare.

Antonio looked perplexed and worried, a strange combination considering the other usually cheerful character.

"Lovino…"

"Don't call me that!" Lovino suddenly shouted. "That's not my name!"

Antonio seemed even more worried at his reaction, and grabbed both of Lovino's shoulders.

"What's wrong?"

"I saw what you two did last night!" Lovino shouted then, finally letting out his real emotions. Antonio's eyes went wide and he let go of Lovino as if burned. Lovino felt quite content at that, but when he realized what he said, he cursed himself. He shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't. What was the point in telling him anyway?

"But that's not the point!" Lovino shouted immediately after, his face heating up. Antonio cocked his head to the side, and Lovino wanted to laugh, cry, hit him… hit him… "You knew my father, damn it!" he finally blurted out.

"Lo-"

"Don't you dare say my name!" Lovino shouted. "You knew my father! You… you… didn't just want a servant, a sex toy, whatever I was fucking supposed to be!", He continued, almost hysterical, "You wanted to take me over, you wanted to feel more powerful, as if, if you could make me yours, you would have finally dominated my father too! Or did you want _to be_ my father? Did you want me to look up to you like you were the most important man in this world? Like my father was?" Lovino groaned and shook his head, "What kind of SICK bastard are you?" Lovino stared at the other face then. Antonio looked guilty, but the fact didn't make him feel any better. "I hate you, bastard! I fucking hate you! What did you want to do with me? Am I just a fucking toy? Isn't that _whore _enough for you—!"

"He means nothing to me, Lovino!"

"No one does, it seems!"

Lovino suddenly stopped in his track, as Antonio slapped him hard across the face. The gesture had served it purpose, though, as Lovino finally calmed down. He put a hand on his red cheek, and stared at Antonio in surprise and just a little afraid. He remembered how Antonio looked like when angry and he didn't want to experience it on his skin. Antonio, though, didn't look angry at all, he just looked extremely guilty.

"Lovino, I…" he bit his lips, then continued: "I may have thought about that before, but now it's different. I don't want to use you. I don't want to dominate you. Your father has nothing to do with what I feel about you. I want… I want…"

Lovino was at loss with words, and he stared at Antonio for a long moment, not knowing what to do. It was Antonio who made the first step, put a hand on Lovino's hand and softly pulled it away from the other's cheek. Lovino stared at him, felt the warmth coming from the other's hand, and felt suddenly dizzy, as Antonio made a step forwards and pressed his lips on his bruised cheek.

"I'm sorry." Antonio said, and Lovino's breath hitched. "I'm really sorry."

Lovino was petrified, as Antonio came even closer and kissed his cheek once more.

"He means nothing. We are both…" Antonio added then, stopped, took a big breath and said: "… we both can't have what we want…"

Antonio pressed his lips on his cheek once more, and Lovino suddenly moved his head to where the other was. Antonio's lips suddenly found the corner of Lovino's mouth. When that happened, Lovino started shaking in a way no girl had managed to. He gulped, closed his eyes, and then slightly parted his lips. His heart was going to stop, he was sure of it.

He wasn't disappointed. Antonio kissed his lips immediately after, and Lovino felt overwhelmed by the conflicting emotions. It wasn't long until he was kissing Antonio back with force, shooting his arms up around the other's shoulders to prevent himself from falling. Antonio pressed closer to him, until Lovino could feel the other body perfectly against him, and grabbed him by the hair, violently deepening the kiss.

It was strange. He was kissing his fucking boss.

It was awful. He was kissing his captor.

It was wonderful. He was kissing Antonio.

And as soon as Antonio's name came into his mind, Lovino suddenly, abruptly pushed the other away. Antonio looked at him with half lidded eyes, and it took all of Lovino's courage not to kiss Antonio again. He gulped, pushed Antonio violently to the side and ran back into the mansion.

He was losing control. Damn his hormones. Damn his age. Damn everything. He ran back inside, and remained in the kitchens, until Bella announced to him that Arthur Kirkland had finally left.

Lovino should have felt relieved at that, but he couldn't. He actually felt envious of Arthur. For the slightest of moments he wondered what it would have been like to be in the other's shoes. Lovino couldn't go anywhere, and he had to stay there to confront his own emotions.

He was angry. He was furious. But at the same time his body was longing for Antonio's touch.

Antonio had admitted there had been a reason why Lovino was there in the mansion, but yet something in his mind told him he really didn't care and that he should feel glad things have gone that way. He cursed himself immediately, even slapped himself to see if he could knock some sense into himself, but it didn't happen.

His lips kept tingling. He wanted more.

Damn it.

All Lovino could do then was groaning in frustration and hide his face in the pillows of his bed. Damn Antonio to hell and back.


	10. Chapter 10

One of the stories Lovino clearly remembered his father telling him before he died was a strange one concerning some girl's box… vase… whatever it was… that once you opened it, there was no turning back. It had been a really silly story. Pandora was her name, now Lovino recalled, and he had never thought that it could be actually true. He knew it was when he experienced it on his skin. Lovino had found his Pandora's Box, vase, whatever it was, and now he was screwed.

Lovino had expected two things to happen after the incident between him and Antonio. First that he would manage to avoid the idiot for all was worth, and second that Antonio would have the decency to pretend everything was okay and not bother him for a long, really long time.

Lovino hadn't expected though that they were both idiots. He was an idiot because, no matter what he told himself, he would always go in search of the other in the end, and Antonio was an idiot because, no matter how much he had hurt Lovino, he still wanted to make amends and was, unexpectedly, so happy-go-lucky about it that he didn't care that the kiss had been just an accident.

Antonio didn't consider the kiss an accident as Lovino wanted it to be. Antonio considered it the cause of world's happiness, the reason why everything was beautiful and tinged in pink, which made Antonio look more like a crazy man in Lovino's eyes than just a plain idiot.

The morning after said accident, Antonio found Lovino in the back garden tending to his tomatoes. As soon as he greeted him good morning, Lovino started sputtering nonsense, avoided the other glances, blushed, shouted at the other to fuck off, but Antonio remained there, silly smile and all, and suddenly asked him if he wanted help.

Lovino was shocked to say the least. He wondered why Nathan wasn't there when he needed him, and then looked at Antonio straight in the eyes, alarmed.

"Are you finally out of your fucking mind?"

"Well… why not? Shouldn't I help after all? I'm eating them too." Antonio just said, shrugging nonchalantly at him.

"You should have thought about it before making sure to have all those servants around, so you won't need to do absolutely anything despite scratching your head and _laugh _like the bastard you are."

"That was mean, Lovino."

"I don't care. Now fuck off!" Lovino shouted, blushing madly, and menacingly pointed the scissors he held in his hand at Antonio. Antonio remained there and just stared at the scissors impassively for a moment before saying:

"If you are angry about yesterday…"

Lovino's breath hitched and the scissors dropped from his hands, falling to the ground with a slight metallic sound. He made to pick them up, but Antonio took them faster and gave them back to Lovino before the younger man could take them himself. Lovino stared at them, then at Antonio's hands, and suddenly looked up into Antonio's eyes again. Antonio made a step forwards, getting closer to Lovino, and delicately put the scissors in Lovino's hands. Their fingers touched for the slightest of moments, and Lovino suddenly felt his heart stop. Antonio smiled softly at him, and Lovino looked down at the ground again.

"Are you angry?" Antonio asked again, daring to touch Lovino's cheek this time. Lovino fought with the urge to lean into that hand, and abruptly moved away from the other.

"I-I… well…" Lovino gulped, while Antonio patiently waited for an answer. Fortunately, Lovino didn't need to go in search of one because, suddenly, Lovino heard the Matron's coughing getting closer. He cursed, because he didn't have the courage to deal with her just right then, grabbed Antonio's hand and pulled him to where the log house was.

"Damn her!" he shouted then, pushed Antonio inside and then closed the door behind them.

"What is going…!" Antonio suddenly exclaimed, and Lovino put a hand over the other's mouth.

"Shut the fuck up for a moment!" Lovino whispered angrily at him, and checked the back garden from the slightly opened doors of the log house. A moment later The Matron appeared. She looked around, made some steps forwards and then suddenly noticed the scissors lying nearby the tomatoes. Lovino cursed: he had dropped them once more in his haste to get away from her. Now if she decided the scissors needed to go back in the log house, they would surely get caught.

As Lovino had feared, The Matron did made to get the scissors, but suddenly she shook her head, and, coughing once more, turned her heels and left. As soon as she disappeared from sight, Lovino let out a sigh he didn't know he had been holding.

"That was a close one…" Lovino sighed. He suddenly remembered he still had his hands on Antonio's mouth and abruptly pulled it away. Antonio looked outside too, and then smiled at Lovino.

"You sure hate her guts, don't you?" he said then, amused. "It's a pity you two don't get along. She is such a nice woman… when she wants."

Lovino stared at him to spat something, but closed his mouth shut as soon as he finally realized just how close they actually were. The log house wasn't big, and the high amount of stuff that was stored in there didn't leave enough space to move in, especially now that they were two adults. Lovino was practically pressed into Antonio, and the fact didn't help his already confused mind by much.

Antonio smiled at him. Lovino was fascinated by how green the other's eyes were, and for a moment he felt the need to lean in and kiss the other on the mouth. As soon as he thought so, though, Lovino felt his stomach sway as if it was warning him that he would soon lose control again. He cursed himself, and immediately made to slam the doors open and step outside to get some fresh air, but Antonio suddenly took his hand and stopped him.

"Lovino…" he said, before the younger man could leave. Lovino was forced to look at him as if hypnotized and raised an eyebrow in question. Antonio smiled and continued: "There is a reason why I came here this morning."

"Other than pissing me off?" Lovino spat, feeling his hands burn in the other's grasp.

"Yes." Antonio laughed, and suddenly let go of Lovino's hand and moved his arms up to his own neck. Lovino watched him, fascinated, as Antonio took off his golden cross from around his neck, and gave it to Lovino. Lovino stared at it for a long moment, and then looked at Antonio confused.

"I know your birthday is in a week." Antonio explained. "I've been celebrating it for the past two years, and now I finally have the chance to give you a birthday present."

Lovino's cheek tinged red and his heart skipped a beat as Antonio helped Lovino put the golden cross around Lovino's own neck. The metal was still warm when it touched his skin, and the fact made his stomach churn pleasurably. Lovino looked down at it for a moment, and stared mesmerized as it moved up and down, synchronized with his own breathing.

"It was mine since I can remember." Antonio said softly. Lovino looked at him. "Now it's yours."

"You can't buy me with this, you know." Lovino stated before he could register his own words. He blushed and added: "Don't think I will forgive you only because you gave me this..."

Antonio laughed and shook his head.

"I know. It's just a gift. I give it to you because I want to."

Everything went downhill then.

As soon as the words left Antonio's mouth, Lovino felt he couldn't contain himself anymore and shot his arms around the other's shoulders. It wasn't difficult, considering the lack of space, to get closer to the other, and without another thought, he kissed him directly on the lips. Their eyes both fluttered close, and letting out a longing they didn't remember having, they both opened their mouths to let the other in.

Antonio's hands where everywhere, and Lovino for a moment remembered that evening in Antonio's studio two years before. It was as frightening as it had been back then, but not in the same way. This time Lovino _wanted_ it, and as if to proof to himself that that was the case, he kissed Antonio back with passion. Their breathing came short, and Lovino cursed the fact the log house wasn't big enough for them to lay down and take things just a step further.

"God…" Antonio let out a sigh, and started kissing Lovino's collarbone. "You can't even imagine what you do to me."

"I already know, idiot. Now shut up before I change my mind." Lovino whispered and ran his hands down the other back. He wondered what he was doing. He wondered why he felt he should rush; make the most of it before it was too late. He wondered why he didn't have the courage to stab the other in the back with whatever tool he could reach now that Antonio was vulnerable. He wondered why he didn't feel like hating Antonio as much as he should have…

And then suddenly Antonio wasn't there anymore. Lovino didn't know what was going on: a moment he had Antonio pressed hard against him, the next he was embracing air. He opened his eyes as the sun suddenly hit them, and felt a hand grab him by the shirt and pull him abruptly out. Lovino realized what was happening when he crossed Nathan's angry eyes staring at him. He suddenly felt small under the other's gaze, and opened his mouth to defend himself, but Nathan just pushed Lovino to stand behind him, and turned to look at Antonio instead.

"What do you think you are _doing_?" Nathan hissed, protecting Lovino with his body. Lovino looked at Antonio from behind Nathan's back, and Antonio met his gaze with a smile. Lovino felt like grinning when he saw how lusty the other's eyes still were. He couldn't believe he could do something like that to him, and he couldn't wait to do it again… He bit his lips though, and tried to remain impassive.

"What the hell are you doing?" Nathan repeated then, furious. "He is just _a kid_!"

Lovino would have snorted if he could, but didn't say anything. Antonio didn't look at Nathan at all. His eyes were glued into Lovino's ones, and Lovino's heart started beating faster at the other expression on his face.

"I'm sorry." Antonio said then, "I must have been mistaken."

Lovino felt like laughing, but decided to act cool. Nathan didn't get the joke and just looked even angrier. He pulled Lovino away and pointed a finger at Antonio.

"Listen." He exclaimed. "You may be our boss and all that shit, but don't you _dare_ touch Lovino again!"

Antonio and Lovino shared a long, lustful look, and then Antonio turned to Nathan again.

"Yes, of course." He said with a cheerful smile, turned around and left the back garden. Nathan groaned and then turned to look at Lovino.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Nathan whispered. Lovino pouted at him and crossed his arms over his chest. He suddenly felt the golden cross slightly scratch his skin, and he tried to hide it better inside his shirt. Nathan didn't seem to notice the new accessory in Lovino's possession, and stared at him, long and scrutinizing, before he finally let him go.

"Try not to do it again."

Lovino scoffed, and Nathan shot him a reprobating look, which Lovino discarded with a shrug of his shoulders. Nathan sighed and then, suddenly, took something out from his pocket.

"Anyway…" he said, twisting his nose a little, "The Matron wanted to give this to you, but couldn't find you _anywhere_."

Lovino raised an eyebrow and looked at the envelope Nathan was handing him over. Lovino furrowed his eyebrows, and then took the envelope in his hands.

"What is it?" Lovino asked, curious.

"A letter I suppose." Nathan said. He didn't give another look at it and started searching for a cigarette in his pockets instead. Lovino looked at him, then at the letter and, deeply in thought, sat under the lemon tree. His hands were shaking as he opened the envelope and took the letter outside. It was two pages long, full with symbols and scrabbles that Lovino couldn't comprehend. He stared at the pieces of paper for a long moment, running his fingers over it again and again, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't make anything out of it. He suddenly felt Nathan move and sit besides him, and Lovino looked at him, his eyes stinging with an emotion he couldn't quite pinpoint.

"I can't read." Lovino suddenly whispered. "I don't know what it says. I only see stains… damn it!"

Nathan looked surprised at him, and then his face suddenly softened, the anger Nathan had felt before suddenly vanished from the other's eyes. Lovino looked at the letter again, and wondered who could send something to him. He was curious, and it pained him that he couldn't understand what it said.

"Don't cry…" Nathan suddenly said, "Just give it to me."

Lovino wanted to argue that he wasn't crying, but then forgot about it as soon as Nathan took the letter and started reading it. There was a long silent moment, and then Nathan looked at him with a smile.

"I didn't know you had a brother!"

"W-what?" Lovino explained, widening his eyes at the other man and hastily took the letter back in his hands. His eyes scanned the letter furiously as if he could see something that belonged to his brother in that series of illegible words, but every letter was just a stain, something black on white paper, and Lovino couldn't understand a thing.

His first thought was that Feliciano hadn't forgotten about him, and a mixture of hope and delight had filled his soul, only to disappear as soon as he realized that Feliciano could write and read, while he couldn't. The disappointment almost made him want to rip the letter in half, but he decided to repress his emotions and said:

"What does it say?" Lovino asked then, almost shoving the paper in Nathan's face. "Did _he _write this?"

Nathan softly took the latter back and scanned the words over.

"He says he misses you…" Nathan said, "He says he is coming to take you back."

Lovino furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Nathan.

"Does that mean he is _free_?"

"He is." Nathan simply stated. "He doesn't work for…" he read the name once more, trying to figure out how it was pronounced and said: "…Mr. Roderich anymore, and that he is now part of the Resistance."

"The Resistance?" Lovino didn't understand, he tried to look at the letter again, but once more he was disappointed by his ignorance.

"Yeah…" Nathan said and sighed. "Well… I didn't think the Resistance actually existed, and it's really dangerous from your brother's part to mention it in a letter."

"He had always been dumb." Lovino said, hugging his knees. "Once he almost killed himself in the woods because he was trying to help a damned bunny. Don't fucking ask."

"I won't." Nathan said, "And anyway, I like bunnies too…"

Lovino snorted, and then returned back to the matter at hand.

"What's the Resistance, anyway?"

"They say it's a party of people that fights for equality and freedom. One of their main targets is to finally unite the North and the South."

"That's bullshit. North and South have never been united and never will." Lovino exclaimed, suddenly angry. He took a little pebble and threw it with all his might against the wall surrounding them. "Does he say anything actually fucking important in there?" he spat. Nathan glanced at him before returning his attention to the letter.

"He says he is planning to come to the town near the mansion in six months…" Nathan stopped and searched for something in that series of words, then nodded to himself: "This was written one month ago, so I suppose he is going to be here in the middle of summer or something…"

Lovino scoffed and suddenly stood up. He reached out his hand to take the letter, and Nathan gave it to him without complaining. Lovino looked at it once more before he crumpled it down into a little ball and put it away in his pant's pocket.

"You should burn that letter, Lovino." Nathan suddenly warned. "If anyone finds it on you, it can mean serious trouble for both you and your brother. Especially your brother." He added after a moment of thought.

"Yeah, okay, whatever…" Lovino said and, suddenly not knowing what to do, went to tend to his tomatoes again.

Lovino was furious. He was angry beyond relief, and he didn't think he could actually manage to see his brother again. Thoughts upon thoughts ran around in circles in his mind, the first one being that Feliciano was free and a cultured man. He knew how to write and read, he had managed to set himself free before Lovino had, and as if to add insult to injury, he was doing something important. He was part of that fucking Resistance.

And Lovino? Or, should he say, Romano?

Romano was just a pick-pocket. A murderer. A servant in that mansion. He didn't want to be a slave, he wanted to go out and enjoy life as anyone else. Then there was Antonio… Antonio was there and made everything more complicated than it already was.

Lovino absent mindedly touched the cross around his neck. It had been the first time anyone ever gave something to him as a present. He knew that Antonio hadn't done it selflessly and that he had lied in order to buy Lovino's affections, but it had felt nice to be given something for once.

Lovino wondered what would have happened if he had been in Feliciano's place. He would probably know how to write and read. He would be now part of the Resistance, and Feliciano would have received that cross that was now in Lovino's possession… He suddenly felt jealous and cut down some green tomatoes by mistake in his fury. Lovino stared at them with apathy, and then suddenly felt his heart clench in his chest.

If Feliciano had had an Antonio in his life, Lovino wondered, would he still have been part of the Resistance? Or was it _Lovino_ the weak member of the family after all?

If Antonio hadn't been part of his life, what would have happened to him? Lovino was sure he would have been free. He was sure he would have never killed that man. He was sure he would have never…

Lovino stopped, took the scissors and put them back in the log house, trying not to look at the little space around him for more than a second. Nathan wasn't anywhere, and Lovino suddenly realized it was past noon. Maybe he was in the kitchens to eat something, or maybe he had decided to take a nap somewhere. Either way, Lovino had the back garden for himself for the time being.

Lovino sighed and took the letter out. Five months and he would see his brother. Did he want to see him? He put the letter back in his pockets, and looked at the sky above. He sighed, and noticed someone staring at him: the last person on the Earth Lovino wanted to see right then.

"Are you alone?" Antonio asked, checking around to see if Nathan was there. Lovino tried to hide the letter as better as he could and approached Antonio, suddenly drawn by the other's presence. Antonio did the same, and soon they were practically face to face, as if they had never been interrupted.

"Yes." Lovino answered and put his hands on the other's chest. He remained like that for a moment, felt Antonio's arms encircle his waist, before he finally regained composure and abruptly stepped away from Antonio.

Lovino needed to get away from him. If only he could… If only he had the courage to…

"Lovino, I'm sorry about before… Nathan is right. I didn't-"

"Stop it, bastard." Lovino suddenly exclaimed, cutting him, "I know you want it."

Antonio looked at him, and then raised an eyebrow at Lovino:

"Are you angry?"

"Why do you fucking keep asking me that?" Lovino pouted and then put a hand on the trunk of the lemon tree.

"Because you are always angry at something…" Antonio tried to joke. Lovino looked at him, shot him a murderous look and then looked down at the ground again. The less he looked at Antonio, the less he would feel weird, he reminded himself.

"This time I'm not fucking angry at you!" Lovino suddenly said, blushing a little at his words. Antonio came closer and Lovino felt the other beside him.

"That's new." Antonio said, smiling brightly at him. "It makes me happy." Lovino snorted, then looked up at Antonio and noticed with a drop of uncertainty that he felt better about himself now that Antonio was there with him. Lovino and Antonio stared at each other for a long time, until Lovino couldn't take it anymore and looked down at the tree again.

"Could you…" Lovino asked, then gulped, blushed, avoided the other's eyes. "Could you… hm…"

"I'll do whatever you need, Lovino." Antonio said then. Lovino looked at him and gulped again.

"Could you teach me how to fucking write?" Lovino suddenly asked, his face heating up at his own words. Antonio looked at him confused for a moment, and then smiled.

"Yes, of course." He said cheerful. "But we should go up to the studio where I have all my writing utensils and…"

"Yes, okay, tomorrow." Lovino said, and then pointed at the lemon tree. "I don't have time today. Can you write the first letter of the alphabet right _here_?"

Antonio cocked his head to the side, but then shrugged it off and bent down to get something from his boot. Lovino stared, fascinated, as Antonio took a little dagger out and started cutting the trunk.

"The first letter is the 'A'." Antonio explained with a smile. Lovino stared as Antonio scratched something that looked like an arrow pointing up. When he was finished Lovino passed his fingers on it and gulped.

"A like Antonio…"

"Yes, that's right!" Antonio smiled brightly at him, and Lovino looked at him again, trying hard not to smile at him. Lovino already knew, overhearing one of Antonio's lessons with Mr. Cricket years before, that the first letter of the alphabet was the same letter with which Antonio's name started. Lovino had asked on purpose, because he wanted to see the letter 'A' every fucking day of his life. A reminder of Antonio. An 'A' to remember he was a slave.

A slave to him.

Lovino touched the roughly scraped 'A' again, and then watched as Antonio put the dagger away and approached Lovino again.

"But I can't write everything on the poor tree!" Antonio said, laughing, putting his hand on the tree next to Lovino's one, "Next time ask me to teach you how to write in the studio, it's more practical."

"I know, bastard. I'm not stupid!"

"I didn't say that!" Antonio smiled and leaned to where Lovino was. Their lips touched and Lovino once more was taken into another universe. He let Antonio kiss him, and not for a moment did Lovino stop touching the 'A' on the lemon tree.

Now even the lemon tree was officially marked by Antonio.

The same way Lovino was.

"My hearts belongs to you, bastard. You won." Lovino thought.

There was no way in hell he would say that out loud, though. Once a Pandora's Box is opened, there is no turning back after all…


	11. Chapter 11

Antonio Carriedo always keeps his promises.

That is all Lovino can think of as Antonio took a piece of paper, a pen and gave it to the younger man sitting nervously at his side. Their hands touched for the slightest of moments, and Lovino didn't know whether to pull it back and pretend everything was all right, or move it a little up and hold Antonio's hand for good. He did neither in the end, deciding that it would be better if he just snapped out of it, took the pen as offered and started getting down to fucking business.

Learning how to write and read was a real bitch. What he hated the most was that there were both capital and cursive letters, and they didn't necessarily look alike. It took him a lot to recognize one from the other, and then it took him even longer to remember how he should read them. Moreover, Lovino hated how every letter of his looked practically like shit compared to Antonio's ones. He tried to compare them to those Feliciano had wrote too, but it looked like Feliciano had a better calligraphy than both of them in the end.

It was a total disappointment.

Antonio had enough patience, though, to ignore Lovino's complaints about how life was too hard, and tried his best to teach him, but sometimes Lovino would be so fed up by his lack of progress that he would just sulk in a corner, making Antonio groan in frustration.

In those occasions Antonio could do nothing but hold his hand and tell him that it had been hard for everyone, and that it didn't mean Lovino was less clever than the others. Lovino would shrug, and Antonio would take his guitar and start playing, something, he soon realized, soothed Lovino's nerves and made him bearable again.

Unexpectedly, their relationship hadn't changed since their first kiss: Lovino would always be lazy, stubborn and angry all day long with Antonio, and Antonio would always try to be patient, cheerful and understanding with the younger man. What changed, however, were how much more time they spent together, as if they couldn't stay away from each other for long. Antonio liked spending time with Lovino, talking to him, holding his hand as he tried to write something, playing for him, and he especially cherished the moments Lovino smiled. It didn't happen often, only when Lovino would suddenly realize that he had managed to surpass him in something, or when Antonio would tell him he did something extremely well.

Those were rare smiles that lasted a second, and Lovino would immediately return serious if he caught himself being happy.

Lovino didn't want to be happy. He didn't want to admit he liked the way Antonio looked at him when he thought Lovino was too absorbed in a book to notice. He didn't want to admit he felt those infamous butterflies in his stomach whenever their shoulders touched, and moreover he didn't want to admit leaning in whenever Antonio's face came dangerously close to his own.

Lovino was sure he was nuts. Lovino was sure that he had lost his mind and whatever self-control he had left. Lovino wished they could be like that forever, that Antonio wouldn't be his boss and he wouldn't be his servant, and that outside the world wasn't changing. He was nuts to think that he could be happy, because there was no way this wouldn't end.

Another person who wasn't really sure about this strange relationship was Bella. Lovino supposed Nathan had told her about catching Antonio sucking Lovino's lips in the log house a few days before, and now Bella was acting even more overprotecting than before. Whenever Lovino left the kitchen she would immediately try to stop him, asking him to do any task she could think of in that moment, just to delay his visits upstairs. Lovino knew why she was worried, but it sometimes got on his nerves and he would talk back at Bella more often than not.

"He is much older than you, Lovino." Bella told him once, biting her lips and clutching her dress nervously. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

To which Lovino would immediately start stuttering, blushing and swearing that: "Nothing is going on, damn it! He is just teaching me to fucking write!".

Bella would only be reassured by that much, and the day after, she would try stopping him again. Nevertheless, Lovino's escapades to the studio led to nothing more than he drawing chickens instead of letters, and Antonio's hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

Bella stopped worrying altogether when the news Antonio needed to leave the mansion for two or even three months reached her ears a couple of weeks after. Lovino learned so by Antonio himself when he made himself comfortable (as comfortable as he could with Antonio sitting that close to him) in front of Antonio's desk one morning.

"I don't know if you know…" Antonio had said, straight to the point, "But I have financial problems right now."

"I don't care." Lovino immediately replied, sitting down on a chair and shooting a nasty look at the sofa behind him. Antonio didn't notice the disgust on Lovino's face and just continued:

"Well… I'm losing a lot of money to…" here Antonio stopped, sighed, and run a hand through his hair. "Well… anyway… my point is I need to go away for a little while…"

Lovino knew whom Antonio was losing money to, but he preferred to stay silent and keep his mask of pure indifference on.

"I- I don't care…" Lovino repeated, and cursed himself as he stuttered on the first word, letting the other know that he may care after all. Antonio didn't notice, much to Lovino's delight, and just played with his pen for a while, before Lovino decided to cut the silence and openly speak his fears.

"W-what would you do if you become suddenly poor?" Lovino asked, blushing a little at his sincere concern. Antonio looked at him, surprised, and then smiled brightly at him.

"Well, I suppose I will give everything up, find my one true love and live happily even after in a farm!" Antonio laughed. Lovino didn't like the joke that much and decided to just head-butt his boss in the chest.

"I was joking! I was joking!" Antonio said, trying to regain his breath, and Lovino looked smugly down at him, before he suddenly became serious again and shot Antonio the nastier look he could master.

"Don't go and fucking kiss anyone else in these three damned months, got it?" Lovino exclaimed, his anger from the previous joke making him realize too late what exactly he was saying. When he did, Lovino flushed red and turned his back at Antonio to hide his embarrassment. He felt Antonio swift besides him, stand up and approach him. Lovino didn't dare to look at the other in the eyes and was startled when he felt Antonio press a chaste kiss on his nape.

"As if I could…" Antonio whispered in his ear. Lovino decided to just ignore the shiver that ran down his spine at Antonio's words.

The next morning Antonio left the mansion early, and Lovino didn't go wave him goodbye. There was no reason for him to make a fool out of himself, and anyway, it wasn't as if he was going to miss the idiot that much. Nevertheless, he wouldn't have the time too as, some hours after Antonio's departure, one of the guards came in search of Lovino with a message.

Making sure Bella wasn't listening to them, the guard took Lovino to the side and told him:

"He is waiting for you."

Lovino's eyes widened. He knew perfectly well who was waiting for him, but he was shocked to see that he wasn't the only one working for Pasquale in the mansion. Lovino supposed it had been stupid of him to think he was the only one, and for a moment feared that someone could go and spill the beans to Pasquale about Lovino's not-so-secret crush for Antonio.

On the other hand, Lovino was relieved to hear that he could now fill his days with something else. Telling Bella he would return to work in the fields hadn't been easy, but the cook seemed much more comfortable knowing him outside the mansion than inside it. In those moments Lovino would have wanted to tell everything to her, but the fear that Pasquale may hurt her was too much of a risk.

When Lovino met Pasquale again, the guy seemed just a little older, even if only two months had passed since the last time they saw each other. Lovino was forced to tell him everything he knew and fortunately Lovino didn't run out of things to say. Antonio's failing business, his alliance with Kirkland and his departure from the mansion were gold for Pasquale's ears. Lovino didn't want to know what the older man wanted to do with all the provided information, and, frankly, he preferred to be left in the darkness.

"I'll stay with you until Carriedo returns." Romano said to Pasquale. "When he is back, I am going to work with you only until late in the afternoons. The evenings are fucking mine."

"Is there something you don't want to tell me?" Pasquale asked, raising an eyebrow at Romano's strange request.

"No, but if you want more information, I need to be there, don't I?"

Pasquale agreed.

Another thing Lovino was glad of was that, in this way, he could prepare himself for the incoming arrival of his brother, due now in three months or less. Romano didn't want to risk Pasquale or anyone else learning that Feliciano was coming to town, or that they were related at all. He hoped Pasquale didn't know that Rome Vargas had two kids, or if did, he hoped Pasquale still thought that Feliciano was working in the north as a servant.

Romano paid some kids of the town to come in search of him as soon as they encountered a man that probably looked just like him and to make sure that Pasquale, or anyone else for that matter, never learned about this. To make things just a little safer, he threatened each and every one of their family members if anything weird reached Romano's ears, and no kid was willing to risk his or their parents' life for something as trivial as telling Romano his brother has come.

"Tell him to call me _Romano_." He said. "Make sure he remains out of town all through his stay here."

With that secured Romano started following Pasquale around again to missions Lovino swore he would never talk about until he died, and doing things he would have nightmares about forever. Either way, Romano immediately realized that, let it be his first murder or the anger he felt for Antonio, he had started to be just the slightest more cruel in his different tasks. Pasquale seemed happy about it, but it increased Lovino's self-loath by a load.

Time passed like that until one day, as Romano was sitting in the tavern, mentally tracing 'A's in his head and listening carelessly to what the others were saying, he saw a little boy discretely waving at him for outside the tavern's window pane. Romano checked no one was looking at him, and pretending he just needed to get out, he made his way outside to where the boy patiently stood.

"Mr. Romano…" the boy whispered, tagging him by the shirt and asking him to follow him. Romano shot another look at the tavern, and sure than no one had noticed his lack of presence, grabbed the boy the other and pulled him away from there. When they were finally out of earshot, the boy talked again:

"There are two people waiting for you outside the town…" he said, then he thought about it a little and added: "…in a carriage. No one knows yet, and we managed to delay their arrival here!"

Romano was quite shocked to hear that Feliciano wasn't alone, but pretended to already aware of that and put some gold coins in the boy's open palm.

"Good. Now take me there." He ordered. The boy seized the coins in his hands and beamed. Lovino followed him, feeling nervous each step he made. He suddenly felt conscious of his slightly dark skin, so accustomed to be under the sun for long periods of times, his poor clothes and the lack of a decent pair of shoes. He wondered if Feliciano was in his same state, or even worse, and hoped for the latter. When he arrived to where a carriage was parked under a tree, Lovino suddenly felt like running back to where the tavern was. The boy let out a cry and five other kids left their hiding places, and ran all together back into the town. Lovino was left alone with the carriage, and he made uncertain steps towards it, feeling suddenly sick in the stomach.

When he was just a step away from it, a woman stepped down from where the driver sear was and threateningly waved a frying pan above her head. Lovino immediately reached for his gun, but stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw the man getting out of the carriage.

"Lovino?"

Romano looked before him, his eyes wide and his heart beating frantically in his chest, as a thirteen, maybe fourteen, years old boy slowly approached him, looking a little nervous. What Lovino immediately realized was that Feliciano was as tall as he was, despite their age difference. His skin was pale in comparison to Lovino's one and what he immediately noticed was that he was wearing much elegant and expensive clothes than Lovino ever will.

Lovino and Feliciano stared at each other for a long moment, taking in their differences and how much they changed since they last saw each other six years before, and then Feliciano ran to him and hugged him close.

"Oh, Lovino! I was so worried!" Feliciano suddenly cried. Lovino remained still, and he suddenly wondered if Feliciano wasn't worried about him dirtying his nice clothes by hugging him. He immediately erased the thought and put a hand around Feliciano's shoulders, trying to push him away.

"Feliciano… how? When…?"

Feliciano looked at him and grinned widely. Lovino was suddenly reminded of their mother and he immediately felt a wave of melancholy wash over him. Feliciano had their mother same features, the same delicate and kind smile, and Lovino felt suddenly jealous that Feliciano had become much handsomer than him.

"Oh! I have so many things to tell you!" Feliciano was enthusiastic, and suddenly turned to look at the woman behind them. Lovino looked at her, and suddenly realized that he had already seen her before. The woman smiled and put the frying pan away.

"I'm Elizabeta! I'm sorry about before… you looked so menacing…" she said, "I don't know if you remember me, you were so young, but I was Roderich's wife…"

Lovino suddenly 'oh'-ed in recognition, as he remembered the beautiful woman leaving with Roderich and Feliciano from the mansion that day so many years before. She had changed a lot too, becoming a much more beautiful and mature woman. Nevertheless, she had a glint in her eyes that Lovino was sure wasn't there when he first saw her back then.

"We are part of the Resistance, Lovino!" Feliciano exclaimed and put his hands on Lovino's shoulders, gaining his brother's attention once more.

"So I heard…" Lovino said, suddenly furrowing his eyebrows. "You shouldn't go and shout that out loud, or else you are going to get in big trouble!"

"There is no one else here, and, anyway, you are going to be part of it soon, so why shouldn't I tell you so?" Feliciano said, beaming. Lovino blinked at him in confusion. "We have so many things to catch up on! Hurry up or…", Feliciano took his hand and pulled him towards the carriage.

"I'm going to be… _wha_t?" Lovino cut him, and Feliciano suddenly stopped in his tracks. This time it was his turn to look totally flabbergasted and he looked at Lovino in question.

"I thought you would be coming with me…" Feliciano said. "After all, I told you in my letter to come meet me so we can leave together if you managed to set yourself free …. Didn't you read the letter?"

Lovino wondered whether to tell Feliciano that he couldn't read or not, but decided against it. Nathan hadn't told him that little detail: either he hadn't thought Lovino would ever have the time to go meet his brother, as he was supposed to work all day long in the fields, or he thought that Lovino would be clever enough to take the opportunity and leave as fast as they could, despite being a servant in that mansion or not. Either way, Nathan was wrong.

"Feliciano." Lovino cut his brother and looked down, feeling suddenly nauseous about what he was going to do. "I am still a servant."

Feliciano stared at him for a long moment, clearly not understanding what was going on, and then he furrowed his eyebrows and said:

"But you're here…" Feliciano said, "How come then you can come to town?"

"Commissions…" Lovino said, but he chocked on his own words. He hoped Feliciano didn't realize he was lying and that he wouldn't be dumb enough to keep pressuring about it. Feliciano, on the other hand, seemed totally lost for a moment, but then shook his head and grabbed Lovino's hand once more:

"It doesn't matter!" Feliciano smiled and pulled him to where the carriage was, "This is your opportunity to escape!"

"I can't, Feliciano!" Lovino suddenly showed restrain. Feliciano stilled and looked at his brother:

"Don't tell me you still want to be a servant for Carriedo!" Feliciano exclaimed, outraged, "You can't do that to yourself! Do you want to keep being used by Carriedo and…!"

"Please, don't talk about him as if you know him." Lovino cut and immediately closed his mouth shut, suddenly realizing what he had just said. Feliciano stared at him, blinking in confusion, and then, unexpectedly his face softened and he put his hands on each side of Lovino's face.

"Lovino…" Feliciano whispered, and Lovino flushed red under his brother's touch. He had been found out. He just knew. "Lovino." Feliciano added, "You think I don't know how it feels like to lose someone you love?"

Lovino looked straight into Feliciano's hazel eyes, and wondered who he was talking about, deciding immediately after that he didn't care at all. There was no way Feliciano could understand what it felt like to love Antonio.

"It's hard, but we have to move on!" Feliciano said, "You can't do this to yourself! You can't deny freedom just because you love someone. What it is more important, Lovino? Carriedo or your happiness?"

Lovino stared at Feliciano for a long, quiet moment. He didn't like Feliciano to talk so maturely to him. He felt like a kid caught his fingers in the cookie jar and he didn't like it one bit. Feliciano had grown a lot since last time he show him, and knowing Feliciano had managed to set himself free at such a young age, made Lovino suddenly angry. Feliciano took his hands off Lovino's face and took his brother hand once more.

"Please, Lovino…" Feliciano said, "If you come with me, we are going to be a family again."

"A family…" Lovino repeated in a whisper. He looked down at Feliciano's hands, and started imagining what it would feel like to live together again. He would be just the shadow of his mighty brother, nothing compared to what he was considered to be there. He would lose Antonio, and he would let Pasquale down, and that wasn't a good thing in itself.

But on the other hand if he let himself be happy… if he finally stopped acting like an idiot… if he didn't love Antonio that much…

"I can't afford it." Lovino said then, the words getting out of his mouth before he could register them in his head. "Feliciano, I…" he gulped, "I'm not coming with you."

Feliciano looked like he had been slapped hard across the face. The shock was so visible in his brother's eyes that for a moment Lovino was tempted to tell him it was a joke and that he would follow him in the end.

"Feliciano!" Elizabeta suddenly cried from behind them. "Some one is coming!"

Feliciano forgot about Lovino for a moment and looked towards where Elizabeta was pointing at. Lovino did the same and he immediately recognized some of Pasquale's guys. They had followed him.

"Shit!" Lovino cursed and grabbed Feliciano by the shoulders. "You have to leave now, got it?"

Feliciano looked at him in question, but then suddenly nodded.

"I'm not giving up to you, Lovino!" Feliciano whispered then, squeezed Lovino's hand one last time and got on the carriage. Elizabeta looked at Romano again, pleading him to just stop being a baby and come with them with just her eyes, but Romano shook his head no. Feliciano waved at him from the window, and then the carriage moved abruptly forwards. Elizabeta shouted at the horses to go faster, and they disappeared from sight in a blink of the eye. Romano glanced at the guys that had suddenly stopped, clearly shocked that the carriage had left so fast, and Romano took advantage of the fact and disappeared inside the woods too.

Romano was sure that that would be the last time he would ever see his brother, despite what Feliciano had told him before leaving. He thought he had made his point clear, and he was sure that sooner or later Feliciano would realize that Lovino just wasn't worth it and would leave him in peace.

However, Lovino had to admit that Feliciano's sudden departure had opened a wound in his heart. Lovino hated himself for letting such an opportunity go, and he suddenly started hating Antonio more than ever. Feliciano had been right, but Lovino couldn't do anything about it. He thought about a lot of excuses: he couldn't leave Pasquale like this, he would kill them both if he knew Lovino had escaped, that the Resistance just wasn't his thing, that the War was close and he didn't want to fight… but everything looked insignificant compared to his real reason for staying.

Antonio returned back to the mansion two weeks after Lovino and Feliciano's short encounter. Lovino knew about Antonio's arrival by the guard itself, and he had started running up the stairs to where Antonio's studio was without much of a thought.

Lovino slammed the door open and saw Antonio putting some things away in his desk's drawers. As soon as Lovino stepped in, Antonio smiled brightly at him, made a bee line to where Lovino was and closed the door behind them. Lovino stopped thinking altogether when Antonio abruptly grabbed him by the shirt, giving in to a lust Lovino didn't know Antonio could posses, and pinned the younger man against the door, kissing him as soon as he had the chance. Lovino kissed back with even more passion, as something akin to euphoria filled his soul.

"I missed you…" Antonio said, his hands running through Lovino's hair. Lovino didn't say anything, just pulled Antonio closer to him instead, and bit his lip. When they finally had to stop to regain their breaths, Lovino pulled Antonio away and sat down on the first chair he could find. He couldn't stand the look of absolute adoration in Antonio's eyes, and he didn't know if he could refrain himself for kissing Antonio's whole body if he did.

So, he said:

"So… how did it go?"

Antonio suddenly turned serious, and Lovino realized that he shouldn't have brought that up in the first place. Lovino cursed himself for saying the most inappropriate things when it wasn't needed, and just stared as Antonio kneeled down to where he was sitting and took Lovino's hands in his own.

"Nothing." Antonio stated, massaging Lovino's fingers with his thumbs. They both stared at Antonio's hands for a long moment, before the older man continued: "I am going to lose everything soon."

"Oh…" Lovino said, and gulped.

"Up north the war already started…" Antonio said. "Soon is going to come down here."

"Oh…" Lovino was at loss with words, and his breath hitched when Antonio's raised a hand to touch his cheek.

"I can't afford a lot of things right now…" Antonio said, his eyes suddenly showing all his pain, "I need to set free a lot of my servants… I can't afford them anymore…"

That seemed to take all of Lovino's attention, and he stared straight into Antonio's eyes, waiting for whatever Antonio wanted to say next:

"Bella and Nathan must…no, _will_ leave."

Lovino suddenly withdrawn his hands as if burned, and his eyes widened comically at the other man. Antonio uncharacteristically remained serious as Lovino suddenly felt the panic arise within him.

"How.. how…" Lovino opened and closed his mouth a lot of time, before he gulped and exclaimed: "How the fuck am I going to do without them? Who is going to fucking cook? And the garden? Haven't you thought about that damned garden?"

"Somebody else is going to take care of it." Antonio said calm. Lovino suddenly felt angry:

"And what about me?" Lovino shouted, putting his hands on his chest, "Do you think I can take care of it all? The fuck is wrong with you! I am going to be completely alone and…!"

Antonio suddenly put a finger on Lovino's lips, shutting the other for good. Lovino suddenly realized his eyes were stinging with repressed tears and he let out a sob when Antonio suddenly caressed the skin over his cheekbone. Antonio's eyes too had suddenly turned red, but, contrary to Lovino, didn't let out his emotions so easily.

"I'll do whatever you want, Lovino." Antonio suddenly said, taking Lovino totally aback. Lovino stared at him, felt his chest burn…. "Just tell me."

"What?" Lovino whispered then, feeling his hands shake.

"If you want to leave…" Antonio answered. "If you want to leave, you can go."

Lovino blinked at Antonio, searched for something in the other man's green eyes, and when suddenly found _it_, Lovino didn't feel that well in the stomach.

"I'll let you go, if that makes you happy. Whatever makes you happy…" Antonio was saying, smiling a little at Lovino. "I'll do anything. Anything you want."

"I…" Lovino was openly shaking, as Antonio brushed some hair away from Lovino's face. Lovino gulped and then looked at Antonio's face once more. He felt the golden cross under his shirt and heard Feliciano's words over and over in his mind. He could…

"I'm not fucking going anywhere." Lovino whispered then, suddenly angry. "Stop looking that sad, bastard! It makes me ill!"

Antonio looked surprised at him for a long moment and then suddenly smiled. Lovino bit his lips, looked away and scoffed, crossing his arms around his chest.

And then Antonio leaned up and found his lips, and Lovino closed his eyes and let himself be lost once more.


	12. Chapter 12

When Bella and Nathan left, Lovino felt as if someone had snatched his heart right out of his chest. He didn't realize what was really happening until Bella put her little things she had into a bag, put on a beautiful dress that Lovino never saw her wearing before (and that he assumed it was a gift from Antonio) and together made their way outside the mansion.

Nathan, along with ten other servants and just one carriage, was waiting for them outside. Lovino didn't know how to feel or how to act, and when Bella, as soon as she saw Nathan, started crying, he felt like crying too. Antonio came soon after to wave them goodbye, but Lovino knew it was only to give some hope to Lovino himself. Antonio glanced at him and stood by his side, as Bella suddenly hugged them both and wiped her tears with a handkerchief she had. When she let them go, Nathan unexpectedly leaned down to hug Lovino too.

"Take care, okay? Kid?" Nathan said, grabbing his shoulders and looking straight into his eyes. Lovino suddenly remembered how much he had been scared of Nathan when he was younger. That had been almost seven years before, and now he could only feel sadness when he realized he won't see Nathan ever again. In that moment, as if he knew that Lovino would fall down without support, Antonio put an arm around Lovino's waist in a very intimate fashion. Bella and Nathan followed that hand with their eyes, and then looked both at Antonio again.

"Will you take care of him?" Bella suddenly asked, her red rimmed eyes darting from Antonio to Lovino and back to Antonio again. Lovino didn't know to whom she was talking about, but he too nodded along with Antonio as an answer to her question. Bella sobbed again, and Nathan put a hand around her shoulders to make her feel better.

"You shouldn't be so sad." Antonio said then, smiling brightly at her, "You are free now."

Bella's lips twitched a little upwards, but then became serious again as soon as her eyes met Lovino's ones. She was worried sick, but there was nothing she could do about it, and, led by Nathan, she made her way to the carriage.

Lovino's heart was beating frantically in his chest, and he even made a step forwards as if to stop Bella from going. She and Nathan got into the carriage, while the other servants preferred to make their first steps into freedom on foot. Everyone talked excitedly among each other, totally in contrast to what Lovino was feeling right then. Antonio pulled him a little closer to him, and Lovino looked finally down at the arm around his waist. Suddenly feeling embarrassed, he slammed Antonio's hand away and walked a little away from him.

"Goodbye, Lovino!" Bella exclaimed at him from inside the carriage as it joggled forwards.

"Goodbye, kid!" Nathan said immediately after, waving at him from the window. "And Carriedo! Don't you ever dare hurting him!" he shouted then after a moment of thought.

Lovino and Antonio both raised a hand in the air in salute and watched the carriage disappear in the distance. When the gates finally closed again, he turned abruptly around and made his way inside the mansion. Antonio tried to stop him, but before he could say anything, Lovino retorted:

"Let me the fuck alone for once!" and run inside, down the stairs and into the kitchen's familiar surroundings. Bella's scent was still present as soon as Lovino made his way to their shared bedroom. The makeshift bed they had been sharing for seven years was still undone, and Lovino suddenly noticed a red bandana lying under it. Lovino picked it up and looked at it for a long, quite moment and then reached for something in his back pockets. He took the packet of cigarettes he had stolen from Nathan when he hugged him, and put the bandana next to it.

Those were the only things that were left for him. Lovino was never going to see them again, he would bet on it.

Without thinking, he took one of the cigarettes out and lighted it with a match he found inside the little package. Lovino stared at it, his hands trembling slightly as he did so, and put it between his lips. As soon as he took his first drag, he started coughing maniacally, and it took all his self-will to keep smoking that little but dangerous stick.

Lovino dropped down on the bed, cigarette between his lips, and finally decided that that was how loneliness must taste like. He wondered if Nathan smoked because he felt lonely. He never had a chance to ask, but he supposed that, now that he had Bella forever by his side, he didn't need his cigarettes anymore.

It was his turn now.

With that thought Lovino broke down in tears.

Considering Lovino was supposedly working in the fields again, The Matron decided to pipe in and make herself useful by becoming the next cook. The Matron, moreover, looked every day just a little weaker, and Lovino would often find her sitting down, knife in hand and panting heavily, rather than doing something. It was no surprise then when, one day, Lovino woke up listening to a male voice singing quietly in the kitchen instead of The Matron's heavy panting.

The man in question was no other than Roberto himself, the guy that had acted so nicely to him when Lovino went to work in the fields for the first (and last) time in his life. Roberto had smiled cheerfully at him, waving at him with his knife still in his hand, before returning to the breakfast he was making.

"Hey, how are you?" Roberto asked, as Lovino slowly made his way downstairs. "It's been a long time!"

Lovino took in Roberto's changes over the time and decided that he didn't look any different from the last time he saw him. He just looked much happier now that he was the new cook and didn't need to roast himself to death under the sun anymore, working in the fields guarded by those crazy guys Lovino now called his bosses.

When the new cook was finally found, The Matron decided that maybe gardening was her dream job. Lovino couldn't disagree more, though, as one morning he caught her cutting down a whole healthy tomato plant rather than harvesting it. Lovino thought someone stabbed his heart when that happened, but he didn't say anything, as The Matron, despite her faltering health, was still terrifying in Lovino's eyes.

Lovino didn't need to worry for long, thought, as one day, seemingly out of the blue, The Matron couldn't be found anywhere, neither in the kitchen nor in the garden. Unfortunately, Roberto wasn't as good as Bella was in picking up the different things that went on in the mansion, and, when asked, Roberto couldn't do but shrug his indifference to Lovino.

Antonio would have known, Lovino supposed, but since Bella and Nathan's departure, he didn't feel like seeing him anytime soon. Sometimes in the night Lovino missed Antonio so much he couldn't sleep. In those moments he wanted to just stand up and run up to the other's room and stay by his side all night long. The rational part of Lovino's mind made him reconsider his emotions, and he would curse himself to sleep for being so weak. Antonio had kept his promise and had let him in peace for the time being, but Lovino couldn't refrain from thinking that, if Antonio really wanted him, he would have come pestering him in the kitchens rather than leaving him alone like that. The fact Antonio couldn't read the weather and understand what Lovino really wanted, made Lovino hate him even more.

The next time Lovino met Antonio it was the next time Lovino finally met The Matron again. When one evening he returned to the mansion after a long day following Pasquale in town, Roberto came in search of him with shocking news.

"The Matron is searching for you." Roberto said, "She said to go to her room as soon as you returned. What do you think she wants?"

"I don't know and I don't give a damn." Lovino just stated, and with his heart beating frantically in his chest, he made his way upstairs to where he knew The Matron's room was.

Lovino had never been in The Matron's bedroom and he frankly had hoped he would never see it. He felt like he was stepping inside the cave of some wild animal and that he would never see the sunlight again after that. He knocked on her door and waited for an answer.

"Come in…" a feeble voice said, and Lovino gulped his fears down and opened the door. The room wasn't as big as Lovino had first supposed, and inside there were only the most necessary things, like a bed, a chair and a trunk where Lovino thought The Matron held her things. The Matron was lying on the bed, and she didn't even move her head to greet him when he stepped in. Lovino closed the door behind him and listened to her heavy breathing for a moment, before he decided to do something and said:

"Did you want me?"

"Yes…" The Matron said and raised a bony finger, "Sit down."

Lovino looked around and saw the chair she was pointing at. He did as told and waited for her next words.

"You know what?" The Matron said, her voice just a whisper. "I never thought you would last so much. I always thought you would be out of here much sooner…"

Lovino flushed a little red with anger, but didn't comment on The Matron's words.

"Is there something you want?" he spat instead, but The Matron ignored him. She coughed loudly and tried to move to a sitting position, but to no avail.

"I really hated you, you know…" The Matron said, "At least at first…" she coughed, "…you calling me an ugly bitch and all those nice adjectives… you are a wild one… you really are a jerk sometimes…"

"Thanks, now…" Lovino cut her, but The Matron raised a hand to shut him up.

"Do you know why you are here?" The Matron said, but didn't wait for an answer: "Rome Vargas was a really powerful man… your father was… amazing and terrifying at the same time… I met him once… when I was your age of something… and I was… I was…" she started coughing again. Lovino looked down, suddenly fearing her next words. "He did so many good things… but many bad things too… it's no wonder many want to follow his steps… he was an amazing man…"

"Yes, but…" Lovino tried again to put some sense in that conversation, but The Matron cut him again.

"Carriedo would have liked to be like him. Many would have liked to be like him, but no one will." The Matron said all at once. She stopped to regain breath and then continued: "You are here because Carriedo felt like he would have some of his… power if he managed to control you… make you his… do you understand what I'm talking about, son?"

Lovino closed his eyes and took a big breath before answering.

"Yes."

"I though he would have abused of you…" The Matron said, straight to the point, "At first, I was supposed to make your life a living hell… and he would be the nice guy…."

Lovino gulped and hid his face behind his hands.

"He would have been the nice guy…" The Matron said, "…and you would run in his arms. Sooner or later, you would have loved him as much as you hated me…." The Matron seemed lost in thought for a moment and then added: "But he never touched you, did he? I wonder why he never made that step in the end…"

Lovino tried hard not to hitch at her words. The Matron didn't know about him and Carriedo, she knew nothing about what Carriedo had tried to do when Lovino was thirteen, and she knew nothing about how Lovino felt towards Antonio now… Lovino wondered if he should tell her, but then decided against it.

"Why are you telling me all this?" Lovino suddenly asked.

"Because you should know that you shouldn't trust Carriedo that much…" The Matron said, "Carriedo is not interested in you… but in the fact your father's blood runs through your veins… he didn't try to take you now… but he may one day… you should not trust him…" The Matron moved a little and looked at Lovino straight in the eyes. "After all… everyone has their dark secret… no?"

Lovino and The Matron shared a long look, and Lovino felt suddenly naked under the Matron's stare.

"H-How?" he suddenly stuttered, flushing a little as The Matron suddenly smiled smugly at him.

"I know you work for _them_…" The Matron said, "I know you don't work in the fields."

"B-but…"

The Matron suddenly looked up at the ceiling again, and sighed:

"When you said you wanted to start working in the fields… I asked Roberto to keep an eye on you… made sure you wouldn't do something stupid, and to help you out… in case you needed it… but he returned that day telling me than nothing could be done for you…." She sighed, "You… you had shaken your hand with _him_… Roberto was now supposed not to know… he couldn't tell me anything else…"

"Roberto…" Lovino closed his eyes. "Were you the one putting him in the kitchens too?"

"Yes." The Matron said, "He is a good cook after all."

"Is that so…" Lovino wanted to laugh. The Matron words hurt him a lot, but not in the way they should have. "Why are you telling me this… you hate me."

"I don't." The Matron promptly said, "I just envy you."

Lovino felt like being slapped hard across the face and he stared open mouthed at The Matron.

"I am a servant's daughter…" The Matron continued. "I've been a servant all my life… I served the Carriedos for generations… I never did anything to trouble this household… I always did as told… but I always…" she started coughing again. "…but I always hoped than one day I would be free… that I would marry the one I love… have kids… be a family outside this mansion… but… I just didn't know how… then I saw you… an arrogant little kid that didn't know his place in this world… always talking back and looking so free… so…" The Matron sighed again, "I would have liked to be like you… if I had been… I would have managed to escape… that is why I never thought you would last that long… I always thought you would have taken the first opportunity and go… like a wild animal in a cage…"

"I didn't."

"I know and I'm surprised…" The Matron said. "Freedom is such a nice word, but it's even nicer when you know what slavery is, especially if you have been a free man before you were a servant…" she looked at Lovino and continued: "What holds you here?"

"Nothing." Lovino immediately said. "Nothing holds me here. I just don't have another place to go."

"You could join the Resistance…" The Matron said. "They say they fight for freedom… you could join them…"

"They fight for stupid reasons…" Lovino said, suddenly feeling silly about talking politics with The Matron of all people, "What they say about North and South being together again is bullshit… we are okay like this… we don't need them…"

"You are so proud of yourself." The Matron said. "I understand, though… when someone has been under so many rulers… they cannot refrain from thinking that they can manage perfectly fine on their own for a chance… and be finally left in peace…"

"Those are my thoughts exactly." Lovino said. "The North will be just like another ruler of this country."

"Maybe." The Matron said. "Maybe not."

"And anyway…" Lovino said, "They will always look down on us…" he suddenly wondered if he was talking about his brother after all, "… they will always think that they are better than us and will always tell us what to do and how to do it… that's not freedom… it's worse than slavery…"

"Then you may fight for your country's independence…" The Matron said, "Even that is a good reason to leave this mansion."

Lovino couldn't go up against the Matron words, so he remained silent as the Matron started coughing again.

"I'm glad that Carriedo hasn't abused of you after all…" The Matron suddenly whispered. Lovino looked at her, as she made herself comfortable. "Otherwise you would have always been his servant… forever his …" she coughed, "… and all that discipline you don't have… all that arrogance… that anger… that pride… would have gone to waste… I would have liked to be like you… you look a lot like your father in the end, Lovino…"

She suddenly closed her eyes, and Lovino took it as a clue to leave. He didn't say anything as he made a bee line to the door. Her heavy panting continued for a few moments and when Lovino opened the door to step outside, her breathing stilled for good. It was only then that Lovino realized that that had been the first time The Matron had called him by his name.

When he finally closed the door behind him, he decided to see Antonio in his studio. He knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for an answer. Antonio looked up at him from the book he was reading, but before he could say something, Lovino interrupted him:

"The Matron's dead."

Antonio furrowed his eyebrows, then dropped the book and followed Lovino's outside.

In the next days Lovino suddenly realized that something was changing in town. The people were starting to look restless, and the gossip about the wars up North was starting to look more and more real. Many looked excited about the change of events, others looked balkier about it.

Pasquale, on the other, seemed to hate and love the idea at the same time. Lovino could see that he was thinking about expanding his business in the North, which meant more money coming in, but that he was considering the fact that maybe he wouldn't manage to do as he pleased in the end. Not everyone thought in the same way the locals did, and maybe these wars could mean the end of him after all.

What was certain, however, was that Pasquale wanted the Carriedo mansion at any cost, and that Carriedo's presence there was a big obstacle in his plans. Lovino never participated when Pasquale would start telling the other about his plans of invading Carriedo' propriety and he didn't care why Pasquale wanted it so much. Nevertheless, Lovino would keep him up with the current events of the Carriedo's mansion, and the fact there were thirteen servants less in there made Pasquale really gleeful.

"And I have already some of my men inside." Pasquale would said, "One of them being you, Romano." He would pat his shoulder and add: "I'm really glad to have you."

Romano didn't share his joy, though.

Since The Matron's death, her words kept running circles inside Romano's head. He would think about what she told him for hours on end, wondering what would happen if he just did as she had said.

Lovino was acting ridiculous by not doing anything.

_"What it's more important? Carriedo or your happiness?" _his brother had said.

"_Then you may fight for your country's independence." _The Matron had said.

Since the day Lovino had stepped inside that mansion he had wanted nothing more than being independent again. He had risked being Adnan's slave once, and had managed out of it only because Carriedo had been there to save him. But now that he needed to get away from Carriedo, who would save him?

Lovino didn't want to leave Antonio. Only the thought that he may not see him again, made him nauseous. It was in time like those that Lovino would realize that he loved Antonio more than he loved his own life, and a love like that can only lead to trouble for both of them.

He didn't know if Antonio loved him. He supposed he didn't, considering all The Matron's had told him before she passed away. Antonio just wanted him because he was his father's child and not because he was he. If Feliciano had been in his place, Antonio would have loved Feliciano instead. Lovino wouldn't have blamed him, really. Feliciano was handsomer, more delicate looking and didn't cuss so much. Feliciano didn't have any problems in showing his real emotions and he was more open to hugs and kisses that Lovino was.

Antonio would have liked him best.

Instead he was stuck with Lovino.

Maybe it would be best for Antonio if Lovino just left. He should have taken the opportunity when Antonio had asked him if he wanted to leave.

But he didn't.

_"What holds you here?"_ The Matron had asked.

Antonio held him there. Only the idea that Antonio slept in the same mansion held him there. The tingling on his lips after Antonio kissed them held him there. His hands, his smile, his eyes, his voice, his whole being… held Lovino _there_.

But if Antonio would have liked Feliciano best was it worth it that Lovino remained?

His brother wanted them to be a family again. The Matron wanted him to follow his father's steps and become independent. Bella and Nathan would have loved it if Lovino had followed them instead of staying. Lovino himself wanted to be free again.

Was Antonio worth it after all?

Love doesn't last. He was just a teenager with rampaging hormones that made Lovino thought Antonio loved him and that he couldn't live without him. What would happen if one day he woke up, realized that his crush on Antonio was over and he was still a servant to him?

Lovino must make his choice.

Lovino wanted to be independent.

When that thought finally sank in it was already past midnight. The mansion was silent and, as the kitchen was now empty of Bella, Lovino had no problem of making his way outside without waking anyone up.

He climbed the stairs and made his way in Antonio's bedroom, where he was sure Antonio was sleeping soundly in his bed. The door was unlocked, and Lovino stepped inside into the dark room. He accidentally made a noise then, and Antonio sprang up to look at him. Lovino held his breath as Antonio suddenly pointed his gun at him.

"Lovino?" Antonio suddenly whispered, recognizing Lovino's face in the dark, and dropping his gun down. Lovino nodded and slowly, shaking with fear and trepidation, climbed onto Antonio's bed and stopped only when their faces where just a breath away from each other.

"Is there something wrong?" Antonio whispered then, touching Lovino's face with his fingers. Lovino ignored the shivering running down his spine and just leaned to kiss Antonio on the lips. For once Antonio understood what Lovino wanted and kissed him back with passion, as Lovino ran his hands over Antonio's naked chest. When they parted, Lovino found the opportunity to take his own shirt off and discarded it somewhere behind him.

"Are you sure?" Antonio asked.

"Just shut up."

Antonio's hands were suddenly on his back, slightly caressing the feint scars he had since that first day when he tried to escape. Lovino had forgotten about them and only remembered the past when Antonio touched them with his fingers. Suddenly, as if Antonio had remembered them too, he pushed Lovino on the bed and started kissing his neck.

"I should have been there sooner."

"Just _shut_ _up_!"

Lovino raised his hand and ran his fingers through the other's unruly hair, as Antonio kissed a path downwards only to stop around his navel. Lovino hitched when Antonio abruptly took his pants off, and moaned when Antonio started kissing his mouth violently again. Lovino opened his mouth slightly and tasted Antonio again.

Lovino didn't know when he was going to be independent, but for the time being he didn't mind being Antonio's just a little bit more.


	13. Chapter 13

"It is just me, or did you get suddenly more handsome?"

Romano didn't know if it was the girl's pathetic excuse to flirt with him, but as soon as he raised his eyes to her face, he realized that she was being serious about it. He had liked Maria a lot back when he was fifteen, but now he didn't really care about her, and not because she wasn't beautiful anymore. Maria was now one of the guy's girlfriends, and Romano doubted he would let him live if Lovino dared touching his girl. Nevertheless, Maria was touching his face like when they were younger, and Romano couldn't refrain from smiling at her.

"It's because you are here with me…" he said, and Maria laughed. Romano kept smiling as Maria finally let go of his face and put her hands on her waistline.

"It's good to see you in a good mood again, Romano!" she said. "It had been depressing seeing you scowling all the time!"

Romano scoffed a little, but at the same time couldn't hide the smile on his face from Maria. Maria shot him a long, knowing look and winked at him, before returning back to her boyfriend's arms, who had been looking at them all the time from the far corner of the tavern. Romano glanced at him for a moment, waited for him to suddenly relax and understand nothing was going on, before returning back to the gun in his hands.

Romano was waiting for Pasquale's orders, but, differently from every other day, Romano wasn't thinking about what he was supposed to do that day. His mind kept reverting back to that morning, when he woke up next to Antonio. As soon as he was reminded again of that moment, he started blushing again.

_Antonio had been holding him close, and Lovino had started inspecting the other's hands like they were the most interesting thing in the world, as if in that way he could forget with whom he was laying with. He had run his thumb up and down the veins on Antonio's right wrist, and felt the warmth coming from the other's body. _

_"Damn, your hands are fucking ugly…" Lovino had said in a whisper, and suddenly he felt Antonio shaking behind him. "What?" Lovino asked, quite offended, and he was surprised when he realized that Antonio was laughing._

_"May I ask why?" Antonio asked then, a note of amusement in his voice. Lovino snorted and took Antonio's hand closer to his face. _

_"They are ugly…" Lovino started blushing, not sure if he should say the next words or not, "…because I know you have touched that whore with them! Probably he hadn't been the only fucking one!" he angrily whispered, and dropped Antonio's hand again. Finally free, Antonio decided to pull Lovino closer to his body and laughed softly again._

_"Come on… it's not like you haven't touched anyone before too!"_

_"Well, it's fucking different!" Lovino scoffed, and crossed his arms on his chest in the best way he could while being held just like that by Antonio. Lovino suddenly felt Antonio's head between his shoulder blades, and his heart started beating madly as Antonio pressed a butterfly-kiss on his shoulder. _

_"I swear I'm not going to touch anyone else after you." Antonio solemnly said, "I am going to be yours forever. Does that make you happy again?"_

_Lovino had decided not to answer to his question and just said:_

_"Don't promise something like that…"_

"Romano? Romano? Romano!"

Romano was suddenly pushed out of his daydream and looked at Pasquale staring down at him in confusion. Pasquale raised an eyebrow at him and then pointed at Lovino's gun.

"If you keep polishing it, it will turn into a mirror." Pasquale said jokingly. Romano blushed and put the gun away. Pasquale sniggered and then crossed his arms over his chest. "Is my Romano in love~?" he asked then making fun of him, and Lovino let out a sigh and looked at him, trying to look murderous.

"None of your fucking business!"

Pasquale sniggered again, but, fortunately, didn't push the matter any further. He suddenly turned serious and said:

"I need you to go to the barber for the money he owns me."

Romano nodded, and stood suddenly up. He was lazily making his way out, when Pasquale called his name again.

"And Romano! Introduce us to the lucky girl one of these days, will ya?" the older man said and started laughing. Romano never remembered slamming the door so hard before.

Romano wasn't in a mood to follow Pasquale's orders, and his heart wasn't in it when he arrived to the barber's shop, ordered the clients to fucking leave and stared as the little man started shaking like a leaf in the wind.

"I'm sorry!" the barber said, his eyes glued on the gun Romano was using to scratch his chin. "I'm sorry! But I don't have the money! I swear! My wife is really sick and we have three kids! Business is bad and… and…"

"Yeah, yeah… that's what you said the other time too…" Romano said, leaning on the counter, and almost trying not to yawn. "Business is bad and all that shit."

"I swear! I swear!" the barber was ready to cry, but Romano wasn't at all moved. "With the war and all that stuff going on-!" he gulped as Romano suddenly pointed the gun at him.

"Don Pasquale isn't going to be happy, you know?" Romano said. "He is sick and tired of your excuses, and-!"

Some girls started to cheer outside, and both Romano and the barber turned to look out of the window at them. Romano raised an eyebrow, as, suddenly, three men wearing red uniforms walked down the street, looking too confident with themselves. What Romano immediately realized was that they didn't live in town, he would remember them if they did, and that they were too pale and tall in comparison to everybody else. Some girls were following them, giggling and talking among each other enthusiastically. A moment later the three men and the girls disappeared behind a corner, and the barber suddenly found the courage to talk:

"The Resistance is here…" he whispered. Romano abruptly turned his head to him, and pointed his gun once again between the other's eyes.

"What did you say?"

The barber suddenly paled and gulped.

"Those were Resistance members!" the barber exclaimed, "Please don't kill me! I swear I'll find the money in a week! Just give me a week and…!"

Romano wasn't listening anymore to him, as his mind was on the three men in the red uniform. His heart was beating frantically in his chest and he didn't have the time to deal with the barber anymore. If he wasted one second more on this man, he would lose his chance to talk to the Resistance members… he needed to do something quick.

"Listen!" Romano said, suddenly shutting the barber up. "I'll pay for you this time! Just _this time_!" he repeated threateningly through gritted teeth. The barber's eyes suddenly glowed with hope, and Romano almost cursed himself. "But, mind you! If you say anything at all to Pasquale, I swear you won't live enough to see your wife getting better again! And don't think next time I'll be the one coming here!" he added then, hating the fact the barber was almost grinning. "It will be the end of you if you don't pay next month, got it?"

"Oh, thank you! Thank you, Don Romano!" the barber suddenly started cry in joy, took Romano's hand and started kissing it. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Romano tried to get free, but the barber didn't look like he wanted to let him go any sooner.

"Okay! That's enough!" Romano exclaimed, pulling his hand away and hiding his gun again. The barber had kneeled down on his knees and was thanking Romano with tears in his eyes. Romano didn't even glance at him for a last time, as he stepped outside the shop and started running to where the Resistance members had disappeared.

The three men were nowhere in sight, and Romano started asking everyone if they had seen them. The people in town were too scared of him to lie to him, and Romano managed to find the Resistance members quicker than he hoped. They were standing before the baker's shop, listening to the girls describing them the different types of bread. As soon as the girls saw Romano, they screeched and started running away, leaving the three men confused and just a little bit disappointed.

"You are the Resistance?" Lovino said, panting. The three men looked at each other and then stared down at Romano with suspicions. Their hands were almost reaching for their guns, but Romano raised his hands to the air, suddenly stopping them in their tracks. "I don't want to fight!" Lovino exclaimed. "Are you the Resistance?" he asked again. The three men looked at each other once more, and then the one standing on the left, the youngest, said:

"Yes."

Romano let out a sigh of relief and dropped his hands. He made a step forwards, but stopped as soon as he noticed that the three men were still suspicious of him.

"I want to ask you something…" Lovino asked, his voice just a whisper. He checked no one was around and continued: "Do you know Feliciano Vargas?"

The three men comically furrowed their eyebrows together, as if they were one, and Lovino realized that he had their full attention now.

"He is my brother." He whispered. The youngest suddenly oh-ed and finally let out a smile.

"You are Feli's brother?" he said, cheerful, "Now that you mention it, you look very much alike!"

"You know him?" Lovino said hopefully.

"Everybody knows him." The one on the left said, serious, looking much older than the rest of them. The one standing in the middle that had been silent all the time nodded.

"Are you going to see him soon?" Lovino asked then. The older man shrugged.

"Who knows…" he said, "Maybe."

"What do you need him for?" the youngest said, much more talkative than the other two.

"I need you to tell him something for me." Lovino said. "I need him to know that I'm coming with him."

The three men furrowed their eyebrows again, but only the youngest one seemed to look happy about it.

"I'll tell him!" the youngest said, putting his hand on his heart, as if he was swearing Romano so. "You want to become part of the Resistance, right? Well! He'll be really happy when I'll tell him so!"

Lovino couldn't wait to go home that evening. He suddenly felt exhausted by all that had happened that day, even if it wasn't much. Talking with those three men had drawn all the energies he had in his body, and the thought that Feliciano will finally know that Lovino had agreed to take part into that madness made him more sad than happy. Lovino had finally made the big step, the one that will slowly draw him away from Antonio.

When he returned he was told Antonio was in the back garden, and he indeed found him there, staring up at the almost ready lemons on the lemon tree. Lovino snorted at the other's expression on the other face, and, suddenly feeling courageous, approached Antonio, grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him on the lips. Antonio seemed surprised at first, but then kissed him back, and when they finally drawn apart, smiled brightly at him.

"Lovino!" Antonio had said, looking so stupid as he said so. Lovino wanted to snort at that, but then decided to remain silent as Antonio took his hand and pulled him closer.

"What?" Lovino asked then, feeling suddenly weird in the stomach. For a moment he wondered if he should spill the beans and tell Antonio that he was going to leave sooner or later, but then decided against it.

"I love you." Antonio said then, his face softening and his eyes not leaving Lovino's hazel ones. Lovino almost fell down at Antonio's statement. His heart skipped a beat, and his eyes became wide as saucers. He didn't know what to say.

"I should have told you sooner!" Antonio continued, smiling. "It feels great to tell you so! I love you!" he repeated then. Lovino didn't know whether to kick the other in the chin or kiss him again. He did neither and just stared at Antonio like he was crazy.

"You are crazy."

"Yes, for you!" Antonio said, sounding as cheesy as his own words. Lovino suddenly felt the urge to hit him getting stronger. If only Antonio stopped looking so stupid when he said so, Lovino would have actually kissed him.

"Can you be serious for once?" Lovino suddenly exclaimed. "Damn! You are saying you love me like it's a joke! We just have been fucking kissing and we had sex just once-!"

Antonio shut him up with a kiss and laughed when Lovino looked at him confused.

"Could you please stop shouting?" Antonio said, sniggering, "Now everybody knows."

Lovino's face became red like a tomato, shut his mouth with his hands and almost fainted for all the embarrassment. Antonio laughed at the other expression, and then with his most serious tone of voice said once again:

"I _love_ you."

Lovino didn't have the strength to answer him, and Antonio decided that that was a good time to pull Lovino's hands away from his face and kiss him again.

From that day on, Antonio waited for him in the back garden every evening, smiling cheerfully like always as soon as he stepped into the mansion. Antonio had unexpectedly started taking care of Lovino's tomatoes, along with the other plants in the back garden. Lovino had been surprised when he saw Antonio work for the first time, and he was shocked when he learnt from Roberto that Antonio had started helping his own servants with housework.

"It is as if he is another man!" Roberto had said. "Wait and you'll see he'll come down here in the kitchen pretending to cook dinner for us sooner or later!"

Lovino had laughed at this statement, but he too had to agree that Antonio was capable of doing something as crazy as that. He liked the way Antonio was so hard-working, as it meant Lovino didn't need to do anything else as soon as he returned home.

He had left his bed down in the kitchens for good and always slept besides Antonio. It felt great to wake up next to him every morning, and it slowly became harder to leave him.

Time passed like this. Days. Months. Lovino turned finally seventeen and slowly made his first steps into adulthood.

Somewhere in May a letter arrived for him. Lovino was now perfectly capable of reading and writing, and when Roberto handed him the letter, he immediately recognized Feliciano's handwriting. He read the short message and smiled sadly to himself.

_When I heard the news, I started crying from joy! I can wait to see you again. Oh, my God, Lovino! We are going to be a family again! _

Feliciano was happy. Lovino just felt sorrow in his heart.

Things only got worse some weeks later. To see men wearing red uniforms had become routine, and now everyone knew that the war was just around the corner. Pasquale immediately seized the opportunity given him and started planning to invade the Carriedo's mansion in three months or so with much more passion than he did before. Lovino listened to Pasquale's plans, and finally decided to answer Feliciano's letter.

When no one saw him, Lovino gave a letter to one of the Resistance member, in which he told Feliciano when and where Pasquale was planning to occupy the mansion and asked him to act accordingly. It was the day Lovino planned to break free again.

Lovino always found himself staring at Antonio's face for long periods of time, as if he could impress Antonio's image in his mind if he did so. Lovino knew he was going to miss Antonio's body, Antonio's hands, his smile, and his eyes… but he never told Antonio so. Antonio caressed his cheeks, kissed his eyelids, made love to him, and never learned Lovino was planning of leaving him.

The day before the occupation, Lovino remained all day long in the kitchens, helping Roberto out. He was lost in thought all day, and Roberto immediately realized something was wrong.

"What's going on?" Roberto asked, putting his knife down on the counter and turning to look at Lovino. Lovino looked at him, not really seeing him, and sighed.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Listen, I'm not stupid! I know you something troubling you and I can stand it! You are my friend!"

Lovino stared at his friend Roberto, and suddenly realized he didn't want him to be caught in the crossfire Pasquale was planning for the day after.

"Roberto…" Lovino said, serious, grabbing the other from the shoulders, "Take your things and leave. Right now."

To say Roberto was shocked was an understatement.

"W-what?" he stupidly said, and Lovino groaned in frustration.

"I fucking know you know I'm with Pasquale, so listen! Damnit!" Lovino exclaimed, "Tomorrow morning Pasquale and the guys are coming here, and this could mean the end of everybody living in the mansion right now!"

"W-what?" Robert repeated again, his eyes wide as saucers. Lovino suddenly took his gun out and pointed it at Roberto's head.

"I don't want to do this…" Lovino said and suddenly felt his eyes sting, "… but if you don't leave right now, I'll have to kill you!"

"W-why Pasquale is coming here…?" was all Roberto could say, staring cross-eyed at the gun pointed at him. Lovino was starting to lose his patient.

"If you stay, you die." Lovino exclaimed, ignoring Roberto's question. "I'm giving you a choice: either you stay, or you save your life and go. I don't want to have your death on my shoulders, understand? Don't try and tell anybody else about this! Pasquale will be suspicious if he finds the mansion empty, but I don't want you to fucking die! So leave. Right now!" Lovino said, and dropped the gun.

Things were going too quickly for Roberto to understand, and it took a while for the older guy to speak. Lovino groaned once more, and Roberto finally caught on.

"Can at least take Carlo with me? He is my best friend…" Roberto asked, almost in a whisper. Lovino looked up at him, and then waved his gun in an affirmative manner.

"Nobody else, though."

"What is going on, Lovino?" Roberto suddenly said, putting a hand on Lovino's shoulders. "My death is not the only thing you are worried about. Please, Lovino. Let us help you…"

"Forget it, Roberto." Lovino said, "Now go. Take the ladder in the back garden and leave from there…"

"What about you, Lovino?" Roberto said, looking desperate. Lovino shared a look with him and didn't answer.

"Go, before I change my mind and shoot you!"

Roberto didn't need to be told twice. Roberto thanked him, hugged him and left with the little things he had in a bag.

"You are a good man, Lovino." Roberto said with a smile. "It's a pity you messed with those guys." He added then and closed the door behind him.

"It's not my fault…" Lovino said in a whisper.

Lovino never saw him again.

As soon as Roberto left, Lovino went up to Antonio's room. They slept together for one last time, and Lovino had to refrain himself from crying when Antonio whispered his name in his ear again and again…


	14. Chapter 14

His breathing was heavy and short. His mind was blank as he stared down at Antonio's sleeping face lying besides him. Antonio was gorgeous, as always, and, as always, didn't wake up when Lovino slowly got out of the bed and started putting his clothes on.

Antonio was now so used to Lovino leaving him early in the morning that he didn't feel the cold spot Lovino would leave behind him anymore. Nevertheless, Lovino always thought Antonio just pretended to be asleep and watched him under half lidded eyelashes when he thought Lovino wasn't looking. Lovino always hoped he wasn't, because the thought that Antonio was staring at his nude back always made him feel a little awkward in the stomach.

This time, though, Lovino seriously hoped Antonio was just faking sleep and that he was indeed staring at him getting dressed. He hoped Antonio would immediately see that something was wrong in the way Lovino moved around the room and that he would run far away from him as fast as he could. Lovino hoped Antonio would read the atmosphere for once, but when he glanced behind him to see, Antonio's eyes were hermetically closed.

Lovino sighed, touched his lips and glanced at Antonio for a last time. It took him a while to move his legs towards the door and it took him a whole more to refrain from returning back into bed again. There was no time for regrets, he reminded himself. Pasquale would be there at any moment. He had to make it quick.

The teenager climbed down the stairs and went to the kitchens. He didn't look at anything around him, he tried to ignore the familiar scent that had kept him company for more than seven years and walked straight to his bed under which he had hid his gun the night before. Then, after making sure it was loaded and ready to shoot, he left the kitchens again and walked up to the mansion's main entrance.

Expectedly enough the door was unlocked, and Lovino smugly walked outside. The two guards were keeping watch of the mansion as always, but as soon as Lovino walked over to them, the one on the left abruptly raised his gun and shot the second guard straight in the heart.

"Good." Lovino said coldly, watching the man fall down on the floor without a sound, his eyes still wide from the shock of being killed.

"He always had been so stuck up. May he rest in peace." The remaining guard said glancing at the body too and then shot another time in the air. The second shooting must have triggered something, because in that moment twenty or more armed men suddenly appeared before the front gates.

Lovino looked at them one by one and recognized the single faces. He had worked with all of them in one point in time, and he suddenly remembered Angelo, who had given his life to protect him years ago. Lovino wondered if they were going to meet soon and the thought made shivers run down his spine.

Pasquale was the last one to come and he was the only one was in possession of the keys. Lovino didn't really care how he got them, his only concern being how his heart started beating fast as soon as the gates opened with a screeching sound. Lovino's blood ran cold as the men started shouting in unison, running over to where Lovino and the guard where waiting for them.

Only then did the servants in the mansion realize what was happening. Lovino heard some maids shouting behind him, men running up and down the stairs, and watched as Pasquale's men along with the guard himself ran inside the mansion and started their planned havoc.

Lovino didn't dare to move, he couldn't, and all he could think about was how much he wanted to run away and never return again. He looked at the dead guard lying at his feet once more and tried to ignore the shouting that went on like a chant behind him. He was glued to the spot and for a single moment wondered if the invasion would have been possible if he hadn't shook Pasquale's hand that day.

Shootings. A man screamed. Lovino looked up and saw Pasquale slowly walking over to him. Another shoot. Screams. Lovino wanted to fly away from everything.

"Good job." Pasquale said, almost smirking, when they were finally face to face. Lovino looked at him straight in the eyes, but didn't comment on it. "Now the mansion will be finally mine." He added then, glancing inside from the wide opened doors.

"What the fuck are you going to do with it anyway?" Lovino suddenly said mockingly, swallowing down his fears and trying hard to look cool with all that was going on. "It's just a damned mansion."

"None of your business, lad." Pasquale said, suddenly angry by the tone of voice Lovino had used with him. Lovino couldn't care less and just shrugged his indifference to him. Pasquale scoffed at him and then raised an eyebrow.

"Is Carriedo dealt with?" Pasquale asked then, chancing topic of conversation. Lovino would have laughed at how calm Pasquale looked despite the chaos that was going on in the mansion in that moment. Lovino doubted he would manage the same air of indifference if he had been in the other's shoes.

"No."

"Oh, well… then I have to do the deed." Pasquale said, smiling brightly and made to finally step inside. Lovino suddenly felt his heart clench and instinctively grabbed the older man by the arm. Pasquale was quick to notice the way Lovino's eyes widened in fear, but didn't ask about it, just stared back waiting for an explanation.

"I want to do it." Lovino said, his voice suddenly raucous. He gulped down and tried to look nonchalant as he uttered the next words: "Remember what I told you so long ago?"

Pasquale stared at him, furrowing his eyebrows for a long time, before he suddenly beamed:

"Ah, yeah…" he recalled, "When we talked about how to become independent! Yes, of course. Either he sets you free or you die or…"

"Or I fucking kill Carriedo." Lovino said, cutting him before he could end the phrase himself. Lovino smiled cruelly at Pasquale and continued: "I want to be the one to kill the bastard. Don't you dare fucking interfere with my plans, got it?"

Pasquale grinned and almost bowed to let him enter the mansion first. Lovino glanced at him, pulled the gun closer to him, and, ignoring whatever was going on around him, almost ran the stairs up to where Carriedo's room was. The marble pavements downstairs were already stained with blood, but on the floors above, where the rooms were, the fights fortunately hadn't stared yet.

Lovino walked alone down the corridor, listening to a woman crying for help on the floor he just left. Lovino ignored the pleading and just made a bee line to the door that led to Carriedo's room. He suddenly remembered all the nights he had done the same path he was doing then, all the times he had pushed the door open and crawled besides Antonio in his bed. Lovino realized that they hadn't spent enough time together as they should have had.

"If things had been different…" Lovino wondered. "If I weren't a servant and he weren't my master… would I have met him? Would I have lo-!"

Lovino mentally slapped and cursed himself for thinking about such things. As if on cue the door to Antonio's room slammed open and Lovino was surprised to see Antonio up and dressed, gun in hand and ready to go down and take part in the fight.

Antonio froze when he saw Lovino, and the younger man took advantage of this and roughly pushed Antonio back inside. Lovino had even the decency to lock the door behind them to make sure no one was going to disturb them and then stood up in front of Antonio. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, neither of them uttering a word. Lovino glanced at the bed, then at Antonio, and then slowly pointed his gun straight between the other's green eyes. Antonio didn't even react, didn't even raise his own gun to defend himself.

"I never wanted to believe it." Antonio simply said, suddenly breaking the silence. Lovino stared coldly at him and raised an eyebrow in question. Antonio smiled at that and continued: "I knew that you were one of _them_, but I never wanted to believe it."

"H-how do you know?" Lovino exclaimed surprised, feeling his stomach churn. Antonio looked at him, the expression on his face making Lovino want to drop the gun. The feeling immediately disappeared as soon as Antonio said:

"Carlo told me."

"C-Carlo?" Lovino was shocked and suddenly pictured the older man in his head. "What the fuck does he have to do with anything!"

"I asked him to take care of you." Antonio explained with a smile, "But he never had the chance, had he?"

Lovino's eyes became wide as saucers and his hands started shaking. He couldn't believe what Antonio was saying. He couldn't believe that Roberto and Carlo had first talked to him because The Matron and Antonio had been worried for him working in the fields. Lovino wondered if Roberto and Carlo knew that they had been asked to do the same job only by different people, but Lovino immediately realized he didn't give a damn.

In fact, he was angry. The thought that The Matron and Antonio had believed Lovino would have needed help made him feel pathetic and useless. Antonio thought he was useless…

"The fuck, bastard-!" Lovino exclaimed, but then stopped, not really wanting to waste energies on the matter anymore. Antonio looked at him straight in the eyes for a moment and then looked down at the gun pointing at him.

"Are you going to kill me?" Antonio asked, his voice soft, calm, almost loving…

"You put me in this mess…" Lovino suddenly whispered, his voice suddenly breaking. He couldn't take his eyes off Antonio, and the fact was frustrating him. "You _forced_ me in this mess." He repeated then, trying hard to believe in his own words.

Antonio looked at him with confusion, and Lovino wanted to laugh at how lost Antonio was looking right them. Lovino felt a lump in his throat. His breathing was heavy. The time was over. He was going to be free.

Finally.

Antonio looked at him, adoringly as always, as if there was no gun separating them. Just a moment more and Lovino won't need to see those eyes ever again.

"I hate you." Lovino whispered then, loving the fact Antonio looked hurt at his words. "You fucking destroyed my life."

"Lovino, listen. I-!"

"No, you listen!" Lovino suddenly exclaimed. He had to take that off his chest before he pulled the trigger. Lovino suddenly recalled all those nights he had planned what he was going to say, how he was going to say it, imagining how Antonio would look like, wondering what being free would feel like…. Now it was the time, and Antonio shouldn't interfere with his plans!

"You destroyed my life, bastard." Lovino exclaimed then. "You took me away from my home and my brother because you fucking wanted to be my dad! _Disgusting_! You forced the Matron to act coldly towards me so you could be a hero in my eyes!" Lovino shouted, raising his voice each statement he said. "You are a sick bastard that wanted to molest me and a-almost r-raped me even if I was just a kid! I was so _scared_ of you! I wanted to work in the fields to fucking leave you and ended up being a member of the most dangerous gang out there!"

"Lovino, I…" Antonio said, raising a hand to him, but Lovino abruptly shook his head and pointed the gun straight at Antonio's heart.

"Fuck you! I killed a man because of you! I sacrificed my happiness because of you! I decided that I never wanted to fucking leave this mansion because of you! You messed with my head! With my emotions! You took my freedom away, my dignity away, my will to fight away, you took my fucking heart away…" Lovino's lower lip trembled as he said so. He suddenly felt angry again: "I was supposed to be fucking normal! Damn it! DAMNIT!"

"Lovino, I'm so sorry for all I done to you…" Antonio suddenly said, "But I love you. I honestly do. And if you decide that taking my life away is a good punishment, then just do it."

Lovino suddenly felt his heart stop and looked at Antonio once more.

"No, taking your life away is not what I want." Lovino suddenly said, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. "I just want to fucking hurt you, as much as you hurt me. I want to take away from you the dearest thing you own, like my sanity was to me."

"There is nothing like that, Lovino." Antonio said, softly. "I have nothing."

"Fuck it, I know you do!" Lovino said, his hand shaking as he said so. "You have me." And as soon as he uttered the words, he suddenly pointed the gun to his head. Antonio's face turned from calm to utterly terrified when he suddenly realized what was going on. Lovino was satisfied with Antonio's reaction. Lovino felt the cold steel on his temple and sighed. He had planned this for a long time. He was terrified of death and it wasn't like he hadn't thought that putting his life to an end like that was the most idiotic thing he would ever do. He would go to hell if he pulled the trigger now.

But he already was a sinner, wasn't he?

Death and hell were nothing compared to a life without Antonio. Lovino had tried to imagine himself with his brother, finally free to live as he wanted. He had tried hard, but the thought Antonio wouldn't be there with him hurt him more.

Lovino laughed, suddenly feeling his cheeks getting wet. Antonio was glued to the spot, staring at the gun with green, terrified eyes. Lovino knew what he was thinking about: whether to step in or not, afraid Lovino would pull the trigger if he dared making a step forwards.

"See where you got me, damn it?" Lovino whispered. "I stepped so low because I love you too much to leave you. You practically destroyed _me_."

At Lovino's words, Antonio suddenly looked calm again. Lovino was shocked by the sudden change in emotion and his hands started to shake as Antonio looked sadly at him.

"How can you make sure I'm not going to kill myself after you do?" Antonio said then, "Your plan of hurting me would be useless then, wouldn't it?"

"I…I… bastard, I…" Lovino was at loss of words, and just stared at Antonio made a step forwards to him, almost daring him to do something about it.

"You know what would hurt me the most instead?" Antonio asked then, putting a hand on Lovino's one and lowered the gun the latter was holding. "If you walked out that door and started a life without me. Knowing I'll never have you, that you are here in this world and I can't touch you will be like hell for me."

Lovino's mouth was slightly opened and he stared at Antonio's face for a long, quiet moment. Antonio took advantage of Lovino's sudden loss and took the gun away from Lovino's hands. Then he suddenly ran a finger under Lovino's eyes, wiping away tears Lovino didn't know he had.

"You are right, Lovino." Antonio said, his voice shaking with emotion. "I am a sick bastard. I fell in love with you since you were a child. But I never wanted to hurt you. Never."

"Too bad you did." Lovino said, the words out of his mouth before he could think about them. Antonio looked completely hurt, and Lovino suddenly hated the way Antonio's eyes looked so sad. It wasn't normal. "Too bad I can't hate you either." Lovino felt his mouth on its own accord.

Antonio looked at him, smiled and then pushed him away, towards the door. Lovino looked at him, took the gun again in his hands, and then, without another word, unlocked the door and stepped outside. He never turned back as he climbed down the stairs. The shootings and the shouting had stopped long ago and the mansion was suddenly free of people. His heart was cold as ice when he finally walked out and the sun hit his eyes. Lovino looked at the fountain's water roaring before him and made some steps towards it.

He was free.

He was…

"ROMANO! The guys had left long ago! Where have you been all this fucking time?"

Lovino ignored the voice and kept going.

"OH! Romano! ROMANO!"

Lovino groaned and looked at Pasquale, who was running towards him. He felt nothing as Pasquale shot him a long, angry look:

"Where do you think you are going?" he shouted. Lovino gritted his teeth and spat:

"Away." Lovino then looked up to where he knew Antonio's studio was before staring at Pasquale again. "But not from you." He added, suddenly insecure.

Pasquale seemed relieved at that, but Lovino didn't give him much time to mull over what he had said, because he then added:

"I know I can't leave you." Lovino said, angry and cold, "And I won't. As long as you promise me you'll never kill Carriedo."

"What?" Pasquale exclaimed, taken aback by Lovino's words. It took him a while to register what Lovino had said and when he did he was furious: "You-!"

"If you kill him, if anything happens to him, I'll know." Lovino cut him, feeling for the first time in his life sure about something. "And all I have learnt about you, about the guys, about all the illegal stuff that is going on with you will be out in the open before you can say 'Shit!'"

"You little brat…" Pasquale gritted his teeth and suddenly took his gun out. "Are you blackmailing me?"

"Duh!" Lovino grinned, ignoring the way his mind practically screamed to him to go away. "I am. Hurt the idiot and you are over."

"What it is Carriedo to you anyway?" Pasquale shouted, "You swore to kill him and yet you are here trying to save his life! What is wrong with you? Did he say something? Did he bribe you?"

"None of your business!" Lovino spat, mimicking the way Pasquale had told him the same thing hours before. Pasquale scoffed and then pointed the gun at Lovino.

"And what if I kill you now, hmm?" Pasquale said, smug, "I can't afford traitors like you."

"If you kill me, you are dead." Lovino stated, suddenly pointed towards the mansion. Pasquale raised an eyebrow and glanced over to where Lovino was pointing at. "And he won't mind being killed afterwards, just so you know." Pasquale saw Antonio was aiming his gun at him and finally realized he had no way out of this one.

"But if you fucking leave us alone…" Lovino continued, his voice softening as he looked up to where Antonio was, "…neither of us are going to damage you in any way."

Pasquale thought Lovino's words over and then, with a scoff he put his gun away, and looked at Lovino straight in the eyes.

"Deal, kid." Pasquale said. "You always had been one of a kind, haven't you? That's why I liked you. You could have taken my place one day. But mark my words! If you say anything, you both are dead meat and, don't worry, I'll always know where you two are."

Lovino stared at him right back, before he said:

"Of course."

Pasquale glanced behind him once more then looked at Lovino with an air of disgust.

"They did say he was a pedophile…" Pasquale said, "But I never thought someone would actually love him back." He tilted his head at Lovino, waiting for some kind of reaction, but he got none.

"Very well." Pasquale said. "Suit yourself. You are mine, kid. You are going to be my fellow henchman till the day you die. If I call you, you run back to me in an instant. Remember that."

"I will." Lovino said coldly, then, without another glance back, walked quietly away. Pasquale didn't stop him, but Lovino felt out of danger only when he was some miles away from the mansion.

When he had finally put enough distance between himself and Pasquale he finally stopped and let out a sob he didn't know he had been holding. In mere seconds Lovino started openly crying and he dropped down under a tree to regain his breath. The adrenaline that had helped confront Pasquale had ran out and he finally realized the dangerous position he had put himself in. He didn't know if Pasquale would actually hold his end of the deal, and he didn't know if Antonio would live to see the next day.

Nevertheless, Lovino was sure he would never see Antonio again. He had managed to break free, maybe not from Pasquale himself, but from slavery. He was now an independent man. He owned his life, his body and soul.

Lovino hid his face with his hands and tried to calm himself down, but it was hopeless. The tears just kept copiously streaming down, and he wanted to hurt himself for being so weak. He felt suddenly empty, and, no matter how much he wanted to stand up and keep walking away, he couldn't.

Seven years before he had cried because he had become a servant in that mansion. Now he was crying because he was finally out of it.

He felt like dying.

Lovino had never imagined it would hurt so much.

So fucking much…

He didn't realize he had company until he saw the shadow of a carriage towering above him. Lovino absentmindedly looked up and stared as the door suddenly opened and a man hopped out of it. Lovino didn't give a damn and just stared down at his feet. The man suddenly kneeled down and hugged him close, and it took all the strength Lovino had left to push the man away.

"Come on, we must go." A merry voice said and Lovino finally recognized the man as his brother. Lovino tried to stop his tears, wiped them roughly away and looked up at Feliciano smiling softly at him.

"What are you doing here?" Lovino said, forgetting he had been the one telling Feliciano when the invasion would take place.

"Come on, Feliciano! We don't have so much time!", another voice shouted, and Lovino looked behind his brother to see a blond man holding the reins of the carriage's horses. Lovino furrowed his eyebrows and suddenly recognized the familiar man. It was one of Antonio's friends, Francis the name if he remembered correctly.

"Come on…" Feliciano said then and helped Lovino to stand up. They got together inside the carriage and Lovino stared at Feliciano like he had been dreaming.

"I've been waiting for you for weeks now…" Feliciano said as the carriage started. Lovino snorted and looked out of the window. He didn't react when Feliciano took Lovino's hand in his. "I'm so glad this is over."

"Yeah…" Lovino said, laconically, and closed his eyes. Feliciano's hand was warm in his, and Lovino suddenly realized how exhausted he felt.

"Is Antonio okay?" Francis said from the front seats, clearly worried. Lovino shrugged, not really wanting to remember Antonio Fernandez Carriedo's existence in this world yet.

"He is." Feliciano said in his place. "Let him sleep, Francis. He must be exhausted."

"Yes, you are right…"

Feliciano squeezed his hand and hugged him once more. Lovino didn't react; he just wanted to be left alone with his pain.

It would take him years, Lovino thought before he finally fell asleep, but he would get over him. Now he was finally free, away from that mansion, Antonio and Pasquale. Now he was finally with his brother.

He would get over it. He would forget kisses in a log house. He would forget someone trying to protect him from Adnan's advances. He would forget a smile brighter than the sun. He would forget green eyes that looked at him so adoringly as if nothing in this world existed. He would forget the first time someone told him they loved him. He would forget a letter carved on the trunk of a lemon tree. He would forget someone trying to teach him guitar. He would forget that the golden cross that was around his neck was once someone's else .

He _definitely_ would.


	15. Chapter 15

**A.N. This, guys, is the last chapter. It was very difficult to write, because I really liked this story after all, but here it is. To make everything better, I made this chapter really long. (That, and I couldn't find a way to cut this in two parts. Lol). Thank you so much for all the love and sorry once more for all the grammatical mistakes you may find! I hope you'll like the ending and, as always, constructive reviews are always appreciated! :) Thank you again!  
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><p><em>Seven years later…<em>

What Lovino loved the most in this world was his car.

Since the War ended four years before, cars started being finally sold out to the population, a clear sign that the War had served its purpose in the end. The damn things, though, were really expensive, and when Lovino finally found the money to get one he decided that no one was ever going to touch his baby. Moreover, Lovino had managed to learn how to drive on his own, saving this way some of his remaining money rather than spend it on useless idiots that thought they could waste his time teaching him how to drive. Lovino was good at doing things himself, thank you very much.

The only time he couldn't do so was throughout the War. It had been three long, slow and painful years, and in order to live Feliciano and Lovino had worked them out together helping the Resistance out and in the end managed getting out of it alive and save. They both hated wars, and Lovino would never forget how much the hours seemed to endlessly stretch as they expected another attack to break. The only thing that helped them remain sane were all the times Feliciano and Lovino had held hands, whispering that everything will be alright to each other over and over again, even when they secretly wondered if Death was around the corner after all.

Despite all bad things that occur in wars, Lovino had to confess that it helped the two brothers get closer and finally erase all those years they had to live apart. By the end of the War they felt like they had never been separated. Even if he would never admit it, Lovino became very dependant on Feliciano in the end.

When the War was finally over, North and South had finally merged into one. Nevertheless, even though masters and servants were no more there were still some people who were slightly wealthier than the rest of the population. Lovino figured that equality would never be a choice, and he was quite annoyed by the fact he and Feliciano couldn't be part of the luckiest members of society after all they have been through.

Nevertheless, Feliciano decided that they should make their own fortune, and, showing a will-power Lovino didn't know his brother possessed, started working hard in order to be dependant only on themselves. Lovino had unwillingly followed his brother's steps, and after a few years they finally had a house to call their own and some fields to harvest. Soon enough Lovino and Feliciano started selling what they produced and were able to afford buying what they lacked. They weren't awfully rich, but they had what they needed to live.

Lovino wouldn't have complained about it if Feliciano hadn't decided one day that they needed help in the fields. Lovino wouldn't have complained about that either if it wasn't for the fact the man Feliciano had decided to invite and stay with them was the most idiotic, pathetic excuse of a human being, macho-head that the world have ever seen. The same man that managed to just increase Lovino's loath for him by deciding it would be an alright thing to just borrow Lovino's 'baby' without asking for consent first.

"The fuck you are going to touch it, bastard! This car is mine! I earned it!"

"Oh, come on, Lovino! He just needs to go to town! It's not that far!"

"Tell the motherfucker that if it isn't that far, he can just as easily fucking walk rather than dirty MY car with those wurst-smelling fingers of his!"

"You are such a big meanie!"

"_Who_? Me?"

"LUDWIG! Help! He wants to kill me!"

At this point of time, Ludwig, the king of fuckers, would sigh, hide Feliciano with that big bulk of his and would say:

"Stop being so childish, please. You are giving me a headache." With that tone of voice that Lovino found so irritating.

Lovino didn't know why Feliciano liked Ludwig so much. The man obviously came from the North, but Ludwig couldn't remember from where exactly. Feliciano had found him walking aimlessly around, asking for a job, and Feliciano had granted his wishes much too eagerly. Ludwig didn't even remember his last name or anything that had happened to him before his twelve years of age. Lovino thought it was stupid to trust someone who didn't even know what his roots were. For all they knew Ludwig could be lying and he was in fact a serial killer of sorts with a preference for cute, brown haired, always smiling and almost too trusting farmers.

Feliciano had ignored Lovino's plight and had welcomed the potato-head inside their home with maybe a little too open arms. When Lovino gave up, he decided it should be better to fuck it all and start sleeping with a knife under his pillow from then onwards, just in case Ludwig tried something funny with Feliciano, who always slept by Lovino's side.

Feliciano totally ignored all Lovino's good intentions, and defended Ludwig with all his might. Feliciano was too good for Ludwig, really, and Lovino hoped that his brother would figure it out sooner or later. For the time being, though, Feliciano kept considering Ludwig to be his best friend.

"It's just a car, Lovino! And it's difficult to find a carriage these days…" Feliciano stuttered from his safe-spot behind Ludwig's back. "…and Ludwig may be strong and muscled, but he can't bring all those potato bags alone on his shoulders!"

Lovino groaned at his words, while Ludwig only blushed, earning a murderous look from Lovino again.

"Besides!" Feliciano started, gaining some confidence by Lovino's lack of response. "He lives here! He is part of the family! You should-!"

Lovino abruptly turned to look at Feliciano, who squealed in fright and encircled his arms around Ludwig's waist for comfort. Ludwig sensed the danger, and, trying to get Feliciano off him, threw Lovino a warning look. Ludwig was quite fed up by Lovino's antics and he wondered how Feliciano had managed to live with his brother all through those years. He let out a loud sigh when he realized that Feliciano wasn't going to let go of him any sooner and ran a hand through his blond, slicked back hair.

"Listen, is not that important, I-!"

Unfortunately, Lovino wasn't listening to him. He just scoffed and said:

"If by living here he became part of this fucked up family, then I should leave, shouldn't I?" Lovino exclaimed, angry. "In fact! Why don't I go and buy that damned house that's for sale? Then you can happily live your fucking life with this potato-head without me!"

"Lovino!" Feliciano whined, immediately letting go of Ludwig and running to Lovino instead, "That's not what I meant!"

Lovino groaned trying to push Feliciano away. Ludwig sighed loudly and decided to leave the two brothers to settle their issues alone. Sometimes he wondered how he was still sane living with those two…

Before he could leave, though, Lovino shouted after him:

"FINE! Just don't break it, or I'll fucking rip your head off, got it?"

Ludwig sighed again. As always Feliciano had won another argument, but Ludwig couldn't say he was happy to own a favor to Lovino of all people. The guy was an irritating, antisocial man, and Ludwig wondered for a moment if he was born that way or he just had trusting issues due to a traumatic event of his past.

"I'm talking to you, _bastard_!"

Ludwig honestly believed that Lovino was just a jerk from birth.

One hundred attempted hugs from Feliciano's part and two mumbled apologies later, Lovino was left alone to sort out his thoughts. It wasn't like those arguments didn't happen on daily basis, but it was the first time Lovino thought he may be right after all. What he had said made him think really hard about the position he had in that house. Lovino didn't really want to leave his brother, not with Ludwig as his substitute at least, but he wondered what it would feel like to have a house all for him. The house Lovino had mentioned was for sale ages now, and the reason no one had bought it still was because it needed too much money for reparations.

Lovino had some money left, but he calculated that he needed to work three years straight for him to actually be able to buy and repair the house without any help whatsoever. Lovino wasn't keen on working so hard for a damned house, so he started thinking of ways he could earn money much quicker and with much less effort.

As he thought about it, the first thing he came up with was the last thing he wanted to do. Lovino had managed to repress the memory for years now and when the images returned back to him full force he felt shivers run down his spine. Lovino could go to the mansion again, the same mansion he had left seven years before, to go and take back that bag full of money he had buried under that damned lemon tree when he was younger. Lovino didn't know if the mansion still existed and, moreover, someone must have surely found his hidden treasure by then. Not to mention Pasquale must be living there and Lovino wasn't in the mood to see that ugly bastard once more.

Lovino didn't want to return there again, so he just pushed the thought out of his mind and returned back to his own business. Once a Pandora's Box is opened, though, there is no turning back, his father used to say, and, alas, Lovino would from time to time think back to that big scary mansion and their owners. He wondered if the mansion had been destroyed by the War or if Pasquale wasn't living there after all and just used it as his Headquarters.

Not once did he think about the former owner of the mansion. That memory would forever be locked inside his heart. It wasn't like Lovino hadn't fallen in love again: how many girls had he managed to seduce after all? Even Francis, that was now their neighbor, showed clearly interest on him. Lovino didn't count him in the list, though, as the pervert seemed to love everything that moved. Lovino swore he even saw him make kissy faces to a rabbit once.

After a week of trying to repress his thoughts, Lovino decided he couldn't take it anymore and that curiosity was too much to ignore. So it was with a little bit of trepidation that he told Feliciano that he needed to go south for business.

"I'm not going to be away for long…" Lovino said, "… and don't do anything strange with that bastard! Don't trust him if he says he wants to spend some quality time with you."

"Why would he say that?" Feliciano asked, furrowing his eyebrows in question. Lovino blushed and waved at him nonchalantly.

"Just don't go with him if he says so, okay?"

"Okay, I won't." Feliciano said with a smile, "What are you going to bring from the south?" he asked then, curious. Lovino looked at him and then shrugged:

"Tomatoes, I guess…"

"Oh, cool!"

As Feliciano waved him goodbye, Lovino started the car and made to leave. He couldn't stop thinking that what he was going to do was stupid, but at the same time he really wanted to see what happened to the mansion. He wondered why he cared so much, and many times Lovino thought of turning the wheel around and return back home.

It took him days to arrive to destination. The view around him changed each day that passed, becoming more arid and hot the more he reached his goal. He didn't remember the place to be so barren of trees when he had been living there, and he wondered if it was all due to the War. He doubted it, though.

After the millionth time Lovino decided it should be better if he just forgot everything, the landscape became suddenly familiar. Lovino slowly recognized the road that connected the mansion to the main town, and his heart started beating frantically in his chest as he saw the manor becoming visible in the distance.

Lovino abruptly stopped and stared at it for a long, quiet moment. He looked around him, noticed he was alone, and then, drawing a big sigh, started the engine again. The more the mansion got closer, the more Lovino felt like dying, and when he was finally before the gates, Lovino almost fainted.

The mansion was in a pitiful state. It was clear no one had been living in it for the past seven years. The windows and the front door had been covered with wooden boards, and the gates were locked with rusty, heavy bolts. The fountain was destroyed, and Lovino noticed that the mansion too was ready to fall down at any moment.

Lovino got off the car and touched the gates with shaking hands. The gates made a terrifying clacking sound, but didn't open. Lovino looked around him, making sure that he was indeed alone, and then tried to jump over the gates. His attempts were fruitless.

"Damn it…" Lovino cursed and put his hands on his waist, thinking of ways he could get inside. He looked around again, and decided to walk all around the mansion's surrounding wall in case there was a hole he could use to get in. His footsteps and the cicadas were the only thing that he could hear, and the fact made everything look like an awful dream to him. Lovino caressed the wall as he walked, felt it hot under his fingers, and suddenly noticed that its southern part had been totally demolished.

He sprinted towards it and stood before the debris for a moment, before he decided it would be safe to step over them. He felt like he had travelled back in time as soon as he noticed he was standing inside the back garden. Nothing was like he had left: the log house was no more, and the weeds had taken over the whole place. There was no trace of his tomato plants, and only some orange trees remained relatively intact.

Lovino made some steps inside and looked around until he spotted what he was searching for. There in the middle of the back garden stood his lemon tree. Lovino's breath hitched as soon as he noticed how much it looked full with life, so in contrast to all the debris and deadness that ruled the surrounding landscape. Lovino slowly walked over to it, and ran a hand on its trunk.

Green eyes filled his mind as his fingers traced a letter carved on the tree so many years before, and what made him feel worse was the fact that it was still legible as if Antonio had traced his dagger on the tree mere minutes before. As soon as the memory filled his mind, Lovino let go of the tree as if burned and kneeled down on the ground instead. He started digging with his bare hands until he found what he wanted.

He let out a scream of joy and cleaned his old bag from the dirt. He was almost afraid to open it, but when he did he wasn't disappointed. Lovino counted the money inside and was satisfied to see it was the exact amount he had left behind so long before. It wasn't enough to buy the house, but if added to the money he had back at home it was enough to repair it.

"At least I won't need to work for three years…" Lovino thought, "If Feliciano manages to sell those damned potatoes, I'll have the right amount of money to buy the house I want in no time."

Lovino sighed and hid the bag in his clothes. His fingers suddenly touched the golden cross around his neck and he looked up at the lemon tree towering above him.

This was the place, Lovino recalled. This was the place Lovino had realized that he was a slave, the place he had realized he had fallen in lo-

No. He shouldn't think about such things.

Lovino stood abruptly up and looked behind him to where the mansion stood. He was tempted to see the state of the mansion from the inside, but then thought against it and made to return back to where his car was parked. Then he stopped again and made a step towards the mansion once more.

"It's not like they are unlocked anyway." Lovino thought then when he found the seemingly closed back doors, "It's just a waste of my time."

He stared at them for a long moment, and then almost mockingly pushed them open. There was a terrifying, screeching sound and Lovino blinked with shock as they practically fell down at his feet. Lovino waited for the dust that rose to settle down and then glimpsed inside.

Everything was silent and dark, and Lovino felt like being in one of those scary ghost stories one of the Resistance's members used to narrate when there was nothing else to do. Lovino was sure a ghost was going to pop up at any minute and it took him a lot of courage to finally make his first step inside.

Even thought there was debris and dust everywhere and spider webs covered most of the walls, everything seemed relatively intact. Lovino looked around and then made his way to the upper floors. No one had touched the paintings on the walls, but when Lovino checked some of the rooms, he realized that everything that held some value had been already stolen. He then wondered if Antonio's studio was in the same exact state, and with his heart beating madly in his chest made a bee line to the familiar room. The door was open, and Lovino immediately saw the chaos that ruled inside that room. Everything was out of order, the books were scattered around the floor and the piano too had been broke apart.

Lovino looked around, noticed the blackboard lying on the floor and suddenly saw Antonio's guitar on the sofa. It looked really out of place there, as if someone had put it there on purpose. Lovino picked it up and, plucking a few chords, noted that it was undamaged.

He stared at it for a while more, then, without thinking, took it with him and returned back down to the back garden again. He was almost running as he made his way to his car.

"What the fuck I'm doing!" Lovino cursed out loud, putting the guitar on the seat besides his and starting the engine again. He was furious with himself as he turned the wheel and put as much distance as he could between himself and the mansion. He was too deep in thought to see where he was going and he realized he was heading to town only when the first houses came into view.

"What the fuck I'm doing…" Lovino repeated then, less angry this time, making his way into town. He wondered if some ghost that lived in the mansion had taken control of his body and that was why he was acting so stupidly. His confusion about why he was doing what he was doing increased when he finally stopped the car before a tavern he used to know so well.

Lovino pensively stared at it for a moment taking in all the differences he could see and then hopped off. Without mulling too much over what he was going to do, he made his way to the familiar building and opened the door. The inside hadn't changed a bit, but the faces that stopped and turned to look at him when he stepped in were more or less new. Lovino looked at them one by one, wondering if he should pretend that he was mistaken and leave, when he finally spotted the only guy that he recognized in the place.

The man returned the look, raised his eyebrows and then unexpectedly rose up to meet him. Lovino froze on the spot and watched as the man –if only he could remember his name!- approached him. Suddenly a woman too appeared from the tavern kitchens holding a bottle of wine that she immediately dropped down on the floor as soon as she met his eyes.

Lovino abruptly turned to look at her and found himself smiling. Maria blinked for a moment and then returned his smile tenfold. It was the man though the one to greet Lovino first.

"Romano?" the man exclaimed, put his hand on Lovino's shoulder and smiled: "It's you, isn't it? Oh, my! You've grown!"

"I… err…" Lovino munched on his own words and turned to look at the woman besides him.

"Oh, Romano!" Maria said, smiling brightly at him. "You are back?"

"No… err… not for long…" Lovino said, his eyes darting from Maria to the man again. The man laughed and patted him on the shoulder.

"It's great to see you again!" the man exclaimed looking honestly happy, "Come! Sit! Have a drink! How's business up North?" the man said, sitting down on the barstool as Maria immediately started pouring some _limoncello _in two glasses. Lovino watched her every movement before he realized what exactly the man had said.

"Business up North?" Lovino repeated. The man gulped down his glass and then sniggered.

"Yes, yes." The man exclaimed. "I know it's meant to be a _secret_, but Pasquale told me all about it! He had sent you up North to expand his business up there, no?"

"Well, yeah…" Lovino said, furrowing his eyebrows at the new information, "But no one was supposed to know…" he lied, wondering what exactly Pasquale had been thinking of when he told the others so. If that was Pasquale's way to save his ass then Lovino shouldn't complain about it, he reasoned. Unaware of Lovino's thoughts, the man laughed and patted him again on the back.

"Well, since I am in charge now, I have all rights to know, no?" the man whispered, grinning. Lovino tried to cover up his shock by drinking some limoncello himself.

"Do you want some more, Romano?" Maria asked when Lovino put his now empty glass down again. Lovino shook his head, but Maria poured some more anyway.

"Where's Pasquale, anyway?" Lovino asked then, his voice breaking a little as he said so. He blamed alcohol for that. The man seemed shocked by Lovino's words and stared at him with wide incredulous eyed.

"Haven't they told you?" the man whispered. Lovino raised an eyebrow in answer. The man laughed disbelieving and shook his head, then he leaned closer to Lovino and said:

"Pasquale was killed a year after the War ended. Before he died, though, he told me I should be in charge and left everything on me. I supposed that the man he said he used to exchange information with you had already told you. That's why I never came in search of you!"

"And here I was wondering what happened…." Lovino said instead, drinking his second glass of limoncello. So Pasquale was dead? Good to know. It meant Lovino was safe for the time being. Unless this man started asking questions, then he was screwed. Lovino decided it was time for him to change conversation and smiling brightly at Maria exclaimed: "So, are you and Maria married now?"

Maria beamed at the question, and immediately started telling Lovino all about the wedding they had four years before.

"We have three kids!" Maria exclaimed, "And they are all so beautiful! The older one…"

Lovino pretended to listen, but in the inside he was really glad that he managed to make the man forget about what they had been talking about before. He let out a sigh of relief and started thinking about what he should do now. If he wanted to be left alone he should keep pretending to still be one of their members and leave town before anyone could ask him what he was really doing. He didn't know if he had the guts to lie to them more than he already did and he was sure that if he stayed a moment more he risked to be caught for real. The guys should never know he had a brother, and that he lived with him. He had to get away and do it quickly.

"Well I have to go now…" Lovino said when Maria finally stopped her rambling about their kids. The man, who suddenly found himself with nothing to do, started drinking limonello directly from the bottle and had almost dropped down on the table drunk. Lovino didn't shot him a second glance and just nodded at Maria, who kept smiling brightly at him.

"As you know I have a lot of things to do…" Lovino added then, standing up. Maria shot an irritated look at her drunken husband and turned to look at him again.

"Of course!" The man said, looking sober for a moment. "We are going to see each other again, no?", he added then, slurring his words a little.

"Yes… well…" Lovino said, slowly making his way towards the door.

"I'm so glad you came, Romano!" Maria said, his old name striking a chord inside Lovino. "You know, here is so boring and I'm glad to have someone sane to talk to from time to time. Nothing really happens here! The last time it did was when that strange Spaniard came in search of someone with a really weird name! But I don't think he was sane enough to start a conversation with…"

Lovino stopped in his tracks. His heart practically stopped beating as he slowly turned to look at Maria again. Surely she didn't mean what he thought she meant, did she? Lovino hoped he had misunderstood her words.

"W-what?" Lovino asked, his eyes wide as saucers. Maria, not at all wary about his sudden change of emotion, just shrugged.

"It was… four years ago or something…" Maria recalled, "Just after the War was over." She specified then, "I don't remember him well, but I'm sure he was crazy. Wasn't he, sweetie?" she asked then, looking at her husband. The man grunted, clearly too drunk to participate in the conversation anymore. "Anyway…" Maria sighed, looking at Lovino again, "…he was nuts. He came asking if we knew… oh, I don't remember the name exactly, but it was a really weird one." She exclaimed, "Lovato? Lino? I don't remember. I never heard that name before, but I'm sure it's a foreign one." She stated with a laugh, "Anyway, we said no, and Pasquale even acted as if he knew what he was talking about and stated that the guy he was searching for was all right and that he should just go the fuck away."

"Weird, isn't it?" Lovino said, laughing nervously. "Did the crazy man ever return?"

"No, I never saw him again." Maria said and then she smiled. "Well! It was nice seeing you!"

"Indeed." Lovino said, glancing at the sleeping man at her side for a last time. "Well. See you." He coughed and left the tavern before he could meet someone else that could recognize him. He got into the car and started the engine as quickly as he could. Lovino swore he would never return to the tavern again.

* * *

><p>All through the ride back, Lovino couldn't stop thinking about what Maria had told him. He couldn't believe a word she said, because he couldn't believe <em>he<em> would actually try and go in search of him. What had _he_ wanted? Had he wanted to see him? Had he wanted to see if he was alive? Lovino didn't want to know and in fact he couldn't comprehend why he was so glad to know that Antonio had actually made it through the War alive. He wondered what he had been doing all of this time. Had he returned back to his homeland? Where did he go? Where was he staying? What was he doing?

Lovino knew that he should forget about it, but as soon as Maria told him that Antonio had fucking searched for him, all kind of questions started popping up in his head. Lovino tried to push them away, but the more he didn't want to think about him, the more he felt like shit for not knowing the answers to his questions. He didn't even know where Antonio's homeland was! Lovino knew nothing about Antonio.

"And it's better that way!" Lovino suddenly shouted at no one in particular. He continued his way back home stopping only to buy the tomato seeds he had promised his brother. He bought a lot so they will always have some at home; glad he spent money on something that wasn't potatoes.

"Talking of potatoes…" Lovino thought, parking the car outside the house, and noticing Ludwig wasn't working in the field. Lovino raised an eyebrow at that and made his way inside, immediately aware something was wrong as the door was practically ajar. Lovino wondered if he should call Feliciano's name, but, just in that moment, a noise caught his ears freezing him on the spot.

It came from the kitchen, and Lovino made a bee line to the aforementioned room with his heart beating frantically in his chest. What he saw, though, would torment him for the years to come. Lovino almost dropped the bag full of tomato seeds -along with his jaw- on the floor as he came face to face with the most terrifying scene of his life: Ludwig kissing Feliciano on the mouth.

"What the FUCK are you doing to my brother?" Lovino shouted. Ludwig suddenly pushed Feliciano away and turned to look at Lovino red in the face. Feliciano, on the other, looked completely lost for a moment before he finally realized in what position he was in. His eyes went wide when he met Lovino's terrified expression and he even had the decency to blush as he said:

"I… errr… oh! Welcome back!" Feliciano laughed a little, "He was… umm… well…"

"I don't give a fuck about what he was doing!" Lovino said, feeling the anger boiling inside him. Then he pierced Ludwig with just a glance and continued: "You damned bastard! Who do you think you are! I'll rip your guts-!"

"Oh, man. You need to get laid, Lovino!"

Lovino froze as soon as he heard the voice coming from behind him. Ludwig sighed loudly and started massaging his temples, while Feliciano waved at the guest in greeting.

"Oh, _Franci_s! How nice to see you!"

Lovino knew that Feliciano was immensely glad that Francis had turned up in that moment, indirectly helping him out from Lovino's wrath. Lovino cursed and turned to look at the man in question finally registering what exactly the man had said. Lovino turned ten shades of red and stuttered:

"I-I don't need to get...! You pervert! Get the fuck out of this house!"

Francis sighed and looked at Feliciano instead.

"I'm here to get the stuff you promised me."

"Oh, yeah!" Feliciano said. He glanced at Ludwig one last time, before walking over to where the door was. "I'll get it in a moment! Ludwig? Can you help me?"

"Don't go near my brother, you-!" Lovino immediately shouted instead.

"Gladly." Ludwig said, ignoring Lovino and following Feliciano outside. Lovino opened his mouth to say something, but Francis stopped him in his tracks by grabbing his butt and immediately making himself comfortable on one of the chairs.

"You son of a-!" Lovino exclaimed, turning his wrath on Francis instead. Francis tut-ed and smiled brightly at him.

"You really should let them be, Lovino! You are just jealous because they are in love~"

"They are not!" Lovino immediately exclaimed. "Stop stating nonsense!"

"As you wish." Francis said, nonchalantly looking down at his fingernails. Lovino scoffed and wondered when this guy would finally leave them in peace.

If someone had told him ten years before that Francis Bonnefoy was going to be his neighbor one day he would have laughed his head off. Lovino still couldn't believe how things have gotten that way and seeing Francis wear farmer's clothes rather than those fancy suits Lovino remembered him wearing was something Lovino still needed to get used to.

Lovino didn't know what had happened exactly. Francis had been as rich as Antonio Fernandez Carriedo had been, but one day, years before the War started, Francis had a big fight with his parents, rebelled against them along with many of his own servants and walked out of his house. He then joined the Resistance and met Feliciano on the way. They immediately became friends as Francis had already met Feliciano when he had been one of the servants of a former acquaintance of his.

Lovino suddenly remembered that Francis had been one of Antonio's acquaintances too and wondered if they were still in contact.

"Like what you see?" Francis teased, pushing Lovino out of his thoughts. Lovino blinked at him and then raised his eyebrow.

"What?"

"Nothing." Francis giggled, "You've been staring at me for an awfully long period of time. Not that I mind, of course."

"Fuck you." Lovino said instead, trying to hide his blush and sat down on the chair opposite from him. Francis rolled his eyes and then sighed:

"Is there something bothering you?"

Lovino looked at the blond man, thought about it for a while and then furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yes. Why does it take my brother so long?" he suddenly asked ready to stand up. Francis laughed, but returned serious immediately after:

"I don't think you were thinking about him, _cher_." Francis said. "Unless there is something going on with your brother I should know about…" he added, raising one eyebrow sensually, to which Lovino just scoffed.

"Sick…"

"Then what is it?"

Lovino looked at Francis, then down at his hands, then at Francis again. He suddenly blushed as soon as he realized how ridiculous the question inside his head was.

"Do you… ahm…" Lovino bit his lips. He was being stupid, he knew. "Are you still in contact with Carriedo?" he blurted out then, "Or with anyone else of your stupid friends! Not that I care, is just…!"

"You miss him, don't you?" Francis asked, cutting Lovino and smiling softly at him. Lovino opened his mouth to retort, but Francis interrupted him once more. "No, I'm not. Last time I heard from him was before the War started…"

"Oh." Lovino said, secretly disappointed by Francis' answer. Francis sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked up at the ceiling for a long moment, before he looked at Lovino straight in the eyes again.

"He was really a lonely man, don't you think?" Francis said then. Lovino looked at him, quite lost.

"What do you mean?"

"The Carriedos come from a little village, did you know? Antonio used to spend his summer vacations there when he was younger. When his parents died he stopped going to the village altogether." Francis said, he paused for a moment and then continued:

"The Carriedos made their fortune step by step. They practically gave their own blood to become what they had become. They were one of the most powerful families for generations, until the scandal with your father put them in a very difficult position and almost lost everything because of him. Antonio was an only child and even if he always looked cheerful, in the inside he was really lonely."

"I don't care." Lovino said, looking down at his hands again.

"I suppose you don't." Francis said. "I do, though. He was my friend since I can remember. He always needed something to give sense to his life. When his parents died, his only purpose became to be as great as your father had been. He conquered half of the world with the family business. The only one who was slightly wealthier than him was Arthur Kirkland. I suppose you don't know him…"

"Oh, I do." Lovino said, surprised by the venom in his voice. Francis didn't seem to note anything amiss with Lovino's behavior and continued:

"It's a kind of life that really eats you from the inside out. I was the same and I couldn't save him from himself because of that. He was stubborn, he easily lost control and he hated being called stupid." Francis laughed a little and then added: "Pity he was. He couldn't read the weather even if they paid him. He had always been a romantic, air-headed man…"

"I know…" Lovino said, hating how much Francis' words hurt him. Lovino wanted to tell him to stop talking about him, but he just didn't have the strength to. Since the last time Lovino saw him, Antonio's name always popped out, in one way or another, in his head, and Lovino felt slightly glad that he wasn't the only one to feel that way as Francis too seemed to miss the idiot a lot.

He had promised himself he would get over him, but getting over something so important ended up being more difficult than he had first supposed.

"I wish I knew where he is now." Francis said then after a long moment of thought. He looked at Lovino and smiled. "I'm glad you and him met, you know?" he added, taking Lovino totally aback, "Maybe you met in the most unorthodox way that exists in this world, but he started to look really happy when you came into his life. I swear he became another person. You must have been what he had unconsciously been searching for since he was born."

"What a bunch of crap, Francis." Lovino said, not looking at the older man in the eyes. Francis laughed and suddenly stood up from his chair. Lovino bit his lips and tried to control the frantic beating of his heart. Lovino suddenly remembered the guitar in his car and wondered if it was a sane thing to keep that thing with him.

"Francis!" Feliciano's voice suddenly echoed in the hallway, "Everything is ready!"

"Oh, good!" Francis shouted back, then turned to Lovino and winked. "It took them awfully long, don't you think?" he laughed at Lovino's shocked expression and then skipped his way out. Lovino widened his eyes at him. He probably told him all those things so he wouldn't run after Ludwig and Feliciano.

"The bastard."

For the next weeks Francis' words kept repeating inside Lovino's head like a mantra. He couldn't stop thinking about it and he became so frustrated that he started taking out all his repressed anger on Feliciano. Ludwig wasn't really happy about Lovino's behavior, but for once Feliciano actually stood up for Lovino.

"There must be something bothering him!" Feliciano would say when he thought Lovino wasn't listening. "Please! Don't hurt him!"

"I have no intention to."

"Good, because you really looked terrifying for a moment there…"

Lovino couldn't care less if Ludwig looked terrifying or not, neither did he care if Feliciano could read him like an open book sometimes. It annoyed him beyond relief, but he was glad Feliciano didn't ask too much about it. Sometimes Lovino wondered what Antonio was doing in that moment, and more often than not Lovino concluded that Antonio was living happily with a woman and their five kids.

"Why five?" Feliciano would ask.

"It's pretty obvious, no? Because he liked kids!"

Feliciano couldn't see how these two things could connect.

Lovino suddenly made the most difficult decision of his life when, one day, he suddenly woke up and remembered that Antonio's guitar was still in his car. Lovino then immediately went to retrieve it and suddenly noticed something that Lovino was sure the guitar didn't have when Antonio played it so long ago.

On the wood, carved in small letters, was written:

_I'll always belong to you. A.F.C. _

Lovino stared at the words for a long time and it took him a lot to realize that he wasn't dreaming and that there really was something carved on the guitar's back. For a moment Lovino thought that Antonio was stupid enough to write something dedicated to the guitar, but when he slowly realized that Antonio too couldn't be so stupid to write something so cheesy for a damned guitar and that it was indeed a message for him, Lovino suddenly made up his mind.

He was going to search for him. Just to see if he was alright, then he would return immediately back home. Nothing more, nothing else.

The first place Lovino thought of was Antonio's own homeland and it took him more or less two months to arrive there. Coming up with an excuse about his long absent from home to Feliciano hadn't been easy, but it looked like Feliciano already had some suspicious about Lovino's intentions and didn't put up much opposition for leaving him for so long. Lovino wondered if Francis had said something to him, or if he just couldn't wait to be finally alone with Ludwig. He hoped for the first choice because he didn't know if he had the courage to leave Feliciano behind if it ended up being the second one instead.

The little village Francis had talked to him about wasn't so little anymore. Although it wasn't as big as the town near the mansion was, it had everything it needed to be properly called a town as well. Lovino studied all the houses, the shops and the streets and suddenly realized there wasn't much difference with the town back in his own homeland. The architecture was different, and the people spoke another dialect too, but Lovino couldn't say he didn't feel at home.

Lovino wondered if Antonio was there somewhere, before he realized that, if he were Antonio, he would never return back to his parent's village again. At least that was what Lovino would and had in fact done, getting as much distance as he could between himself and the memories he had of his father.

But what if the memory of his dead parents hurt less than the loss of your soul mate?

"Bullshit." Lovino exclaimed, immediately erasing the thought.

Lovino really didn't expect to see Antonio there. He just wanted to understand that strange man a little more by coming to the village –now town- where Antonio spent his summer vacations in. For the time being Lovino didn't see anything strange with it. It was a town like every other else, and Lovino felt a little disappointed at that. Drawing a sigh he decided that the best thing he could do was find an inn and reserve a room as he was too tired to leave the village right then.

Lovino walked down the streets, checking around for a hostel and finally found one that Lovino supposed he could afford. It didn't look luxurious and it wasn't in a good shape either, but the fact many people seemed to come and go from there, made Lovino think that it may be worth it in the end.

He made his way to it and opened the door. As soon as he made the first step inside, Lovino was surprised to see how many people were there: at least fifteen tables were scattered around the place and all of them were occupied by men and women cheerfully eating and drinking. Lovino realized that the rooms must be on the first floor and that if there were so many people there, there was no way there was an available bed for him. Lovino nevertheless decided to give it a try, not really in the mood to spend more money that he wanted in another hostel, and, feeling already quite disappointed, he made his way to the barstool where he was sure he would find the host.

There was no one there and Lovino raised an eyebrow at that. How could someone have so many clients when there was no one welcoming new guests? Lovino suddenly noticed the little bell before him and wondered if he should ring it to make his arrival known. He was already with a finger up in the air, when suddenly a man's voice greeted him from behind:

"I'm sorry, as you can see there are so many people to serve and-!"

Lovino froze. He slowly turned around and came face to face with very familiar green eyes and messy chestnut hair. The man who has greeted him was near his thirties and he was really too handsome for words. The smile the other had on his lips disappeared as soon as Lovino turned to look at him.

"It's impossible…" Lovino thought, as the two of them looked at each other in the eyes. Lovino felt his heart racing inside his chest, as the man practically checked him out. They just resembled to each other, Lovino reasoned. There was _no way_ that this man was him! It had been almost too easy. There was no way fate loved Lovino so much.

The man before him regained his senses faster than Lovino did. He smiled brightly at Lovino, and Lovino almost fell down on the floor from all the emotions running inside of him.

"Is that you?" the man said, and Lovino almost fainted. He blinked at Antonio's lookalike and opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of the water. "Lovino?"

Hearing his name from that man was all Lovino needed to suddenly push the other roughly away and get out of the inn as fast as he could. As soon as the slight breeze hit his face, Lovino let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. It took him a while to recompose himself and it took him a whole more to gulp down his emotions and decide what to do.

Should he leave? Right now? Before Antonio realized that it was indeed him?

Or should he…

It was in that moment that Lovino realized Antonio hadn't run after him. He scoffed and looked behind him to the inn's front door again. Quite pissed off that Antonio had indeed let him flee, Lovino made an angry step inside the inn again.

Antonio was there, sitting behind the barstool, looking as confused as Lovino was. As soon as Lovino opened the door again, Antonio looked up and set his eyes on Lovino's ones once more.

It was as every person cheerfully chatting around them had suddenly vanished. For Lovino there was no other than Antonio there and he started walking towards him as if in a dream. Antonio abruptly stood up as well and came to meet him halfway. When they were some steps away from each other, Lovino suddenly blushed.

Antonio was there.

Antonio was alive.

"I…" Lovino opened his mouth, then closed it again and looked down. He knew Antonio was smiling and he couldn't bear to see the emotion in the other's eyes. "I want to reserve a room." Lovino suddenly said then. He looked up at Antonio again, and the older man smiled softly at him in response.

"Of course." Antonio said, taking the bag Lovino had been carrying with him without asking for consent first. "Follow me." Antonio smiled again, grabbing a key from under the barstool and made his way up some stairs on their left. Lovino gulped and followed him to the upper floors. They walked in silence until they stopped before a door on the far end of a corridor on their right.

"Here we are!" Antonio said, cheerful, unlocking the door and opening it. "You are lucky, because this is the last available room I got!"

Lovino looked up at Antonio and quickly stepped inside the room. It wasn't big and just had the most necessary things in it, but Lovino didn't really care. Antonio put his bag on the bed and smiled at him.

"Just call me if you need anything!" Antonio said, and Lovino nodded, still too in shock to say anything intelligent yet. Antonio smiled brightly at him again, gave him the keys and then made his way outside. Lovino remained still for a moment, but when he finally decided to move and stop the other man from going, the door had already clicked close.

Lovino sighed, suddenly noticing how his hands were shaking, and dropped down on the bed. He stared at the ceiling for a long time, listening to his heart beating fast in his chest. It took him a lot to finally fall asleep, but when he did he dreamt of green eyes looking cheerfully down at him.

Lovino woke up to the sound of birds cheeping outside his window. He opened an eye and looked at the sunrays hitting his face. He was quite confused as to where he was for a moment and then suddenly stood up as soon as he remembered what had happened the night before.

Antonio's face filled his mind, and in a moment he put on clean clothes, took his keys and left his room. The corridors were empty, and, as it was still too early, there was no one awake downstairs but a man who whistled quietly to himself while he cleaned the floor with an old-looking broom.

Lovino stared at him for a long, pensive moment and then made up his mind and climbed down the stairs. The creaking the stairs made under his steps, made Antonio suddenly turn to look at him.

"Good morning!" Antonio exclaimed, leaving the broom against a wall and making his way to where Lovino was. Lovino watched him coming towards him and for the slightest of seconds he seriously contemplated running back up to his room.

"What do you wish to eat?" Antonio asked then, looking absolutely ecstatic as he said so, pointing to one of the tables like a good host. Lovino looked at him confused and almost laughed at the silliness of it all. The way Antonio was looking at him, though, made him reconsider the idea that this was all but a too beautiful dream.

"Err… just coffee?" Lovino said then, feeling silly for asking Antonio so. Antonio nodded and then furrowed his eyebrows at him.

"Aren't you hungry?" Antonio asked, looking suddenly worried. Lovino shrugged, feeling his face heat up by the second. Antonio serving him made him feel really awkward, and Lovino honestly didn't know how to deal with the whole situation. Asking Antonio to cook seemed plainly ridiculous!

"I can make some bread with butter and jam for you if you want." Antonio said, "Or I can cook something for you like-!"

"It's okay! I… err…" Lovino cut him. "Bread with butter and jam is fine." he added then, hating the way Antonio practically beamed at him. Lovino sat down and watched as Antonio methodically prepared Lovino's breakfast and put everything before him on a plate. Lovino looked down at the offered meal and then looked up at Antonio again.

"T-thanks…" Lovino said, the awkwardness of the situation making him feel weird in the stomach. Antonio shook his head and then made to return back to his cleaning again. Lovino bit his lips, feeling suddenly dizzy and then, before he could understand what he was saying, exclaimed:

"Can you sit down… w-with me?" Lovino felt his cheeks burn as Antonio immediately dropped the broom and returned back to Lovino again. He sat down before the younger man and smiled softly at Lovino. Lovino couldn't take his eyes off Antonio, and Antonio himself didn't look like he wanted to leave his eyes off Lovino too.

"The coffee is going to get cold…" Antonio said softly then when the awkwardness of the situation reached unbearable levels.

"I-I know, bastard!" Lovino scoffed and immediately took a sip of his coffee, almost burning himself in the process. They remained in silence for a long moment, before Lovino decided to dare talking again. "So you work here now?"

He didn't intent to sound so mocking and Lovino immediately regretted the way his mind still couldn't believe Antonio was now serving people rather than boss them around.

"I have to make a living somehow." Antonio said, leaning down on his hand. Lovino nodded, biting down on his bread, and doing everything he could to advert Antonio's eyes. "It's fun! I love serving people! I love seeing the happiness in their faces when they eat something they like! I feel helpful!"

"What a bunch of crap…" Lovino whispered then, to which Antonio laughed.

"No, it's true." Antonio said, and his tone of voice made Lovino look at him again. Antonio's eyes were practically glinting with joy. Lovino swallowed down his coffee, feeling his stomach churn again. "I have always been the boss." Antonio added then, "I always had people serving me and I feel like I now have to return what I was given. I'm not a slave, of course. I work on my own free will."

"Well…" Lovino's voice was raucous. He coughed and then continued: "You always have been some kind of an idiot." He said and then gulped, "Serving people is a bitch. How can you be fucking happy doing that?"

"I earn a whole with this, you know?" Antonio laughed then, receiving a murderous look from Lovino. "But, jokes apart, I like this. It's nice to know that people feel dependant on you somehow."

"I knew you were just selfish." Lovino scoffed and put down his now empty cup of coffee. Antonio stretched his hand to take it and for the slightest moment their fingers touched. Lovino and Antonio looked at each other again, drowning in each other eyes like they never did before. It was Antonio who came back to his senses first. He took the empty cup and plate away and stood up. He made some steps away from Lovino, before he turned back to look at him again.

"I'm glad to see you well." Antonio said, his voice soft and beautiful. A voice Lovino hadn't known he missed so much until he heard it again. "You grown into a really handsome man, and I'm sure you are flirted with a lot, don't you?"

Lovino pouted and looked away, blushing madly.

"Shut up!"

Antonio laughed a little. His lips stretched into a smile and he looked at Lovino with kind, green eyes.

"I never thought I would see you again." Antonio said. Lovino didn't dare to look at him.

"W-well… err…" Lovino looked down at his hands, "… me neither…" he whispered then, so softly he hoped Antonio hadn't heard him. Nevertheless, Antonio smiled more brightly at that and made to go towards the kitchens once more.

"But you don't miss me, don't you?" Lovino suddenly exclaimed all at once, stopping Antonio once more. "I mean… I hope you fucking don't, damn it. Because I'm not here for you! It's just a damned coincidence! And… anyway! You must be already married and stuff! So…"

"I'm not married." Antonio said, quite confused by Lovino's ramblings. Lovino looked up at him, shocked, and then blushed again.

"W-why?" Lovino asked, realizing immediately it was stupid from his part to say so.

"I promised there was going to be no one else after you." Antonio said, "Even if I wanted to. I can't."

"W-why?" Lovino asked again, feeling weird once more. He had to feel like that years now, and Lovino honestly didn't expect to feel again that way ever again.

"I wouldn't be honest with myself if I did." Antonio said, matter-of-fact. Lovino stared at him, and Antonio suddenly smiled again. "Every day it hurts so much to know I can't reach you and sometimes I miss you so much I want to fucking die. It's pathetic, isn't it? I know you moved on with your life and you should. I did nothing but harm you." Antonio seemed lost in thought for a moment, "I searched for you for a period of time. I was afraid something happened to you in the War." Antonio continued. "When I was told you were safe and alive, I suddenly felt in peace with myself. I hoped you had found your brother and have started living as you would have had if I hadn't barge into your life in that way."

"I did find my brother." Lovino laconically said. Antonio smiled.

"I'm glad."

"He is waiting for me…" Lovino said, "We live in…" he mentioned the town's name, "We are okay. Well… if he didn't have an affair with that fucking potato-head I would be much happier, but we are okay. We are damned fine on our own and we don't need anyone. We decided to just forget the past and move on. "

"I'm glad." Antonio said once more and finally left him alone. Lovino waited for him to return, and quietly watched the other clients finally come down and take their seats. All the tables were filled in an instant, and Antonio immediately went to greet them and take their orders. Lovino remained watching him for a moment, before he made up his mind and decided to go up his room, take his things and leave.

"Wait!"

Lovino looked behind him to see Antonio waving at him. Lovino raised an eyebrow, talked to a man that had came in the inn a few moments before and then ran to where Lovino stood.

"You must visit the town before you go!" Antonio exclaimed, "I spent my summers here when I was a kid so I know the place practically by heart. I'll gladly take you around, if you want!"

Lovino was tempted to decline the offer, but before he could say anything, Antonio grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out of the inn.

"Hey! Stop!" Lovino exclaimed, as soon as he realized the difficult position Antonio was pushing him into, "Can you leave the inn like that, idiot?"

"Yes, at least for today!" Antonio said, smiling brightly at him. Lovino couldn't find anything against that and unwillingly followed Antonio around. The older man started describing the places around him, and Lovino listened to him not really caring about what he was saying at all.

"This is the church! We used to come here every Sunday. I was also baptized here and my mother wanted me to marry here as well. It's a pity that didn't work out, isn't it?" he laughed, "And that was the old barber shop. I used to watch him shave the men's beards and always wondered what it would feel like to have all that facial hair on me. Should I grow a beard, Lovino? Do you think it will suit me well?" this time it was Lovino who laughed, "Oh! And then that was where the other kids used to play. My father didn't let me because he said we were too rich for mundane things like that and…"

Lovino suddenly looked at Antonio and remembered Francis' words.

_"He was a really lonely man, wasn't he?"_

Lovino realized there were many things he didn't know about Antonio, but step by step, each word Antonio said, Lovino could picture a little boy standing on his own watching the other kids play while he needed to become a grown up fast in order to take his parents' place in this world. He was catapulted in a world ruled by money and power before he could actually realize that there were other, more important things surrounding him. At some point in life revenge had been his reason to live and it was then that he had met Lovino.

(And then Lovino became Antonio's purpose in life.)

"Oh! I know where I should take you!" Antonio suddenly said, took Lovino's hand and started running. Lovino was too lost in thought to care where they were going and only when they arrived in a vast prairie did Lovino realize that they had left the town for good.

"Where are you taking me, idiot?" Lovino cursed, looking frantically around and searching for another human being. They were alone, and Lovino turned to give Antonio an earful when he suddenly saw Antonio drop down on the grass.

"What are you fucking doing?" Lovino exclaimed. "Get up and take me back! We are not here to play! Come on!"

"This was my favorite place when I was young!" Antonio said, ignoring Lovino's laments. "It's so quiet!" he exclaimed, stretched his arms in the air and closed his eyes.

"Don't you dare fall asleep!" Lovino shouted, narrowing his eyes at Antonio.

"No one bothered me here…" Antonio continued instead. Lovino groaned and sat down near Antonio. "Lay down." Antonio suddenly ordered, "Doesn't it feel great?"

Lovino unwillingly did as told and then pouted:

"It feels stupid."

Lovino felt Antonio softly breathe besides him and slightly moved his head to where the other was. He wasn't surprised when he caught Antonio staring at him, but at the same time he didn't turn away as he thought he would. On the contrary, he gazed at Antonio right back and felt his hand crawl to where Antonio's one was.

Antonio suddenly let out a sigh and closed his eyes again, and Lovino suddenly wondered why he felt so weird laying beside the other man like that. Hadn't he moved on? Hadn't he forgotten about him?

He suddenly remembered what his brother had asked him years ago and what Lovino had answered.

_"Where did you find that golden cross?"_

_"Oh, I just picked it up from the street."_

Then he remembered the guitar he had taken from the mansion and the hidden message carved on it. He hadn't move on, had he? Neither of them had.

"Do you really belong to me?" Lovino suddenly asked, not really thinking his words over.

"Always."

"Why are you so fucking cheesy?"

"I was born this way. I can't help it. In fact, when you came through that door yesterday, I felt like I have fallen in love with you all over again. Is that cheesy too?", Antonio said, laughing softly at his own words.

It took a while for Lovino to react.

"Idiot. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"I know. I said I can't help it!" Antonio laughed again, intertwining their fingers together. Lovino pulled his hand away and looked another way. "My heart belongs to you. It's too late now to try and take it back."

"Could you please stop saying fucking nonsense?" Lovino said, suddenly pissed off. Antonio smiled apologetically.

"Sorry!"

"You are such an idiot! You should fucking _move on_, bastard!" Lovino suddenly exclaimed, standing up on his elbows and looking at Antonio straight in the eyes. "We never could have been! Our relationship was sick and could never work! Even if it did, what would have happened? Have you ever thought about it? It was so dysfunctional! We practically used each other! You were my master and I was your fucking servant!"

"I'm not anymore."

"Yeah, okay!" Lovino groaned, "But that's not the point, isn't it? Where are we going to fucking live? Two men can't live together like that! We both have a normal life now and you should take advantage of this! This town needs you here! You have a whole business going on! And I'm sure you'll find someone much better than me! Moreover, my whole life is with my brother now! We can't work! We fucking can't! Damn it!"

"Yes, you are right."

"Fuck yeah I am!" Lovino angrily shouted, "And I don't fucking understand how I am supposed to forget you if I fucking keep wanting to return back to you!"

Lovino suddenly felt Antonio tackle him again down on the ground and kiss his lips with fervor. The younger man kissed him back just as eagerly and suddenly realized how much he had missed Antonio's taste in his mouth till that day. Antonio kept kissing his lips, his nose, his cheeks, his eyes, everything he could reach for and Lovino would let him do it without feeling any regrets.

"God! I hate you!" Lovino exclaimed, closing his eyes shut and feeling Antonio's body over him. Antonio's fingers ran down his neck and suddenly stopped where the golden cross laid above Lovino's skin. Antonio suddenly broke the kiss and, as if remembering what was going on, let go of Lovino as if burned. Lovino was glad that someone had enough strength to stop that madness, and with his cheeks burning, he slowly stood up. Antonio followed him soon after and made their way back to town together. They didn't talk after that and remained in silence until they arrived back to the inn again.

Antonio was the first to step inside. Lovino remained deep in thought for a while more and then followed the other in. He shot a glance over to where Antonio had returned back to serving his guests and then sat down to eat dinner.

He passed the rest of the day alone, quietly walking around the town and then spending the rest of his time in his room. He finally came down only when morning came.

Lovino packed his things, locked the door and went downstairs. There was no sign of Antonio, so Lovino put the keys back on their place under the barstool on his own. He wondered if he should leave without a goodbye, but then thought it over better and sat down on the same table he had the day before. It didn't take long for Antonio to suddenly appear from the kitchens and he stared at Lovino from afar in silence before finally making his way to where the younger man was sitting.

"Good morning!" Antonio said, smiling brightly.

"Well, yeah… you too…" Lovino said, looking up at Antonio as he made himself comfortable on the chair besides his. They looked at each other for a long time, not really having the strength to take their eyes off each other. Lovino thought it was fucking insane, but he couldn't refrain from smiling when Antonio looked at him in that way…

"You should smile more often." Antonio said, leaning against his hand and absentmindedly touching Lovino's one. Lovino immediately hid his smile behind his hand, scoffed and shrugged:

"I've heard it before."

"And you still don't listen." Antonio smiled again, intertwining their fingers together. Lovino looked down at his hand and then started blushing madly.

"I must go." He said then, pulling away and picking up his bag. They stood up together and Antonio even accompanied him to his car. Lovino sat on the driver's seat and looked down at Antonio again.

"Take care." Antonio said.

"Yeah… err… you too…" Lovino said, starting the engine and finally leaving Antonio behind.

When Lovino returned back to his brother two months later, he suddenly felt at peace with himself for the first time in seven years. Nevertheless, he didn't have the time to dwell too much on it as he had other things to do. His daily life returned exactly where he had left it before he decided to go and pay a visit to the old mansion. Everything felt like a dream, and sometimes Lovino thought that he had never met Antonio again.

Lovino helped Feliciano out in the fields, and shouted at Ludwig every time the other dared to make a step closer to his little brother. Day by day Lovino managed to earn the desired amount of money to buy the house that was for sale near theirs and when he finally did he was on cloud nine.

That morning Lovino was happily harvesting his new tomato field. Lovino was absentmindedly singing a song as he poured water on his new plants.

"You are strangely in a good mood these days, Lovino!" Feliciano exclaimed, for the millionth time in a month. Lovino shot him a look and then pointed at a basket at his feet.

"Stop fucking around and help me out, will you?" Lovino ordered instead. Feliciano completely ignored his dirty mouth and proceeded to pick the tomatoes up.

"I'm really happy for you!" Feliciano said, earning a murderous glance from his brother, "Since you went to that "trip" of yours…" he said, emphasizing the word with his fingers, "…you look extremely happy!"

"None of your fucking business!"

"Oh, come on! You can tell me~" Feliciano teased, smiling brightly at him. "So what happened? What happened?"

"Do you want me to cut your throat?" Lovino threatened, pointing the scissors he was holding at Feliciano's neck. Feliciano pouted:

"You are so mean!" Feliciano exclaimed and then added: "And anyway, you wouldn't dare! Because you love me too much to kill me!"

"Who said that?" Lovino said, smirking at Feliciano. Feliciano's breath hitched and started shouting:

"LUDWIG! Ludwig! My brother wants to kill me!"

"Oh, shut up! Don't call that bastard every fucking time!" Lovino exclaimed then, dropping the scissors on the ground, "I'm not in the mood to confront him right now!"

"Oh, don't worry. He is not here." Feliciano giggled, "See? You wouldn't have dared!"

"Of course I would have!" Lovino spat and then furrowed his eyebrows: "Where is he, by the way?"

"He went to greet the new neighbor!" Feliciano said, nonchalantly, "I haven't seen him yet! He bought the house one week ago and now is moving in! Isn't it great?"

"W-which house?" Lovino exclaimed, dreading the answer. Feliciano tilted his head:

"Well, the house that was for sale all this time!" Feliciano said, matter of fact, "Why? Were you interested?"

Lovino's eyes widened. Without another word, he left Feliciano alone and practically ran to where the house he had wanted to buy all that time was. Lovino immediately noticed the trunks, the bags and the brand new car standing before the house and glanced to see if he could peek inside and spot the new fucking neighbor.

He was pissed off! How dare this guy buy what was rightfully his!

Lovino saw Ludwig come out of the house instead talking to someone walking behind him. Feeling that was the right time to start a fight, Lovino purposely made his way to the front door. Ludwig stopped in his tracks when he noticed him and turned to say something to the guy behind him again.

"Hey, you-!" Lovino exclaimed, angry. Ludwig turned to look at him, sure he was talking to him, but raised an eyebrow when he realized that the anger wasn't, for the first time in his life, directed at him. He suddenly stepped aside and let the new owner of the house out to confront Lovino.

In that moment, Lovino died.

"Hi!"

"You…" Lovino blinked as Antonio suddenly appeared and waved at him.

"Do you already know each other?" Ludwig asked, curious, but neither of them listened to him. Antonio had eyes for Lovino only and he stepped closer to him, making his way to where Lovino stood.

"You bought the house?" Lovino asked unbelieving.

"Yeah!" Antonio said, putting his hands on his waist. "When I was told it was near yours, I couldn't help but leave everything and come stay here!"

Lovino stared at him totally at loss with words.

"Why don't we move in together?" Antonio suddenly asked, as if it was the most normal thing in the world and taking Lovino totally aback. "I can pretend to be your long lost cousin, if you want, so no one will ask questions about us! I'll be there for you forever, and we can forget all about our dysfunctional past. I can build another inn here, get a job or help you out with your brother's business. I don't care, as long as I can start a new life with you. Let's start everything over, Lovino. Together."

Lovino looked at him, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth slightly opened.

And suddenly he thought: why not?

He imagined himself in five years time, living together with the most idiotic man that existed on earth. He imagined himself kicking Antonio in the shin when he said something really stupid. He imagined Antonio telling him he loved him at every inopportune moment. He imagined Antonio helping him picking up tomatoes. He imagined them fighting over something trivial. He imagined mumbled apologies in the dark. He imagined himself being jealous when Antonio would compliment Feliciano in something. He imagined Antonio having eyes for him only, kissing him and holding him whenever they wanted…

And if it didn't work, who cared? At least they had tried to do it in the right way this time.

Everything that had happened between them before it didn't matter anymore. Lovino felt like everything happened just for them to live that precise, single moment there: with Antonio smiling at him, asking him to start a life together, a real life, as equals, as friends and as lovers.

Lovino could finally forget, get over his past and stop being tormented by memories of his father leaving him, his brother leaving him, Bella, Nathan, and then Antonio… Be able to finally push the thought of Pasquale and his gang aside and forget the pain that slavery (physical, mental and emotional) had put him in.

He could stop comparing himself to a lemon tree that stood forever alone in a back garden without a chance to escape whatsoever, with fruits too sour to be loved by everyone and marked forever by a letter on a trunk.

He was a free man now. They were both free to lead their life as they wanted.

Lovino stared at Antonio, and for the first time in his life he didn't hide his smile to him.

"Bastard." He said. "I love you too."

_The end._


End file.
